robert7x Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I've been thinking about something the other day... I think i have no idea how to be in a relationship... As soon as i'm in it, i see it fail... I can attract girls and date and all that... but as soon as i'm in a relationship, i become too soft and they start using me. I guess i can give a little intro... The girl i'm seeing now is driving me nuts with her behavior. I'm sure some of you read some of the other threads about the issues i had with her... Lately, it's just been plain hell for me. I'm too damn emotionaly involved and it's driving me nuts where all i do is worry what's gonna happen next. It's like she's looking at things to pick fights... or maybe i'm just not understanding things and how to be in a relationship. To me, once you are in relationship, you care about each other and you meet each other half way on things... compromise, adapt to one another etc. Why must we still play these games, and why must I still be a challenge, act like i have other things to do when I don't... This is all bs. Is it my fault that i want to see her and be with her every chance I get? I guess it is because of my past, but in her case... I think she only wants to see me when she's bored or whatever else... If one of her friends calls she'll go with them no matter what. It's like i'm the last guy on her list... And then one day she's all nice and cute... the girl i fell for. I've read many books about relationships... how to be the man and not give in and all that stuf... I can't do that. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm afraid of loosing her especially since she's been a good friend before we started... and if i "put my foot down" so to say, it'll just create more fights. Can I please get some advice on how to actually be in a relationship... or how to act toward this girl... I need to grow some cohones and say F**k it all and move on... But then if I do that... what did I learn? I'll probably be back again to same crap. Thank you all. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I've been thinking about something the other day... I think i have no idea how to be in a relationship... As soon as i'm in it, i see it fail... I can attract girls and date and all that... but as soon as i'm in a relationship, i become too soft and they start using me. I guess i can give a little intro... "The System" by doc love is very good IMHO. Avoid relationship books written by female authors - realize that relationship means different things for males and for females. Also very good one is by David DeAngelo - "Double your dating". Important thing is that you are eager to grow and change your wrong ways. If you are not, there is no book in this world that can help you. Link to comment
iamtrying Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Hi, Im sorry this is happening to you. I'm not one to offer much help on the subject. But basically I think you should cut her out of your life and move on. Please go to link removed and type in the search "relationships" and you'll find heaps of valuable relationship resources that can help you, and see you through this problem your facing. Hope this helps. And goodluck! Link to comment
robert7x Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 "The System" by doc love is very good IMHO. Avoid relationship books written by female authors - realize that relationship means different things for males and for females. Also very good one is by David DeAngelo - "Double your dating". Important thing is that you are eager to grow and change your wrong ways. If you are not, there is no book in this world that can help you. I read both of those... pdf formats... and many others... David D's cocky and funny stuff works great for dating etc... Doc's system... yeah that's where i got it all about being a challenge and everything... but after i fall for a girl... even though it says you have to remain a challeng for the rest of your life... I just can't. I hate those games. That's not who I am. It's all fake then. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I read both of those... pdf formats... and many others... David D's cocky and funny stuff works great for dating etc... Doc's system... yeah that's where i got it all about being a challenge and everything... but after i fall for a girl... even though it says you have to remain a challeng for the rest of your life... I just can't. I hate those games. That's not who I am. It's all fake then. It's always like that - one with lower interest level controls the relationship. If that is not who you are, then you're probably a guy that fails and always will fail in relationships. Is that better thing to be than a challenge? Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 The one I'm reading right now is full of Aha moments. It's called Way of the Superior Man link removed Not strictly a relationship book, but large parts of it are dedicated to how to interact with the woman in your life, and make total sense. Also matches up a lot with stuff I've read in the dating books mentioned above, but from a natural angle rather than fabricated, if that makes sense. Link to comment
robert7x Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 It's always like that - one with lower interest level controls the relationship. If that is not who you are, then you're probably a guy that fails and always will fail in relationships. Is that better thing to be than a challenge? you're right... I do fail... a lot. But let me ask you this then... how can one be happy in a relationship, when you have to put this "act" all the time... When all you really want is to be your true self... ? Link to comment
Pegasus Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 you're right... I do fail... a lot. But let me ask you this then... how can one be happy in a relationship, when you have to put this "act" all the time... When all you really want is to be your true self... ? It seems you don't really want a guide for dummies - you appear to want a magic wand that will change relationship reality to one that suits you. I am pretty sure there isn't such thing out there. Link to comment
robert7x Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 wouldn't that be great. I actually want something that doesn't require game playing... But it looks like this whole love thing is just one big game... and only the best players win. The ones that know all the angles etc. Thanks for advice bud. R Link to comment
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