What if he was to contact me..............

[britgirl]

Hi guys,

 

Well I am on Day 15 of the "60 day no contact rule" and I NEVER EVER thought I could make it this far but I have and I did!! And I am soooo proud of myself...............

 

Now I have read where *if* the other person contacts you - you are supposed to keep the conversation light and brief and end it at about the 8 minute mark.........now just say *if* (big if) my ex was to contact me..............I know, I know, I shouldn't just be hanging on in there hoping, but a part of me still is ...........what would/should I say?? Somebody asked this same question in a group I am on today, and it got me to thinking............

 

What if he says - why have you blocked me off your MSN and Yahoo Messengers, I still love you, blah blah blah...........because the only way he has left to contact me now is by phone (we were in a long distance relationship - different countries too just to make it even worse) just my thoughts.............I am 99% sure he won't - sorry but I can't quite douse that flame that still flickers........what are your thoughts on this? You guys are a LOT younger than me - but you are a lot smarter than me when it comes to this whole dating/relationship scene, mine ended in the 1970's when I married my first boyfriend (now my ex-husband)!!! Don't laugh - there is still life in us oldies, but hey we can be as silly as some teenagers and definitely not as wise as some of you young guys on here!! But you know age is just an attitude and a number - I downloaded the Beyonce Knowles CD yesterday....oops probably not supposed to admit to that, anyway it was on the recommendation of somebody from a Yahoo group I am on who told us to listen out for a track called Me, Myself and I.....such a beautiful song.......be your OWN best friend.

 

Looking for advice from all ...............Britgirl

OK OK I know I am not a girl but I couldn't have Britmiddleagedwoman as my nickname could I!!

 

 

[sckoobs]

Just talk about events in your life that he would not know of. Make it sound exciting but be honest - don't make something up. If you can't think of anything then get out and do something that is exciting! Its will help you take your mind off things... when I need time out I go snowboarding, all the fresh air and fast velocities can really clear my head. When I leave I am refreshed and thinking clearly... it also reminds me how fun life can be.

 

As for the msn messenger thing, just don't log in. If you have to, to talk to other friends on line or something then set your status to offline or hidden or something... I'm sure that option exists. Blocking seems like an extreme measure to me, it kind of suggests that you want nothing to do with him. You could even log in and just not chat to him until he initiates something, if you find that you are short on options.

[raggamuffin]

Blocking him is a good idea if it is going to keep you from sticking to your no contact rule. Trust me you will feel really bad if you do contact him no matter what shape or form it is in. If he does contact you this is a toughy and probably easier said than done (Im saying from the point of view of being 100% over an ex and wishing this was what I had done!!) Tell him that you would like to have some space and you dont think that talking to him is a good idea right now. I know its hard to say and I know that I never said it because I was afraid of losing him for good if I said it. But Im sure if I did say it getting over him would have been easier. If you are a chicken like me Just be polite dont go into too much detail about your life and make out like your ok about not being with him. Dont admit or deny to him about blocking him from mesenger, just say you havent been online recently. I hope this is useful advice. Best of luck R.

[britgirl]

Thanks for your advice guys and you know IF (big IF) he does get in touch, well I will say something like.........nope I haven't blocked you off my MSN or Yahoo Messenger, just haven't been online too much lately - even if he does know I am ALWAYS online with my Broadband setup and he does know my dayum daily routine far toooo much!!

 

I *did* try the blocking/unblocking, the pathetic emails and phone calls...cards on the table - I Love You stuff and all that ...........sad huh? Can even happen at my age

 

That is why I am on the 60 day no contact thing..........and I AM getting stronger.......and it *is* a two way street right? Nothing to stop him phoning or emailing me............but he doesn't/hasn't so that should tell me something. Those rose-coloured glasses are right off!!

 

Anyway guys I am hanging in there.........thanks for your support

 

Britgirl on Day 16

 

[raggamuffin]

no way girl what you do after a break up isnt sad its just apart of the healing process no matter how old. and another thing, you are never to old to fall in love dont forget that. let us know how you go. all the best, R.

[britgirl]

I am on day 29 and this is pure hell..........why doesn't he contact me...........he knows my phone number and all my email addresses, why I am the one here feeling like s**t...................

 

Britgirl