what happens during "a break"

[thistime]

If you and your BF/GF mutually decide to "take a break"...and then one or the other has a sexual encounter with someone else.....are you still willing to consider taking the person back and discontinuing the break...like no big deal? Or does it depend on how long the break is? Is the purpose of a break to see if other peopl interest you, or if you miss your BF/GF sooo much, that you want them back. is "a break" really just a nice way of saying "break up."

[uofagirl]

Well, when taking a break I'd think you'd lay some things out before doing so. Like whether or not you will see other people, sleep with other people and etc.

 

My husband and I took a break while we were dating and in doing so we agreed that it was just about space. That we'd still be together, which meant we wouldn't see other people. But we would take a small break from one another.

 

It lasted about 2 weeks.

[wayoverit]

Sounds like this isn't a real "break up" but more of a "time out" to see who misses who more. That's just a silly game for immature people. I think people should consider a break up harder that will save a lot of innocent couples from screwing up a normal relationship going through it's normal course of building trust and finding the "soulmate" they have always dreamt about.

[Rabican]

I think I would tell my partner to take a hike if they use 'a break' as a means to 'hook up' with someone else.

 

Thats a load of crap, and a horrible excuse to screw someone else. Unless of course you take the break with the express intent and both partners knowing that it will involve seeing other people.

 

However, saying hey I need to take a break, take some time to myself etc. etc. then sleeping with other people is completely dishonest, classless, etc.

[dreamwarrior]

I think I would tell my partner to take a hike if they use 'a break' as a means to 'hook up' with someone else.

 

Thats a load of crap, and a horrible excuse to screw someone else. Unless of course you take the break with the express intent and both partners knowing that it will involve seeing other people.

 

However, saying hey I need to take a break, take some time to myself etc. etc. then sleeping with other people is completely dishonest, classless, etc.

 

I totally agree...that was well said!! A load of BS. That is just an excuse to sleep around with others and then if things get sour say to your partner "oh let's get back together now" or some load of cr*p.

 

You either want to be with me and work on our problems or good bye...I don't have time for games!

[loulee]

If you and your BF/GF mutually decide to "take a break"...and then one or the other has a sexual encounter with someone else.....are you still willing to consider taking the person back and discontinuing the break...like no big deal? Or does it depend on how long the break is? Is the purpose of a break to see if other peopl interest you, or if you miss your BF/GF sooo much, that you want them back. is "a break" really just a nice way of saying "break up."

A break is about what you and your partner want it to be...It should have stated boundaries of what you both expect before you decide to have a break..You should already have discussed what "your break" means to both of you.. so that you are fully aware of any consequences...I personally fail to see how sleeping with other people while on a break addresses ANY issues about your own relationship and more often than not it brings with it hurt feelings, distrust, jealousy etc... and IF these things were already present expect them to get worse if you reconcile

[huskiesfan]

If you and your SO are on a "break", that means you two acknowledge that you need some time apart to work on the issues in your relationship. If the other person uses this opportunity to sleep around with other people, how is that working on the issues?

 

To me, that sends a message of, "I don't truly want to work on the issues, I want this break so I can see/sleep with other people while being free of any feelings of attachment to you."

 

If I was dating someone and we took a break and they decided to sleep with someone else, I would be extremely wary about taking them back, because you never know if feelings will develop between them and the other person.