First post in a while, looking for some advice

[kevin456]

Well ENA, I am back after a short hiatus. I used to frequent these forums when the break-up was fresh, and for months after, and I found that it only hindered my progress and allowed me to dwell on the situation when I should have been moving forward. So I took a break, and low and behold I have returned.

 

You can look at my old posts if you want the full history of my situation, but here is the long and short of it: We broke up in September, I tried to get back together a couple times, eventually I said F this and I've been NC since the start of 2009. She's in high school and I'm in college, so NC hasn't really been all that difficult to keep.

 

I have returned to ENA because I know how knowledgeable you all are and I know I always got good advice from my fellow posters. Here is the current situation. I've gotten to a point where I am happy with myself again, a point that seemed unreachable in October. I've got my swagger back after it took a big hit, and it feels good. I'm pretty happy with where I am considering where I was not so long ago.

 

I'm home for spring break, and will be in her town for a few days after I return from a weekend get-away in the Caribbean. I am thinking about visiting my old high school band class, which I still have a lot of friends in. She, of course, is in that class and would be impossible to avoid.

 

Some reasons why I'm considering not going: It might be awkward seeing her again, and I unfriended all of her friends on facebook, most of which are in the band, so it might be a little awkward seeing them again or explaining why I unfriended them. I mean I could pull it off no problem and still be happy and confident, so I'm not really worried about that. Also everyone says how important NC is, and if I visited I would essentially be breaking it.

 

Here are some reasons for wanting to visit: To show her how good I look (not to be arrogant, but I whitened my teeth and worked on my smile, started hitting the gym, and I've gotten my confidence back which is half the battle as you all know), to show her that I'm happy and that she can't bring me down, and maybe to put an idea of me as a possible future love interest back in her mind (haven't ruled out breaking NC by the time summer rolls around). Also of course I would be visiting to say hello to those old friends which I've lost contact with since I went to college.

 

Another option would be bagging this visit, continuing NC and seeing where that takes me. Part of me thinks I'm posting here just so you guys can tell me that it's a stupid idea. But another part of me really wants to go, to prove to myself that I can do it and show her that I am happy again.

 

If I do visit, it will be my only contact with her over the break and for the foreseeable future. Like I said I haven't ruled out contacting her over the summer, but that's a ways away. So what do you think ENA? Should I visit?

[Ac143]

Well I think if you visit you aren't fooling anyone - especially her. She will know you are there to show her how well you are doing. Which could make her think the complete opposite of what you want.

 

If you really wanted to just see your friends that are in that band, cant you just call them/email them & meet somewhere out of the band class?

 

I think not visiting is the best & keeping NC.

[SighSob]

Well I think if you visit you aren't fooling anyone - especially her. She will know you are there to show her how well you are doing. Which could make her think the complete opposite of what you want.

 

If you really wanted to just see your friends that are in that band, cant you just call them/email them & meet somewhere out of the band class?

 

I think not visiting is the best & keeping NC.

 

Yeah. She will see right through it. I suggest you don't go. If you're looking to get back together with her in the future, the best option would be wait for the summer. I think the breakup wound is still too fresh.

[kevin456]

Well I found out today that she is dating someone that is also in band...so much for that visit!