Why do we miss our ex's?

[Scooter]

Hi everyone. I have another quick question to ask.

 

I wondered whether males/females miss their relationships for different reasons.

 

As a red-blooded male I do certainly miss the physical side of the relationship a lot and wondered if that was the same for other guys. I quite often read here (and I have experienced it myself) that guys are cut-up most because because they fear or they know their ex is sleeping with someone else.

 

On the other hand, what do the ladies miss most from their relationships? Is it the security of having someone? I think women don't put as much emphasis on sex as guys do.

 

Would appreciate peoples opinions (guys and gals).

[Beec]

I think we all miss the emotional side of what our exes did give us. This may differ for lots of us, but generally they fill in the holes in pour lives and psyches and make us feel desirable and attractive. If they don't do this themselves, the idea that the relationship can give us these things does. We often miss one or the other.

[cobro]

I know what you mean Scooter. Personally, its been over 5 months since my gf broke up with me. I've pretty much moved on, except for the times I miss the physical aspect of the relationship. I know its my fault I miss this, because I have not been with anyone else since, nor have I made the effort to. I suppose once I get out in the dating world again and finally have something physical with someone new, I will no longer miss my that aspect of the relationship that I had with my ex. Like right now, I'll find myself drifting off while sitting in my cubicle at work, thinking of the sexual experiences I had with her, but at the same time knowing that someday I will have them with somone new and better, but I don't know when. As for my ex, I know she has been with 2 guys since me, maybe more. And it hurts to know she is doing those things with someone else, but it doesn't matter anymore because she's proved that she's a skanky ho with STD's. So to answer your question, its normal to still have these thoughts, really normal if you haven't been with anyone else since her. I am getting ready to enter the six month mark and have decided to go out again and meet girls, and see what happens. Hope this helps!

 

cobro

[VickiRose]

I miss the feeling of being in love... Thats the only thing that I miss...

[misiek001]

I can't pinpoint exactly what I miss about my ex. I've dated other girls since our breakup, so I've had the physical and the emotional, but I keep missing "her". It's a good question, because I know it's over, too many things have happened in both our lives, but I still miss her and think about her everyday. I guess that is the eternal question -- why do we continue to miss?

[hairybda]

I havn't dated anyone since my GF left me.

 

I don't think guys/girls miss anything different; I think its indiviual persons who miss things differently and as a result handle the missing ..

 

 

My X, she's slept with 3 guys now apparently. It tears me up inside, but as my pretty new girly roommate says (Who the X couldn't stand), the only reason why women do such things is to make themselves feel better. Remember that!

 

I really miss being touched, having my shoulders rubbed.. sleeping on my stomach having her hand above my but.

 

Ah. I can't wait.

 

Tonight, before the yoga class I goto, I saw this girl I went sailing with about 5 months ago.. she is looking so good. Best off, right before valentines day where I dragged the X to, she was there.. with another girl smiling at me.

 

I remember that moment very clearly.. with the X, she looked terrible .. and this other girl, so pretty, single...

 

I can't wait..

 

I miss relationships & hanging out!

 

Sorry to ramble!

[Sk8r55]

i'm only 14, and my girlfriend is 12, so i don't exactly worry about her sleeping with other guys, we haven't even kissed... during the 3 day period that we weren't going out last week (she dumped me, then started to like me again) I just missed talking to her the way we talked.

[mahlina]

I miss having a buddy of the oppossite sex to joke and flirt around with. I miss having that person who I can completely let go and be myself. I don't trust easily, so I miss being able to spend time with that special person. I just miss having someone to be silly and goofy with, someone who I can completely be myself without getting burned or judged, like my ex.

 

Sometimes I'll think about my ex, the one that I was with technically for 4 years. I always think about his laughter. Sometimes when I'm driving, I'll suddenly just think of him out of nowhere, and tears will fall.

 

I miss having that bestfriend. He was such a gift to my life. I miss having someone who I trust. But then again, some of his actions proved that I could not trust him. God, it makes me so emotional just thinking about him. It's funny because out of all of my ex's after him, I still always remember all of the love that we had, though I know that our relationship will never work out.

 

I think that it's the fact that we miss those "cherished" memories. We miss having that person who is the 'one and only true person' in this world. We miss having someone who we trust enough to confide in, our "safetynet," that love and companionship. Oh well...life sucks, but hey, I wish him luck... It's so tough to find genuine and honest people in life isn't it? I miss knowing that there is someone out there who I completely bond with.

[jarhead]

I think its different for different people. If ur all physical with ur ex, then u prolly'll miss the kissing, the making out, the sex. But if ur more emotional and all, then u'll miss the talking, and relating, the inside jokes. But i think everyone misses the security that they had with that person. even if u r in another relationship and ur really secure, u'll still miss the security there was with that one person. and u also miss the way that u loved everything about them, and getting up each day to see them. thats what i think

[Uplifted Since]

We miss our ex's because they made us feel very special. They had that connection us we thought would last forever. Sometimes we long for that special connection we had with them. Personally, I do miss both the physical and emotional parts of the relationship with my ex. It hurts to think about her sleeping with her new love. It hurts to know that you'll never be able to share that intimacy we once had with them. Above all, I miss all the games, inside jokes, fantasies, and love that we shared.

 

To know that I can do all these things with another person somewhere down the road, reduces my hopes in getting back together with my Ex.

[Fisch]

Mahlina, regarding your post on why we miss our Xs... You breakin my heart here! Dont get to down on yourself about that kind of stuff i feel that way sometiemes, but most of the time i feel that i make intimate connections with people very easily, so finding love isnt a problem. Yet what you said still seems familiar and sad to me. I hope you find some1 you really love and work out with all of you! -Fisch

[mahlina]

Thank You Fisch!

 

I know what you mean. I'm crying like a drunk, depressed-person, but I'm sober, and still feeling this pain. It's like the more awake I am to my pain, the more amplified it feels. My emotions just went crashing just after reading this post. I know what you mean by trusting people, and opening up, but there are only few people who I can trust. I'm tired of lies and deception. My heart is tired.

 

My ex reminds me of my dad, the one and only true person in my life, aside from my family. He was my peace. This whole ordeal is all psychological, and stems back to my past. My dad was my everything. I guess I am still grieving over his death. He gave me that love that one would never ask for, that bond that's so hard to break. It's the love that's given, and not asked for. And now it's gone, all gone!

 

I can survive on my own. He was my crutch, just like my father. Oh well...Life will throw its crap at you, but I guess it is just my time to be that 'independent' person 'fate' intended me to be. I just hope that life will treat him well. I know that this pain is only temporary.

 

With all of my love, I hope that he is in good hands!

Ngo ai Ni.

 

Once again, thanks Fisch!

[pip]

It really depends on the person.

 

I personally miss the affection and feeling of being 'loved' and 'wanted' by someone. I think we're all different, and we all have different needs.