avalon24 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Last night I went out to the bar to see some bands play live, this guy who used to work there was working there again. When he worked there last spring and summer he used to always watch me when I was there, but never speak to me. This is mostly before the shows start, and in between bands, as well as after the show during clean up. I am always with a guy. Not sure if I would want to talk to him, so I have never started talking to him, just wonder why he notices and watches me, especially since he doesn't talk to me either. Also, after the first few times of going there he stopped checking my ID, didn't last night either, it has been since August since he has worked a show I was at. Just a little confused by his behavior and would like some insight. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 From my own personal experience...don't waste your time considering guys who look but don't act. While there may be interest (watching someone signifies that there is some interest), if they don't act on it then it is a moot point. Look for someone who has the courage to act, not just watch. Link to comment
Be happy D Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Shy, doesn't want to lose his job, thinks you're out of his league, already involved with someone. So many possibilities. Either try talking to him or don't, I'd go with the later option. Link to comment
laisla Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 he's probably not checking your ID cause he recognizes you, hence no need to re-check. he has seen you with other guys before so he may think you're involved. why not go up and talk to him? Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 From my own personal experience...don't waste your time considering guys who look but don't act. While there may be interest (watching someone signifies that there is some interest), if they don't act on it then it is a moot point. Look for someone who has the courage to act, not just watch.Obviously you aren't attracted to shy guys.That guy ''watching'' might be the best thing that ever happened to this girl.If you are attracted to him OP why not initiate a conversation and see what happens. Link to comment
laisla Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Obviously you aren't attracted to shy guys.That guy ''watching'' might be the best thing that ever happened to this girl.If you are attracted to him OP why not initiate a conversation and see what happens. ^ true. i'd go and talk to a guy if i felt like it, i like the semi-shy ones. Link to comment
ProtestTheHero Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Yeah, I wouldn't even consider myself shy, but if you ALWAYS show up with a guy I'm going to assume you're spoken for. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 If you are with a guy i am not surprised he isn't talking to you. If a guy does find a girl attractive he isn't going to come hit on her when she is with a guy, even if it isn't your b/f. He is not a mind reader. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 From my own personal experience...don't waste your time considering guys who look but don't act. While there may be interest (watching someone signifies that there is some interest), if they don't act on it then it is a moot point. Look for someone who has the courage to act, not just watch. She is always with a guy tho. A gentleman is not going to go up and talk to some chick at the bar with another guy. If he did come and try to hit on her, i'd think that he was sleazy. Not to mention he works there. He might want to keep his job. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Obviously you aren't attracted to shy guys.That guy ''watching'' might be the best thing that ever happened to this girl.If you are attracted to him OP why not initiate a conversation and see what happens. Actually, I have been...I understood that they were shy guys and I did try to initiate...I got totally trounced for my efforts. I have had it happen to me countless times...the guys who look, show interest by how they watch you but in the end, don't act...and when you try to initiate with them they blow you off. I have never had a good experience with "shy guys" because in the end, they had not qualms about showing their interest to someone else...they somehow overcame their "shyness" with someone else. As for the OP, well, if she is always with a guy then I agree he probably thinks she is taken...and she will have to initiate something. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Actually, I have been...I understood that they were shy guys and I did try to initiate...I got totally trounced for my efforts. I have had it happen to me countless times...the guys who look, show interest by how they watch you but in the end, don't act...and when you try to initiate with them they blow you off. I have never had a good experience with "shy guys" because in the end, they had not qualms about showing their interest to someone else...they somehow overcame their "shyness" with someone else. THis i do agree with. I just think the guy in question is not approaching her as she states she is always with a guy when she sees him. I can't imagine why she would even EXPECT that he would approach her given he is a staff member AND she always has a guy with her. He'd be crazy to hit on her. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Actually, I have been...I understood that they were shy guys and I did try to initiate...I got totally trounced for my efforts. I have had it happen to me countless times...the guys who look, show interest by how they watch you but in the end, don't act...and when you try to initiate with them they blow you off. I have never had a good experience with "shy guys" because in the end, they had not qualms about showing their interest to someone else...they somehow overcame their "shyness" with someone else. As for the OP, well, if she is always with a guy then I agree he probably thinks she is taken...and she will have to initiate something.That's unfortunate,but I have tried to make eye contact with a woman ,in the hopes it might show my interest and they might approach.By now,I realize for the most part it isn't going to work.Most women are not going to approach. Link to comment
avalon24 Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 One, I don't have a problem with shy guys, I myself am shy, I can talk to people just getting started is hard. Two, he talks to people, male and female, so he doesn't appear to be shy, but might be. He won't clean off the table we are at, unless it is full either. and as far as him being at work, I don't expect him to "hit" on me for that very reason, I understand he could possible get into trouble for that, but I also know that place. It is layed back, and one of the reasons it is the top club in the area for shows. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Like a bigizillion other people have already said, he probably assumes you're taken. Remember that when you show up at a place with another guy or guys. Men have no way of distinguishing between brothers, cousins, friends, or lovers. If a guys is sitting next to you or accross from you, we think you are in a relationship. I am telling you to give this guy a chance because you're showing some interest in him by making a post about it. Maybe show up with some female friends and try to open him up. Smile and be nice. Try not to look at your female friends too much when or after he says something. Many girls have missed out on opportunities to know me because they assumed I was too shy to say something and got mad and began ignoring me or walking away to try to make it look like THEY rejected ME. In reality I was busy doing something else and/or had not previously seen them. LADIES: If you want the man to take the lead, let him do it. That simple. For me personally, any woman that assumes I'm shy before having a real conversation with me will indeed never have me talking to them. I'm the man, so I will try to take the lead ASAP. Link to comment
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