Ixtapa Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 My ex and I have broken up a couple weeks ago and it was a rather nasty breakup. We had numerous arguments and he stopped responding to my calls and finally deleted me from his Facebook a week ago. I have been doing NC since 8 days now but every day I am thinking about the day we might find a way to be friends again. We live in 2 different countries so we would not see each other anyway...but I can't stand the idea of losing touch with him completely. Maybe the breakup is too fresh and I will think about it differently in a few weeks. Still....I was thinking to keep NC for about 2 months and then try to reach out to him and ask him if he wants to be friends. He is a very proud and somewhat macho guy, so even if he does want to get back in touch with me, I highly doubt he would take the first step. So.....does 2 months seem like a long enough time before asking him ? Provided I still want to do that then, of course Link to comment
elizmdavis Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 It depends on where you are in your healing from all of this. Also, why do you feel a friendship is important with him? If he hasn't contacted you or even tried, what makes you think that he will be receptive to your request? Link to comment
yumicecream Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I think trying to be friends after that experience should take place maybe after five years. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Two months is a good amount of time. Gives people the time and opportunity to simmer down, feelings to die down, animosity, etc. I applaud you for wanting to take the intiative to reach out and ask the ex if he would want to be friends. It seems most people on here are very against that and think the ex should be the one to do so. Good luck! Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 It depends on where you are in your healing from all of this. Also, why do you feel a friendship is important with him? If he hasn't contacted you or even tried, what makes you think that he will be receptive to your request? Yes, that is why I will wait for 60 days and see how I feel about it. I guess the friendship is important because we were friends for 2 years before going out. Also I have a hard time dealing with conflict in general and do not like to stay angry with anyone. I would like to think there are no hard feelings between us anymore. I have stayed friends with all my exes....even if we do not see or even talk to each other regularly I know that if I were to meet them again, there would be no awkardness or anger left there. Of course, there is not way to know if he will be receptive....but I won't know unless I try, right ? Im also thinking that after a couple months, I most likely will have moved on so his eventual lack of response would not be so hard to deal with anyway.... Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 I think trying to be friends after that experience should take place maybe after five years. This is actually making me laugh.... Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Two months is a good amount of time. Gives people the time and opportunity to simmer down, feelings to die down, animosity, etc. I applaud you for wanting to take the intiative to reach out and ask the ex if he would want to be friends. It seems most people on here are very against that and think the ex should be the one to do so. Good luck! Thank you. This is actually the way I feel obviously. Glad to see Im not the only one ...and hopefully my ex will feel that way too Link to comment
elizmdavis Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Yes, that is why I will wait for 60 days and see how I feel about it. I guess the friendship is important because we were friends for 2 years before going out. Also I have a hard time dealing with conflict in general and do not like to stay angry with anyone. Oh I see, I think I missed the part where you said you guys were friends before all of this. I too am not a bridge burner...I think it is a very good characteristic to have I am sure it could go back to friends. But I am just concerned that the break-up was so harsh and that he hasn't been in touch with you. I see it like this: if you touch something very hot and it burns you badly...are you doing to touch it again? I wouldn't! Also, are you seeking him out JUST TO BE FRIENDS or are there other intentions? If you are just wanting to be friends and clear the air with him, then I understand that for sure. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Also, are you seeking him out JUST TO BE FRIENDS or are there other intentions? If you are just wanting to be friends and clear the air with him, then I understand that for sure. I am not clear about that myself, if I am perfectly honest. That is also why Im thinking I will need at least 2 months to make sure I am contacting him with the right intentions. He is now in a relationship with someone else and it is very unlikely we will meet again .... I would just like to feel like we are in the clear and care and respect each other like before... Link to comment
sandrawg Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 He's in a relationship already??? After only being broken up with you for TWO weeks??? Link to comment
elizmdavis Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 He is now in a relationship with someone else WoW!! Didn't know that. Definitley wait 2 months...be strong! Link to comment
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