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I'm back with her but what's next?


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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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I'm back with her but she does not seems to be committed at all.... It is damn frustrating, but the good points are we knew where we are heading, in the sense of marriage and future stuffs and the sex are definitely much better now comparing to before we broke off....

 

She seems to had so many plans without me, like holidays with frens and outings with them. She told me that the plans was made during our break up period, she don't feel like pulling out halfway. She think this kinda enjoyment in life is a need.

 

She seems to have little time for me, which is frustrating, i had the mindset that we should spend more time together and trying our best to keep this relationship on track again....

 

I'm confused, what should i do? Btw before the break up we've been together for 5 years plus, then our break up period last around 2-3 months.

 

But what the next most intelligent and wise move should i make? I really wants this relationship to work... But i felt i need 2 party to works it up. Or i'm i just suddenly become so insecure caused by the break up? I'm confused...

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If you two are talking about marriage and a future together yet she doesn't seem to have time for you, I would not go anywhere near marriage with her. I can understand not breaking prior travel plans and that she does need to socialize with her friends...but she also needs to spend time with you.

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Did you break up with her or did she break up witih you? What caused the break up? And how are you both working on each other to resolve the problem(s) that caused the break-up?

 

We broke of cos she thinks i don't really care for her, i don't like to msg or call her or even try to inform her where i'm going..... She wants to get married, i wants to stablize my career first..... So now all i'm trying to suit her... But she say now i'm changing too drastically, she need to adapt to the new me, she wants to gain the confidence she had lost in me slowly....

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We broke of cos she thinks i don't really care for her, i don't like to msg or call her or even try to inform her where i'm going..... She wants to get married, i wants to stablize my career first..... So now all i'm trying to suit her... But she say now i'm changing too drastically, she need to adapt to the new me, she wants to gain the confidence she had lost in me slowly....

 

It doesn't sound like the reason for the break up has been resolved. Maybe you were acting too independent for her liking, but you're changing for her, not because of some internal motivation. Though well-intentioned, a change like that is probably not going to last very long.

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It doesn't sound like the reason for the break up has been resolved. Maybe you were acting too independent for her liking, but you're changing for her, not because of some internal motivation. Though well-intentioned, a change like that is probably not going to last very long.

 

I dun really noes, i had a hard time trusting her now.... I don't know the excuses she gave me for the break up is really it? But at least i'm trying, don't wanna live in regrets.... I can see she's trying too when meeting up with me, but now she's trying to act independent i think? hahaz...

 

But think i just gonna keep my cool and see how it goes.... Hope it goes well, i'm kinda monitoring her.... Everyday i felt the disappointment i had in her.... As advised by my gal friends, they says soon it will get better and soon i felt comfortable around her once again, i don't know what lies ahead of my life... But right now, i just don't feel like giving up yet.... But it's hurtful, but maybe no pain, no love....

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I found out 1 thing, i cant love her anymore.... I dunno y, at the back of my mind, my respect for her has all gone.... She just another * * * * * / * * * * to me now.... I'm doing her every demands, the issues she had with me leading to the break-up.... She kinda pleased with that.... But i am kinda confused with this whole nightmare....

 

Really wants views on my situation, i cried just now on the way home from work when passing by our old school where we met each other and fell in love... All those things seems to be taken lightly by her.... I don't feel appreciated at all since the time she decided to broke it off....

 

I'm having a hard time picking it all upz... :sad:

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