candykisses Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I am interested in the prevalence and meaning of chivalry in modern society...specifically in the act of opening CAR doors Guys, do you engage in this gesture? (when you're with a female, opening the car door for her so she can get in). If you do, do you do it for ALL females, or do you do it more with girls you have an interest in? Ladies, are you comfortable with this gesture? Or would you rather open your own door? Link to comment
Blue Streak Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Yes, I do. Interest does play role in that influence. Makes no sense these days to open doors for female friends who are typically self defendant. Times have changed. Link to comment
candykisses Posted April 4, 2009 Author Share Posted April 4, 2009 Would you say you do it when you're focused on making a good impression on a select girl? Haha I find this kind of stuff interesting. I have male friends who consistently open the car door for me as if they were brought up that way. I always just say "thank you" nonchalantly as if people open my car door for me all the time lol, even though I actually feel a little awkward inside, like I'm handicapped... I also have male friends whom act like it's never occurred to them to open it. I just got home from hanging out with a male acquaintance who opened all my doors for me tonight. And once again it peaked my interest... what can I say, I love boys with good manners Link to comment
Blue Streak Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Would you say you do it when you're focused on making a good impression on a select girl? Of course. Haha I find this kind of stuff interesting. I have male friends who consistently open the car door for me as if they were brought up that way. I always just say "thank you" nonchalantly as if people open my car door for me all the time lol, even though I actually feel a little awkward inside, like I'm handicapped... I also have male friends whom act like it's never occurred to them to open it. I just got home from hanging out with a male acquaintance who opened all my doors for me tonight. And once again it peaked my interest... what can I say, I love boys with good manners It really is just a part of life. It is as simple as you make it for yourself at this point. You seem confused and it is just hurting you. Frankly, times really have changed. The fact that your door is being opened everyday seems quite odd but good. Maybe you need figure out the deal. Are they marine core, army, air force, etc? Times really have changed but so what if you are being treated like a queen. Link to comment
Mr SIBLEY Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Always. Opening doors and having general respect for women. I even lay my coat in a puddle for ladies. Sometimes I will get a mouthful saying "I can do it myself" etc. I wouldn't feel offended by it, its a sign of respect. Link to comment
Yanet Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Always. Opening doors and having general respect for women. I even lay my coat in a puddle for ladies. Sometimes I will get a mouthful saying "I can do it myself" etc. I wouldn't feel offended by it, its a sign of respect. You can't be serious. It's not a sign of respect, it's a sign you think they're helpless and can't take care of themselves, so you have to act like some hero to protect them. Link to comment
Blue Streak Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Always. Opening doors and having general respect for women. I even lay my coat in a puddle for ladies. Sometimes I will get a mouthful saying "I can do it myself" etc. I wouldn't feel offended by it, its a sign of respect. I love it. Damn strait you will get a mouthful at some point. It is all perception. Link to comment
Blue Streak Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 You can't be serious. It's not a sign of respect, it's a sign you think they're helpless and can't take care of themselves, so you have to act like some hero to protect them. That is your perception amigo. That is not necessarily others reality. Link to comment
Mr SIBLEY Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 You can't be serious. It's not a sign of respect, it's a sign you think they're helpless and can't take care of themselves, so you have to act like some hero to protect them. No, I don't think they're helpless. That's how you want to take things then do so. But at the end of the day its a nice gesture. Besides, you'd have to truly be a cretin if you thought women were helpless. Chivalry isn't dead just yet. Link to comment
top bloke Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I open doors but not car doors. I saw a woman at work..in the rain trying to lift a huge box.I ran over gently edged in front and carried it to her office for her. I am not a sexist but this woman and most guys could not lift it. For me...I acknowledged this woman and my male good upbringing to go over and help. I knew this person btw. I feel there is a terrible lack of manliness in todays society. I think its refreshing and gives a sense of value to the woman....as a gentleman as a man who cares with humility Link to comment
psychoanalytical Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 It would depend on how much regard I have for the woman. If I think she is a nasty piece of work then I would not. If I think she is nice and kind and respectable then of course I would. I prefer to have an internal locus of control. Link to comment
COtuner Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I like it, personally. Although I don't like it when the guy slams the door of the car 5 times as hard as necessary - it's not good for the car, and it hurts my ears. Good manners in general seem to have disappeared in guys around here. I put it down to upbringing. It was the absolute worst I've ever seen when I lived in the Bay Area. I couldn't wait to leave. Link to comment
