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How can I stop these strong feelings of anxiety?


Seria M.
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I've been seeing a counselor about my anxiety problem caused by my shyness. I have a hard time talking to people such as my professors, random strangers, and even my own parents.

 

The only two people I feel completely comfortable talking to is my counselor, and my boyfriend (who also has that same problem).

 

It's already caused me problems: I'm close to failing a supposedly easy class and it's hard to find the courage to ask for help because I've never been the type to ask for help in the academic area. I need tutoring.

 

My most recent problem is telling my parents that I had already put in my two-weeks notice last week. They've been so adamant on me staying at my job that they don't seem to listen when I try to tell them "I don't like it! I want to quit and find another job that suits me."

 

It's almost as if it's their decision to make and I've no say in it at all. I'm 18 years old! Shouldn't I be able to make my own decisions? My parents do NOT understand what I go through in our community college every day. I'm taking 22 credit hours with classes such as Physics, Algebra, Human Development, Philosophy, Speech, Applied Music Lessons (flute), Applied Music Lessons (saxaphone, Applied Music Lessons (Drums/Percussion), Jazz Ensemble, Wind Ensemble, Pep Band, and Cellular Biology/Genetics (Pre-Med/Anthropology major).

 

I also have activities to mend with such as Band, Student Government, ETS (Educational Talent Search), EMC (Engineering/Medical Club), and HALO. I also have a work-study job on the weekdays. I also have a job on the weekends, but I had already put in my aformentioned notice as of last Friday so I can have more personal time for myself and for my friends and wonderful boyfriend as well.

 

I'm just so so afraid of what my parents' reaction will be if I were to tell them I had quit my week-end job. I'm not reliant on the money AT ALL, I've gained enough scholorships and grants that all I paid since I started last semester was a mere $60 (which they sent back half recently, for whatever reason).

 

Is it even right to have these intense feelings of fear and anxiety for this seemingly small task? What's the best way to tell them about my decision to leave my weekend job?

 

I just want to tell them before they find out.

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This was a little hard to respond to because you start with one problem and quickly lead into the next.

 

It sounded to me in your post that you had already told them you quit. It must be a sweet job. Iif your parents are so adamant you keep this job then it must be a good one. Do they feel so strongly that you have THIS job, or maybe they want you to be employed and have a good work ethic. WAIT, no doubt you have a strong work ethic, you are involved in so much I think you are at risk for becoming burnt out.

 

To redcue feelings of anxiety: avoid stimulants like caffiene, replace negative or nervous thoughts with positive and relaxing ones... I think their are as many answers as there are causes of aniexty. Don't worry about.

 

Are you really that busy? (a rhetorical question)

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Well my initial problem was telling my parents about the work situation. I was just trying to add some background information as to how my anxiety led up to this challenge I'm facing now.

 

They just felt strongly about the job because of the sole fact that it's a job. They threatened me to go get a job or I'd be forced to work at a meat-packing industry (which I now realized that it's something they shouldn't have done in the first place). I've worked at my job for 8 months now. Despite a handfull of good moments I've had there, I was just desperate to leave the job overall. I'm just trying to make myself happy.

 

I'm basically busy to the point that I HARDLY have any free time anymore. I can't remember the last time I was sitting underneath the shade of a tree while my boyfriend writes me poetry. I've been missing those moments so much that I'm about to go insane.

 

My job position is Grocery stocker at Wal-Mart, but I dislike the place with a fiery passion. I cannot stand the publicity there.

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Hey Seria,

I understand your situation very well as i have been through the same a few years ago.

You are doing too many things and handling too many responsibilities all at the same time and its adding to your already existing anxiety and stress levels.

All these issue you are facing with your parents and your time, work etc. boils down to one single issue- inability to handle stress and anxiety. These are not independent issues in themselves , these are just the byproduct of the above mentioned reasons.

My suggestion is - Sit down with alone with a calm mind and take stock of your life. find out whats the root cause of these different issues? what are your priorities and are yyou working according to them. Are there some really unimportant things that are taking up your time? what is your confidence level and does it need boosting? Write it all down, if it helps. Then eliminate the unimportant ones and keep the most important and start working towards them with confidence.

 

 

I understand your parents' unhappiness about you leaving the job, But girl , if its the right thing for you to do then , thats it. theres no more to explain or question about it. Only you can understnd wht you enjoy doing. perhaps its a good idea to find a job you like and show them you can do great work.

 

Also, dont try to fit in too many things in ur daily schedule. Try getting some me-time everyday. I would also suggest some yoga everyday, if ypu can manage.

 

Read some time management articles and try managing your time better. a written down to-do list might be a good idea.

 

Hope this helps. If you need any more help feel free to PM me.

 

Stay good,

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