she Is Being 2 Faced

[just_smile]

Hey all

Instead of giving advice today I would really like some, you see one of my closest friends [ill call her Emma] well we have know each other for like 13 years, nearly our whole life. Recently we haven't been able to talk to each other and this is really bothering me. She has started to get in with the 'in' crowd, and I think it has kind of gone to her head. Its like this, when we are talking and one of the 'more' popular people walk past she doesn't really pay any attention to us, her whole body language changes, she turns her back to us and acts as if she is really great and that were just some lil minute thing which doesn't matter, if she talks to them, then she'll totally forget the conversation we were having and start one with them and as soon as they have gone she tries to regain the one we were have before hand and act all normal, but its not right?

 

The reason this is really getting to me so much is, not that I am jealous because id rather be myself and true to my friends than someone who is popular, the reason is because she fell out with one of her old friends for doing the exact same thing to her, awhile back, she doesn't realize that she is doing though that's the problem. I don't know what I should do; do I tell her she is being so two faced? Or what?

 

Today we were all at lunch, we normally meet up on Fridays because we have it at the same time, but today she comes into dinner late with some people from the 'in' crowd, looks at us and then walks straight past us as if we were nothing to her.

 

I just know that if she continues like this and we don't sort it out and the 'in' crowd drop her then by that time we'll not be there to pick her up again and she wont have any one and she'll be all alone and that's not what I want.

 

Do I talk to her about? But how with out there being a really big argument? Help.

 

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, i mainly needed to vent but any advice or opinions are welcome.

 

~LJ =;

[vfunkera]

hey LJ,

 

I've been through this before, although im a guy so i don't know whether the reactions and stuff would be different. There are a lot of ways to approach this one, and none of them are easy.

 

At the end of the day, you will be a true friend, and she will eventually learn that. They often say, and i should know, that you'll see just how true your friends are when you go through a time of need. This is especailly true when hanging with people 'in the crowd'- the posers. When she does fall and these people scatter, she will realise who she needs to turn to and stay with. And unfortunately, all you can do is let her experience this herself.

 

The people you hang around with and friends you choose are the type people you want to be associated with. She obviously wants to be an 'in the crowd' person, so you can't force them to change their behaviour and who they should want to hang around with more. She will learn by herself individually who her real friends are, you simply have to be there and pick her up.

 

Talk? You could mention it but thats as far as i would go. Anything more like a follow up and it would lead to an eventual argument, and just like she fell out with her old friend for 'posing', so will you probably fall out for her 'posing', despite what your intentions for her are. She will learn in time, and when she does, pick her up like the good friend you are.

 

Good luck

[Emotional]

tell her what u told us..it will work make her feel sorry and see what she does..be real with her tho..tell her u knwo what? ive been knowin u for the longest time now and me and all the girls think u are changeing and it seems like ur more into ur new friends who probley will drop u if u mess up once..but us..We always have been there for u and we always stick up for u when ppl talk crap bout you.. say something like that..be like i understand u have other friends but it dont mean u can treat us like junk ya kno?>

see what she has to say then

[just_smile]

hey guys thanks for responding

 

i think that i will have to either talk to her or just be there for her when / if they do drop her. i think she knows that i am not happy with her. ill just have to see what happens tomorrow when i see her.

 

thanks again

~LJ =;

[sphinx999]

Well LJ, hasn't that other friend redeemed herself and given up trying to be something she's not. I think emma will do the same things haven't been easy for her and people need time to take a breath sometimes. Maybe people are already wary of her because they know she is two faced and talks behind their backs.

My advice is just have fun and relax, go for a walk or have a game of a sport or something. JUst let her come round.

Caz

ps Apparently she thinks we have all fallen out with her and doesn't know how to speak to us. We are rather fortified. Pm me about it if u want details.

[just_smile]

Hey

Yeh caz she may have her own problems (I know they're big) but she doesn't take the time to realise other people have their problems too, she likes to be the center of attention if you hadn't noticed, its always my problem this, my problem that, my flaming problem!

 

I too have problems but I don't put them on other people because I know they have their own and they don't need mine weighing them down. So maybe if she did take that time to breathe then she would realise that other people have their problems and that they cant handle her's at the mo, especially with the way she is being right now ok!

 

And if she does realise that they are talking behind her back and that she is being two faced then why does she still do it? Wouldn't she rather have real friends that she can rely on than ones that don't even care?

 

oh and the just come round thing, yeh right, shes too stuborn to come round and i dont think its my turn to, do you? (remember what she said)

and what are the details?

 

~LJ =;