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POLL: MEN, do you open car doors for ladies?


candykisses

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A guy scores extra points with me if he opens the car door. Even though I can do it myself, I think some old time chivalry is really sweet. I blushed the first time a guy did that for me.

 

because it's just too out of the way. normal doors, yes, good points... but it doesn't really matter. car doors, he has to go over to mine, open it, wait for me to get in, close it then run to the other side.

 

it's just unnecessary. i like polite people, but i don't need them to be excessively so. i like things like, if it's raining or if my shoes are impossible to walk in - which they are a lot of the time - he will let me wait and bring the car over. things like that matter more and actually makes sense.

 

opening car doors just don't make sense to me... so it's kind of awkward..

 

 

respect come in a lot of forms. i prefer it when a guy treats me as an equal, like a buddy but still like a girl.

 

 

Haha I agree with BOTH of you... which is conflicted because when a guy opens the car door for me, I like it and dislike it at the same time, lol. I like it because I love people with good manners and common courtesy; I especially have a soft spot for guys who are gentlemen - shows good upbringing, imo. I dislike it and feel awkward because I am independent and I feel like this helpless princess who can't even raise a finger to open my own car door. It's also awkward when I don't have a romantic interest in the guy, 'cause then it feels more like a date when he does that, if we're just casually hanging out. Again, I always just act nonchalantly, which probably makes them think I have people opening my car door for me all the time lol.

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Are they marine core, army, air force, etc? Times really have changed but so what if you are being treated like a queen.

 

Haha by all means no, they are not marine or army They are all just college-aged students like myself, which only makes me appreciate the gesture more. I attribute it to good upbringing

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For me, yes. It shows that he is trying to impress me. I also think it's a sign of respect. Both of these are important to me.

 

Ideologically i believe you, but in reality how often do you date "nice" guys versus alpha males. Who are you more attracted to an alpha male or a nice guy.

 

Not saying that alpha males wont ever open the door, but they generally get women off the pedestal, so ill say its less likely.

 

When i do it, its natural ill hold the door for virtually anyone if they are reasonably within distance or im talking to them but as for it being a point i emphasis when on a date or what not, i dont think i really would, especially if i didnt know the person, thats a different story if i had been dating them for a bit, but it seems kind of odd i cant think of a better way to describe it, but thats all that comes to mind.

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Ideologically i believe you, but in reality how often do you date "nice" guys versus alpha males. Who are you more attracted to an alpha male or a nice guy.

 

Not saying that alpha males wont ever open the door, but they generally get women off the pedestal, so ill say its less likely.

 

Every guy I know who does this qualifies as an "alpha male" by ENA standards - the geeky guys around me never seem to do this stuff. My personal experience.

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Ideologically i believe you, but in reality how often do you date "nice" guys versus alpha males. Who are you more attracted to an alpha male or a nice guy.

 

Not saying that alpha males wont ever open the door, but they generally get women off the pedestal, so ill say its less likely.

 

When i do it, its natural ill hold the door for virtually anyone if they are reasonably within distance or im talking to them but as for it being a point i emphasis when on a date or what not, i dont think i really would, especially if i didnt know the person, thats a different story if i had been dating them for a bit, but it seems kind of odd i cant think of a better way to describe it, but thats all that comes to mind.

 

I date nice guys, but have had casual sex with alpha guys in the past. I'm definitely someone who likes nice guys.

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I date nice guys, but have had casual sex with alpha guys in the past. I'm definitely someone who likes nice guys.

 

I dont want my questions to be offensive, but in the past what has happened, whos won?

 

Nice guy relationship, love is great, a time of immense happiness, followed by times of immense sadness in the breakup, if not on your part but his aswell, followed by one party never wanting to see the other again.

 

What about casual sex with alpha men, as long as you arnt guilty from it, its positive on both ends his and yours, followed by an albeit awkward but sustainable casual relationship with them afterwards.

 

So what ends up happening, do you marry a nice guy (by ena's standards) or do you marry a reformed alpha male, id think the latter.

 

I also agree that every women wants to marry a nice guy, but then again every women gets with the alpha male more often that not, so i see a conflict in reality of it all.

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Ideologically i believe you, but in reality how often do you date "nice" guys versus alpha males. Who are you more attracted to an alpha male or a nice guy.

 

Not saying that alpha males wont ever open the door, but they generally get women off the pedestal, so ill say its less likely.

 

 

i would consider myself an alpha male, and I hold the door open for females. I think a lot of people have a messed up view what being alpha is all about, I am not even speaking of car doors since it depends on the female if I were to do this,but things like keeping the door open for the woman when she walks into a building.

 

being alpha is not all about being an a-hole, I can show my respect or love in several different ways and still manage to show her who is the dominant one simply by being confident; I do not need to show off or prove my macho behavior like many seem to try and accomplish.

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Does a guy opening a door actually build legitimate interest though, flatter and interest are two very different things.

 

I don't think so, in fact, it seems to bring slightly negative results more often than not today. Thinking about discontinuing it precisely because the type of behavior has become an issue, and it's not supposed to be even thought about, just done.

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I also feel nice openning doors for all women as I believe alot of modern society undervalues women today and its a nice gesture. Its a touch of gentlemanly acknowledgement that yes..I value the women of the world . That a woman still means something ...shes worth something...It doesnt matter if shes a porn star to a nun.

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Well, I'm single, so neither of them have won yet.

