Last ditch effort?

[MattW]

I know, I know, CAD, and don't take this the wrong way, because you've been a lot of help since I started making these topics way back when and I really appreciate your input, I just... I have a hard time letting this go; if there's even one tiny little window of opportunity for me, here, I'm driven to pursue it, until I know that there's absolutely positively nothing left for me to go on. Even still, I'm very much concerned about her opinions, and how she might react to the things I write; and while I know that I'm treading on very thin ice with her, considering my level of persistence could be a major turn off for her, the reason I constantly come to these boards, and any other board, is for advice on how to do this in the most delicate, least offensive way possible. I might post some crazy-looking "mock up" messages, here, but I usually hold off on them until I get enough input from others on the possible sides of it, how she might react, what she might think.

 

I realize that right now, I might be grasping at straws with her, but I really believe that I have one more window of opportunity that's still open a crack. Right now, I'm trying to make a decision; I'd either like to expand on the last message I sent her as Prepossessed talked about, or I'd like to "formally" say "good-bye" to her, like I wrote in that last post of mine. Not quite sure what I want to do, just yet, but I have to work fast, because that little window of opportunity is almost closed, and if I write again after that, it'd just be weird.

 

Something along the very general lines of: "I know it was a bit bold (and presumptuous!) of me to lay my feelings out for you, but hear me out! Every now and then I get to thinking about [very fond memory you share] and I remember [lovely quality about her]. Weird, I know... but I've never forgotten you and I don't want to live the rest of my life never knowing if there's something there. We could [brilliant idea of how you can see each other and what you could do] just to see if you feel it too. If things don't work out, we can laugh and go back to being friends. No matter what happens, I'll always remember you by [another of her many irresistible qualities] from [whenever it was that you used to interact regularly/where you know her from]."

 

Looking at your "mock up", I like the first couple of lines, and also the bit about not wanting to live the rest of my life never knowing, but I'm kinda wary of going into the past, saying I've never forgotten her, and being a little dramatic, because, well... That's a bit hard to gauge her reaction on. Some girls would read that message and think "Oh, that's so sweet! How romantic!", and others might see it as "Ugh, what a loser! How pathetic is he that I'm that big of a deal to him? Hahaha! Loser!". Of course, I suppose there's always a risk involved when it comes to situations like this, I just wish I could gauge her reaction a bit better.

[Prepossessed]

Some girls would read that message and think "Oh, that's so sweet! How romantic!", and others might see it as "Ugh, what a loser! How pathetic is he that I'm that big of a deal to him? Hahaha! Loser!".

 

I really do get what you're saying. While she may be put-off by bringing up the memories, like you say, what I was getting at was giving her the reason why you're still so interested after all this time, and why you're not content to just take a hint and move on. There's gotta be something about her that makes you like her so much, so maybe you should tell her what that is? She may not know what you really want from her, or why you care so much and are willing to look into things further.

 

Please realize that no matter how perfect a message you compose, she could still think "ugh, what a loser!" just because she's made it clear she's not interested and you keep trying!

 

I understand that you don't want to sound "too eager" or like she's "SO important to you," but you've already sent your declaration of love to no response--another message will just reek of eagerness (and maybe desperation so I think it's a bit late to be playing it cool. Either lay it all out or leave her alone.

 

I strongly suggest you don't stress this much longer. Say what you feel very clearly and concisely, send it, and move on. Know that this is your last chance, and you REALLY need to stop harassing this girl (because, no offense, that's what it is when you keep contacting someone who doesn't want to talk to you) and move on. There are other women out there! Living as though as this girl is your only "one special person" is a sure path to obsessive love and not the foundation of a healthy relationship.

 

A "goodbye" message is melodramatic and frankly useless. If all you want to say is goodbye, do yourself a favor and let that remain unsaid--it won't cast you in a flattering light. If you're going to take a risk here and contact her against all signals from her, I think you should have something much more substantive to say. If you don't have something sparkling to say about why you like her or how it could work, then I don't see how another message could possibly help.

 

She'll either be moved by your effort and respond promptly, or she'll be annoyed that you won't leave her alone and you'll need to recognize that you've used up all your chances and it's NEVER going to happen.

[MattW]

I really do get what you're saying. While she may be put-off by bringing up the memories, like you say, what I was getting at was giving her the reason why you're still so interested after all this time, and why you're not content to just take a hint and move on. There's gotta be something about her that makes you like her so much, so maybe you should tell her what that is? She may not know what you really want from her, or why you care so much and are willing to look into things further.

 

Well, as odd as this might sound, I don't know what, exactly, it is about her that's driving me to be so persistent. I... can't really explain it. Even when we were kids, I just felt this "pull" to her, and it's always been so strong. Sounds weird, I know. In a way, it almost feels like there's something telling me that we're "supposed" to be together, like "fate", or something; and I don't mean that in a stalker-ish "have to do whatever crazy thing it takes to make her mine"-kind of way, but in a "I have to earn her affection on my own and if I fail, my story won't get the happy ending that it should have"-kind of way. But that's silly, and much too campy to tell her. So, I dunno where that leaves me.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

When someone is ignoring you after several tries, it is best to let them go and leave the ball in their court if they ever want to contact you again.

[Prepossessed]

When someone is ignoring you after several tries, it is best to let them go and leave the ball in their court if they ever want to contact you again.

 

I agree that this is still the best way to deal with your situation.

[jengh]

Gahh, no...leave it be! Seriously, if she didn't respond back--that's your answer. If you continue to e-mail her you are coming off as so desperate and needy. I've had guys do this to me and it has annoyed the hell out of me...

[MattW]

Eh, you guys are right, I shouldn't write her again. Man, how pathetic am I...? T_T Why'd it have to end this way, yanno? *Sigh*