Why am I thinking that way?

[Hunney Pooh]

We have been together for almost 11 months. Even though it's just a short period of time but we have been through many problems and brought them to solutions together. There was a case where he has been disloyal to me but we managed to solve it. Another case was my mum's objection to be with him again after the first case. However, we eventually managed to overcome all those problems and be together again.

 

He promised to change and at the moment things are all going on quite well. As a result of him being disloyal to me during the first case, I've become a sensitive person. I understand that there must be trust in two person in order to have a lasting relationship and I've been telling myself not to be too sensitive but I just can't do it.

 

I'll easily feel jealous whenever he contact with girls through phone or even emails without informing me. I'll bring the matter up and we will quarrel. Everytime he'll explain that it's a small matter but what I want is for him to inform me and that's all. I know if this situation carries on,

he'll fed up one day. I love him too much to lose him and I know he loves me that much too but I really can't change myself anymore. I've tried but I failed.

 

At this moment we are still together but I plan to avoid him. I'll wait until the time when I miss and love him less, I'll end this relationship with him. I don't know why I think this way. I just know that one day he will fed up with me on my sensitiveness and I know this relationship is not healthy anymore. Please give me some advises and is there any alternative that I can take? Is there any way that I can still change? Please suggest.

[Jessi13077]

I dont know how much of advice this will be but....

i was once in love with the greatest guy ive ever met he could put up with some stuff and he still loved me nomatter how immature and spoiled I was. But he was never unloyal to me, but i was still highly sensetive and emotional and I didn't want to give him space and i lost him.

if your sensitive thats you you can try and wokr on it but with him being unloyal to you theres that part of you that will never forgive him or trust him for it. Just do what you think will make you happy

[Xandra]

You seem to think that that the way things are going are YOUR FAULT. He should be spending his time making things up to you if he cheated. That's how it works if someone is actually kind enough to give you a second chance after an infidelity.

 

I think you need to accept that there is part of you that is just NEVER going to trust him ever again. After this type of thing happens ONCE, it's always going to be on the back of your mind unless he does so much ass-kissing and explaining every little thing he does. Do you really think he's going to put forth that much effort to prove that he won't do it again?

 

Infidelity is something that usually, one way or another, breaks people up. It's the only thing that I can vouch is totally irreversible. Stop beating yourself up for "being sensitive", it's not your fault, but it is your fault if you stick around and let it happen again.

 

If you have doubts that he's going to do it again over time, I would say that breaking things off slowly is probably the best way to go about things. Try to get him out of your system for a while.