Only intimacy with ex

[Girl wants EX]

My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago, and we have been in LC since.

Both of us haven't dated anybody. I tried to reconciliate as I still like him a lot and I also felt he still has feelings on me, or passion.

 

Anyway, we met 10 days ago and we flirted during the meeting. I thought we were about getting back together as the signals from him were confusing me. But later on I found that he wasn't sincere enough. I believe he likes me more than any girl else (as it's very obvious that he doesn't have anyone else in his life for this moment), but not in love with me. One of the reasons that I can't make him falling in love with me, that is I never allow time and space for him to miss me. I have been chasing him all the time.

 

Last week, somehow we became intimate and kind of started a casual relationship. We both agreed it was just casual, no feeling involved, and actually I don't even care anymore if it will work out with him or not. I basically gave up already.

But he confused me in the way that he organized a dinner and a movie after we had s** (that is how I found out that he hasn't been to the DVD place in the past 40 days, that is how I knew he hasn't dated anybody, as he always rented a DVD everytime I went to his place). He even refused me to share the bill for our dinner. So he invested like 50 bucks for a casual thing?? and he served me all the time, like asking me what I'd like to eat, what I'd like to drink, if there is anything else I wanted...etc. Just like the 1st date!

All night long we laughed, cuddled, held hands tightly(in the room also on the street), lots of kiss, he initiated most of that, he was like the sweet boyfriend again...Well I am not too affected by his actions, as I lost trust in his actions and words after what happened before. No high expections. He is that kind of guy says more than actually he is. Kind of evil man. But to some extent, I believed he did those as he still likes me and wanted to please me.

 

Since the atmosphere of that night was so good, I sent him a text the next day proposing that we could do it again later this week (somewhere underlying in my mind still wants to attract him to be in love with me), I was confident that he also enjoyed the time with me, and if we spent more time together we might have the chance to get to know each other more and develop the relationship (we only dated 1.5 months before). But he turned all cold again... he wasn't very friendly when he replied: Sorry this week is impossible, will contact you as soon as I have time.

 

Not sure I will ever meet him again in the future. I learned a lot from this relationship though.

[stickman]

]...I also felt he still has feelings on me' date=' or passion.[/b']

 

...I thought we were about getting back together as the signals from him were confusing me. ....I believe he likes me more than any girl else

....I never allow time and space for him to miss me. I have been chasing him all the time.

 

You cant know what he wants. For now you MUST back off and be your own best friend and get busy with other things and try not to think about him, what he is doing or who is with. It would only be a guess and a waste of your time.

 

It is very hard to back away, but that is what is best and you already know that.

 

Hang in there!!

[HeartGoesOn]

As long as you settle for a dinner, and a booty call from him every now and then, this is exactly what you'll get, and nothing more.

 

If you really and truly want to get back into a real relationship, you need to make it clear that you'll settle for nothing less. You also need to show that you mean it by refusing to just get together unless it means to talk about the relationship, and nothing more.

[serenity84]

I am taking a break with my bf. I have been there. For six month, we were back and forth. Whenever i see him, he treats me like princess, he got medicine for me 4am in the morning, cook for me, taking dinner for 100 bucks. I know he loves me whenever he look at me and he told me I am the best looking girl ever he saw, but dont fall for them. You still have to keep your dignity and dont sleep with him unless he wants to come back with you. He will take advantage of you, its not like he doesnt love you or like you. I am sure, he does but since you are available to him make you less attractive and eventually it will fade out. Right now, we are place where we can't feel anything to each other, we loved each other so much that everyone envied us. If it wasn't me who accepts him over and over instead play hard to get, I think he would come back long time ago. I think before too late, just concentrate on yourself and don't contact him.

 

I am going through NC right now while we are taking a break. It is so hard, but just think this is better off than letting him to have me whenever he wants to.

 

I wish you good luck!

[Girl wants EX]

Serenity84, we are really in the same position.

He also said I'm the most beautiful girl in town, bla blah...

 

Are you sure if you back off, he will miss you? I'm not confident in my case...I think before I back off, I need to increase his feelings and memories for me, as we didn't spend much time together. Now it seems we are more compatible than ever. I have changed and interacted with him in a better way (when we started dating, I wasn't good...I didn't date any guy for 1 year before him, I kind of lost the skill of flirting and attracting men).

 

Besides, I am also playing a game with him, I am not too serious about this relationship for the moment, as I might move to the city 2 hours driving from where we are now, so: Without expectation, I won't lose; Without expectation, I can be much stronger than before. He will see that I care about him much less, as it's the truth. I don't think pretending I get over him that can last, he will find out from my eyes if it isn't what it looks like.

I was hurt and so shocked when he broke up with me, not because I loved him (I never cried for the break up), only because he said so many nice things and treated me so well, I set my expectations way too high.

 

Yes, I admit that I'm still very attracted by him, and I want to spend more time with him, I miss him when he is not around; but, I also know that if he doesn't stay, he is just not the One, and I need to move on to find the right person instead of wasting time on the wrong guy. However, I look at my case in a positive way: my life becomes more interesting when there is an attractive guy in it.

Seriously, I found it's harder to like someone when getting older (or more mature).

[Anusha]

I was doing the same as you,meaning having sex with my ex.I stoped it now,I know it fells good and so on but it just isnt right.He went out of the relationship so he not suposed to be getting the benefits.Plus if you want to get back with him I think that will work the other way around,if he can get what he wants from you without being in a relationship why he will want to go back to it?

[Girl wants EX]

My case is a bit different compared with most of yours. You guys post here mostly for a few years relationships...Mine only lasted for 1.5 months.

I never had a real relationship with my ex, we were dating but he ended it before we got serious as I became too demanding too soon and took him for granted. He was turned off.

 

I am not being humble here, but I was bad in starting a relationship with a guy. My relationships in the past were too easy for me, I never needed to work hard to get any of them. My ex-ex or ex-ex-ex, they needed me. This one is hard to get as he doesn't need me, he is pround and he is confident he will find someone he truly wants.

 

In fact I practise my skills with him in interacting with a guy. Maybe he won't never come back, but I don't care that much, as I will take him as a stepping-stone to find my true love. (I never stop looking around for new dates.) But if it turns out there is a future with him, that will be delightful. Afterall I always prepare myself to terminate everything with him someday.

[Girl wants EX]

More inputs are welcome!