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Two part problem, need help.


MikeyD
How To Tell Someone You Like Them (...
How To Tell Someone You Like Them (Without Screwing Up)

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So I have two problems, and they coincide with each other that's why I made only one post.

 

There is this girl in my class and I think she is really pretty, definitely my type.So, ever since the first day in class, We've sat right next to each other. First day, we had a little group work in class and we spoke a little in the group then after we went back to our seats,I made her laugh a little. THATS IT. That's practically all I have said to her and she sits next to me every class. To give u an example, I could be sitting down, and usually there is a seat open to both my sides, and even if they are a bunch of open seats in front or behind me, she'll sit next to me. I don't know if that's a "telling sign" or if that's just her favorite seat (because I sat next to her the first day and she was sitting in that same seat). I have contemplated talking to her but my shyness is getting the best of me. I WANT to go for it but shyness and problem #2 stop me. Which leads me to...

 

Problem #2

I have these 'fear' of approaching women/ going for it. I have been rejected before, and dumped by my exs so I feel that its not a 'fear of rejection' that is stopping. I think that its a fear of actually trying because if I fail, then I can't make up an excuse why I failed. Also, every pretty girl I like and want to talk to, I ALWAYS psych myself out by saying "Oh, she probably has a boyfriend, she's too pretty/hot to be single." I guess that is a defensuve mechanism so I won't approach so I won't have to try and possibly fail...Anyways, I seriously need help as I want to talk to her and its been almost 2 months since I made her laugh a little on the first day, Thanks

 

Edit: I think I sometimes 'catch' her sometimes looking at me or 'mirroring' but I'm not sure. I always twirl my pen and one time I saw her twirling her pen with my peripheral even though I had stopped. Also I think we've made eye contact before but not sure cuz when I look at her and she looks at me, I look away so I don't know if its eye contact or if she's looking in my general direction. Thanks again

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The thing harming you in this situation is the pressure you're putting on yourself to view simple talk as a dealbreaker instead of just ...talk. Maybe you could try pretending she's just a guy you have a class in common with, and crack a remark here and there. This way, she can either respond or just smile, and you're off the hook either way. By the time the semester is close to over, you'll have shared a few laughs and you might feel more inclined to tell her you'd like to stay in touch. Then ask for her number.

 

In your corner.

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