he has a crush on me...

[the lonely heart]

Hi y'all...

If you recall I broke up with my ex in January. Well, since then I've met this new guy (who shares the same freaky first name) who seems to be a great guy @ my school. He's admitted to me last night that he has a crush on me and now I'm confused/stumped. I like this guy from what I've seen of him so far but frankly I am still into my ex... ugh...

 

So anywho, I was wondering -- do you think its fair on the new guy for me to go out with him? I DO like him even though I still have feelings for the ex. Of course its just a mere date but I don't want to hurt his feelings or give him the wrong impression, etc. Also, would it be better to keep it mum when talkin' with my ex who is now my friend?

 

any advice is welcome. thanks.

 

Celina --->--@

[S4il]

who knows, you might like this guy better than you did your EX, how can you tell if you don't give him a chance, it's just a simple date...right?

 

and plus meeting someone new, will get your Mind off your EX...it happens to the best of us, we always find ourselves hurting, dwelling, and crushed over a split in a relationship, broken hearted... and than when we find someone new, better, different in every way imaginable, all being positive things, we fall head over heals for them, *sometimes*

 

a fairy tall story, with a fairy tail ending, wish life was that way...but it can be, it's a possibly, everything is possible, just believe in yourself, believe in what you have before you, a guy who wants to get to know you, wants to take you out on a date, not to much to ask, just accept his invitation...you never know what could transpire.

[Emotional]

Your still young frankly i think u should be able to have a life of ur own..let both guys know that this may only be one time that yall go out..just to have some fun tell them..tell them they are both gr8 guys..or if those 2 guys dont even know eachother just keep it on the D/l (downlow) b/c its really none of there buisiness..ur still young like i sed..Exes die hard dont they? seeing a new guy who oviously likes ya would bea good change..so i hope i helped ur some..love EmOtIoNaL

[the lonely heart]

thanks gals and guys... i appreciate the advice...sometimes it just helps to have someone rehash what you've been thinking

[mahlina]

Hi LonelyHeart,

 

I know that I've just replied to your PM, but just wanted to give you an extra suggestion on this one. I didn't catch this post prior to responding to your PM, but here goes:

 

1. You need time to heal.

2. You need to confront those 'issues' before you move onto anything serious.

3. Give it time...

 

With all this said and done, I know that you still truly are hurt, so give yourself time to heal. It's best to 'heal' by yourself. It would be great to get to know someone for now, but sounds like this guy might remind you too much of your ex for now, especially because he has the same first name. Think about it, everytime you call out his name, you'll somehow probably think about your ex. So for now, just keep him at a distance. You don't want to end up in a sort of 'rebound' relationship, because that's not a wise decision either:

 

1. You don't want to be hurt twice.

2. Or vice versa, you don't want that guy to get hurt because you're still thinking about your ex.

 

It's not fair for him either right? That's why you asked us about our opinions, and that was nice of you to be considerate of his feelings. It shows that you are definitely NOT selfish, and mature enough to do so. You have a good head on your shoulder!

 

I saw this guy for after my breakup with an ex. We barely talked for a week, and he thought that I was serious about him. We didn't even hold hands, and after taking me out for dinner, he asked me, "so what are we?" Then I froze and felt bad. I didn't know that he was 'serious,' thought he just wanted to go out for dinner...

 

So, what I'm getting at is, this guy sounds like he has a deep crush on you since he did tell you. This guy is 'sincere,' and 'honest.' If you are serious about getting to 'know' him, then tell him upfront that you need time to recooperate with your emotions. If he understands this then he is a 'good' guy.

 

I felt bad for the other guy because, I did nothing to show him that I saw him as 'potential,' yet he thought that we were b/f and g/f. I don't know where he got that from, but I still feel bad about the situation, because I've never encountered anyone bogus like him. In the end, I learned that people should 'warn' others ahead of time. Besides, we barely knew each other for a week, so why did he have to act that way? Oh well, I guess he was either 'inexperienced' in the dating department, or just really had a 'big' head...

 

So just make sure that you're not hurting the guy's emotions. Make it clear to him that you are 'trying to move on' so that he can prepare and face the reprocussions that he might have to challenge himself to, just by getting to know you.

 

Good Luck, and take care. I understand the emotions that you are going through right now. You are a nice gal, who deserves someone nice like him, but give it time.

 

With all Respect,

-Mahlina

 

P.S.- Keep your chin up, and take my advice about the ex! Tell him what's up!!! =) And feel free to date when you are truly ready! Good Luck!