Jump to content

New job problems, please help

Feeling like a failure, mum? This i...
Feeling like a failure, mum? This is what you need to hear

Recommended Posts

So I'm in a terrible state at the moment. I've just started a new job and it is making me SO stressed and upset, I'm crying a lot and feel physically unwell.


I'm probably too hard on myself but I don't really know what I'm doing, Ive made a lot of mistakes and I'm slow and soon they'll start doing daily evaluations of my performance (same as everyone) and I'm worried what they'll say to me because I'm doing the best I can and it might not be good enough.

A number of people started at the same time and I feel like they are doing much better than I am, I hate feeling like a failure when I know I'm not dumb and everyone else seems to manage it.


Another thing is I don't really like the environment, most of the people there are much younger and I don't have much in common with them, plus I have not had any support, I've been placed to sit pretty much by myself and I've had no feedback from my supervisor or the training person.

I decided to take the job because I hadn't been working for a while and was getting worried about that, although I was so happy being a bum (living off my savings).


I'm not really lazy, when I have to work I work hard, but I'm so freaking miserable I can barely stand it. I just want to quit right away but I've never quit a job that I've been at for such a short time before and I would feel so guilty about doing that. But then if I stay I will have to stay for over 6mths so I can try and get a reference, so that's many months more of potential misery.


Part of me thinks life is too short and I should just give up, part of me thinks I have a duty to carry on and there's even another part of me that thinks it might be alright once I've learned the job properly, I'm really torn.


Luckily I have some money in the bank but I don't want to use it all up just on surviving so I do need to work, but I'm thinking about trying for something in a completely different area. I had a job I loved once so I know how great it feels not to be stressed about going to work.

Another thing is my personal life is not in the best shape but I can handle that if my working life is ok, however I can't handle both being crap.


I just have no idea what to do..any advice please?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a job that made me feel exactly like this. I'd come home every night just about and cry, and every morning when the alarm clock would go off I'd have a panic attack and spent the time getting ready trying to compose myself - it was terrible!


The job itself wasn't bad, but it just wasn't the job for me. The people were nice, but the work place was way too formal and intimidating for me, there was way too much pressure and absolutly no room to grow or improve.


I personally say if it's a short term job stick with it and see it through. If it's a full time job maybe you should stay there until you can line up something else?


If it gets too intense though Id just leave it and nourish your sanity. But honestly, the best option here is to keep the job and line up a better job on the side - that's what I did and now Im in a job that I love

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your sanity is more important than your resume.


There is no shame in walking away and saying, this wasn't for me. There should be no quilt involved.


GEt out of what sounds like a bad situation, move on to something that you will enjoy, and the rest of your life will improve (i.e. social, etc)


Life is too short to be unhappy everyday.


(I think I just answered my own post!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am in the exact same situation as you. I took my current job in January as it basically came down to a point where I needed a job to make ends meet. I really do hate it here as the environment isn't for me and the job wasn't as "advertised" when I first came in for an interview.


I admit that I too cry alot when thinking about work and just don't have an "off" switch. It is always in the back of my mind. Because of work, my diet has suffered and I really do feel depressed a majority of the time. I am doing my most to try to find another job but it really is hard. I've gotten a few other interviews but it is gonna take some time until the next steps are being taken.


My suggestion is to surround yourself with good people and confide in them with how you feel. If you don't want to quit because you are worried about your resume, there is nothing wrong with that. People quit jobs all the time because things didn't work out.


I know it is hard because I'm right there with you. You gotta do what you think is best.


Stay strong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You get out of a job what you put into it. I never give up. I would see your situation as a challenge and work hard to become the best person there. I always have a Five Year Plan. I start somewhere and expect to be the top employee within 5 years. It hasn't always worked out that way, but I'm always near the top.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...