purpleduckie Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Only if they are disabled. this made me LOL out loud. i like good manners in general coming from both sexes... but it's not like i really notice these kind of things. mainly because i take it for granted and so the absence of it will rub me the wrong way - but i won't know why. i don't think i've had a guy open car doors for me though... or maybe they have and i didn't pay attention. now that i think about it, it's a little awkward. Link to comment
COtuner Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Wy is it awkward? I've had guys open doors for me my whole life. Even when I am driving myself, guys will come and open my door, and hold it for me until I'm inside. Maybe because I associate a lot with guys in their 40s or older? They seem polite and respectful for the most part (and many are ex-military, which I find to be a big plus) Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 A guy scores extra points with me if he opens the car door. Even though I can do it myself, I think some old time chivalry is really sweet. I blushed the first time a guy did that for me. Link to comment
coldplay. Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Does a guy opening a door actually build legitimate interest though, flatter and interest are two very different things. Link to comment
COtuner Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Does a guy opening a door actually build legitimate interest though, flatter and interest are two very different things. For me, lack of good manners will detract from interest in a guy. It would add if I was on the fence about a guy. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Does a guy opening a door actually build legitimate interest though, flatter and interest are two very different things. For me, yes. It shows that he is trying to impress me. I also think it's a sign of respect. Both of these are important to me. Link to comment
steelcitymstro Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I don't do the car door thing regularly, although maybe I should! My rule of thumb is that if we're going someplace nice enough that my wife has the whole skirt + vain shoes that look okay but are impossible to walk in ensemble, then I open the car door. I try to be chivalrous....maybe this one needs to be added back into the repertoire.... Link to comment
purpleduckie Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Wy is it awkward? I've had guys open doors for me my whole life. Even when I am driving myself, guys will come and open my door, and hold it for me until I'm inside. Maybe because I associate a lot with guys in their 40s or older? They seem polite and respectful for the most part (and many are ex-military, which I find to be a big plus) because it's just too out of the way. normal doors, yes, good points... but it doesn't really matter. car doors, he has to go over to mine, open it, wait for me to get in, close it then run to the other side. it's just unnecessary. i like polite people, but i don't need them to be excessively so. i like things like, if it's raining or if my shoes are impossible to walk in - which they are a lot of the time - he will let me wait and bring the car over. things like that matter more and actually makes sense. opening car doors just don't make sense to me... so it's kind of awkward.. respect come in a lot of forms. i prefer it when a guy treats me as an equal, like a buddy but still like a girl. Link to comment
COtuner Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 because it's just too out of the way. normal doors, yes, good points... but it doesn't really matter. car doors, he has to go over to mine, open it, wait for me to get in, close it then run to the other side. it's just unnecessary. i like polite people, but i don't need them to be excessively so. i like things like, if it's raining or if my shoes are impossible to walk in - which they are a lot of the time - he will let me wait and bring the car over. things like that matter more and actually makes sense. opening car doors just don't make sense to me... so it's kind of awkward.. respect come in a lot of forms. i prefer it when a guy treats me as an equal, like a buddy but still like a girl. I can go out for a group lunch with coworkers, and inevitably, a guy will walk me to my car, hold the door for me until I get in, say goodbye, and close the door after I've tucked myself in. I find that very polite and respectful and it makes me feel good. I also like the fact that they will walk accross the parking lot to make sure I am safely to my car. It's nice to know people care, even if they don't have to (I live in a pretty safe part of town) Link to comment
Clarity Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I do it for both friends and interests when it's not really awkward to do (i.e. I have to race them to the side of my car). Link to comment
lila... Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 My ex used to do it for me, I love chilvalry in a man so I really liked the gesture. He was older though, I don't know if it has anything to do with age, but I think it's more common in the older men to do this. My current boyfriend doesn't do this, I don't mind...although I'd still think it'd be really nice if he did. I agree with dragon lady, even though I can open my own car door, it's not about that...it's about those nice, chivalrous gestures that women like to receive. Link to comment
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