gattsuga Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Hi people, I really need some good advice, and I hope someone out there can really give some deep advice with this issue. So here's the story. names are not real My friend "Lisa", and her husband "Charles", separated a few weeks ago. They are both Christians, and as long as I've known Lisa, has been a devout follower of Jesus. Obviously this is not a good illustration of being a Christian. They were married for ONLY 6 months, and she has already told Charles there would be no chance to reconcile. I didn't want to offend Lisa at first, because she is a good friend of mine, but she told me her reasons for divorcing CHarles was because he was a lazy bum, and didn't love him anymore. Ok i thought, but is that reason enough for divorcing someone after only 6 months?? I thought something was strange. I spoke with Charles today, and I was devastated when he told me his side of the story. Lisa cheated on him with a student from overseas. And not only that, she is now throwing away her faith in God, and starting her journey to find out 'the truth' to life. Lisa told Charles they were seeing each other for about 2 or 3 months already.... so that's only ~3 months after they were married!! She is planning on running away with him back to his country, and living with him. She is abandoning all her friends/family/beliefs for the sake of her journey for truth. One BIG problem I see here. She only met the guy 3 months ago and is willing to travel half way around the world to live with him? That is DANGEROUS! Who knows what kind of guy this really is! For all we know he could be just using her for the time being, or worse... She is also shunning her parents, and mentors. Please enotalone people, help me find a way to speak with her and try and understand and HOPEFULLY convince her NOT to go through with her decision to run away overseas. Not only is this a really impulsive decision, I really can't see this ending happily for her. Please give me some tips/advice for how to approach her, what to talk to her about, and how to reason with her. Thank you all for reading. Link to comment
dreamwarrior Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 I know this might not be relevant, but what country is she going to? She better think long and hard about this....she hasn't known him long right? People get kidnapped when they go to other countries, put in jail, sold into prostitution...you name it, it could happen...even body parts are removed. She needs some intervention...tell her to get a hold of her hormones and think about the consequences....she is making a very very poor decision. Link to comment
gattsuga Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 I believe she is going to Italy. And yeah, I am worried about that happening to her as well. I need to know what I can say to stop her from doing something this stupid Link to comment
waveseer Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 She's an adult and if she needs to learn the hard way then that is the way it is. If you are really concerned, help her discover what life might be like there ahead of time. Buy her a map, so to speak. Link to comment
mike.tusa Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Sounds like there isnt going to be any talking her out of it. The only thing I can think of is try getting her to stay for a limited time. Maybe even just a couple of months. She is fresh out of a relationship and fresh into this decision. Ask her to stay for a couple of months to get her bearings before she jumps into something new. If you can buy this time maybe it will be enough for her to see the new guys true colors and come to her sense's. Or maybe you will get to know him and decide it is a good thing for her. Link to comment
avman Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Well you won't be able to force her. If she's got it in her head to do this then she's going to go. All you can do is offer your opinion to her and try to show her your side. Ultimately she may have to learn this lesson the hard way. I think Charles is going to look back on this divorce as a good thing. If she flaked on him only 6 months into the marriage then he's dodging a big bullet by ending it sooner and moving on to happiness with someone else. Link to comment
Stick Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Honestly, she sounds mentally ill. If she is, getting committed might save her from a nightmare overseas. Just sayin'... Link to comment
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