 

I have had both great relationships with nice guys and great casual sex with alpha guys. I wouldn't want to date an alpha because I don't like the macho attitude. It makes me roll my eyes. Give me a sweetheart who is perhaps a little less masculine than average and I'd be happy. In actual fact, I tent to be a little domineering in relationships and I quite like it that way. Alpha guys wouldn't be able to stand me for a minute.

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I also feel nice openning doors for all women as I believe alot of modern society undervalues women today and its a nice gesture. Its a touch of gentlemanly acknowledgement that yes..I value the women of the world . That a woman still means something ...shes worth something...It doesnt matter if shes a porn star to a nun.

 

What about those nuns I saw in that porno the other week?

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Well, I'm single, so neither of them have won yet.

 

I have had both great relationships with nice guys and great casual sex with alpha guys. I wouldn't want to date an alpha because I don't like the macho attitude. It makes me roll my eyes. Give me a sweetheart who is perhaps a little less masculine than average and I'd be happy. In actual fact, I tent to be a little domineering in relationships and I quite like it that way. Alpha guys wouldn't be able to stand me for a minute.

 

No offense to you what so ever, but i see alot of girls with that frame of mind. And honestly i cant stand the hypocrisy, alot of other guys on the forum have asked the same thing, and understanding what women want is the most difficult and frustrating thing ive ever dealt with.

 

Boy meets girl, boy is nice, they have a relationship that isnt "casual". Girl loses interest with boy for whatever reason, which happens so often, leaves boy for a more "alpha male", who more often than not doesnt want a long term relationship.

 

So what is it, why do women do this, it hurts so much when it happens that many men including myself see chivalry as dead because women dont deserve it. If i go out on a limb and do all the nice things, women just eventually lose interest and leave.

 

I dont even know how to view sex anymore, i dont know how anyone can stomach casual sex, maybe it is an alpha male thing, and maybe im just not one. Ive even had casual sex before, and now that i review it in my mind, i dont know what to think about it. How can someone have "good" casual sex and also desire a man that is nice. A women that wants both seems like an oxymoron in my mind. I just dont get what it is that women want.

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No offense taken. I just don't see what there isn't to understand. I like nice guys. I like chivalrous guys. These are the type of men I want to date. I don't lose interest! Sometimes when you're not ready for a relationship or a dry spell is happening, it's nice to enjoy a little physical pleasure. I know that I couldn't be emotionally attracted to a macho meathead, so they are often the type I seek for such encounters.

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Every woman is different, that's the thing guys keep refusing to understand. I personally have never had casual sex in my entire life because I need intimacy to enjoy sex. The physical simply doesn't do a whole lot for me without the oxytocin running rampant.

 

To me, a guy that has good manners and some chivalry is simply being a gentleman. I don't want to date men who are not gentlemen. Just like I go through the routine of wearing dresses and heels and spending thousands of dollars in my lifetime on haircuts and makeup and clothing to look good for guys because that is what most guys seem to expect from women. I really would rather spend that money on something more useful and less painful than 4 inch heels and push up bras, but hey, I understand that guys respond to a woman trying to look her best for him.

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I am interested in the prevalence and meaning of chivalry in modern society...specifically in the act of opening CAR doors

 

Guys, do you engage in this gesture? (when you're with a female, opening the car door for her so she can get in).

 

If you do, do you do it for ALL females, or do you do it more with girls you have an interest in?

 

 

Ladies, are you comfortable with this gesture? Or would you rather open your own door?

 

Car doors, no - at least not often. Every other door, yes. And I open doors for ALL females, especially little old grannys

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No, I never open car doors. That (to me) is over the top and ridiculous and I would feel idiotic doing it because it just seems WAYYYYY too staged (other things included in this list are first date gifts, spilling your guts on the first date, etc.). I laugh because I know a lot of the guys that pay attention to these kinds of things are some of the biggest idiots/tail-chasers that I know, and it's so easy to manipulate some women when you play the chivalry card (their reasoning is that sleeping with a perceived "gentleman" early on is so much easier for them to do). If I'm entering/leaving a restaurant, I will open and hold the door for you if you're right behind me REGARDLESS of gender.

 

I don't know, I see some of these guys break into a half-trot to get to the door first just so they can display "chivalry," and that kinda stuff makes me want to carry around a barf bag. I think the focus should be on other things.

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Good post! Most guys aren't opening car doors because they have good manners[i wonder if these same guys open car doors for there mothers]they are doing it as a form of manipulation,''this will really impres her''.It is one thing to be polite but opening car doors is so phoney and stagey.

 

Not the guys I know. Married guys also open my doors for me and walk me to the car when we are out at business lunches or whatever. I still think it's upbringing and the culture you live in each day. When I lived in some areas, no one opened a door for me. In San Francisco, the guys seemed to take a perverse pleasure in pushing to get ahead of me and then closing the door in my face, especially one certain ethnic group for some weird reason.

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Not the guys I know. Married guys also open my doors for me and walk me to the car when we are out at business lunches or whatever. I still think it's upbringing and the culture you live in each day. When I lived in some areas, no one opened a door for me. In San Francisco, the guys seemed to take a perverse pleasure in pushing to get ahead of me and then closing the door in my face, especially one certain ethnic group for some weird reason.
I was strictly referring to opening car doors.If you were behind me in a bank or something I would open the door for you,regardless if I found you attractive or not.
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