thistime Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 My bf's behavior can be sooo confusing at times. for example, we live about 45 minutes apart, and we both have sort of hectic scedules between jobs, and other obligations. We try to see each other at least twice a week, but sometimes it doesnt work out that way. If I tell him I miss him, he never says it back to me. when I ask him if he misses me too...he will say, yes...but it doesnt do him any good to complain or whine about it becasue there isnt much we can do about it. so, this week, with both of our schedules not 'lining up' enough to really spend any time together, I told him not to worry about this week, and we would try to get togetehr sometime Sunday. He kind of got defensive, and said something to the effect of me not caring if i saw him this week or not, and acting like I didnt care. (?) Secondly, he usually isnt a big 'holiday' kind of guy. I dont get anything, or even a mention of our "anniversary" and I guess I never expected much out of him for Valentines day. due to the fact that he has a prior commitment on the 14th, and i have a full schedule both 13th and 15th, I made a statement about Valentines day being just another day, and he reacted negatively again, saying that he couldnt believe I didnt care about seeing him on Valentines day!! OK...see why I am confused. If I would have made a big deal out of NOT seeing him on V-day, he probably would have told me I was over reacting, and say something like 'well, what are we going to do about it!?" Link to comment
cruzer Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 If you guys are not going to be able to see each other on any given day or week, why does anything need to be said? You said one week your schedules did not work out to see each other, ok so why did u have to point that out? As if he did not know, or would not know when u guys did not see each other. Now your not wrong for pointing these things out, its just, if u did not even mention it, he could not get all defensive and make a problem out of it. Next time something happens and u guys cant be together, dont say anything, just let whatever happens happen. This way he cant say anything about u not wanting to be with him or see him. problem solved. Link to comment
thistime Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 we usually plan our weekly schedule, and when he has free time, when i dont, and I have free time, when he doesnt yes I realize it's obvious we wont see each other, but if we have gone 3 days without physically seeing each other, and I tell him i miss him...he says nothing. I'm not pointing out the obvious, I'm just saying 'I miss you". He thinks if he says 'Imiss you, too" it's whining or complaining. When I make light of the situation, and say...well our schedules just dont jive this week, so dont worry about it, we will figure something out for the following week, he gets defensive, and makes it sound like I dont want to see him. I cant win. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 how long have you been together? Link to comment
thistime Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 18 months this time around. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 what do you mean this time around? you have broken up before? if so, why? Link to comment
thistime Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 we dated 6 years ago, for almost 2 years. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 you need to have a talk with him about him and his feelings. he needs to open up more your you gotta bail. you are two different beasts in this relationship. Link to comment
cruzer Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Ya something is not right. u say u miss him, then your all sad and mention how ur schedules dont allow u guys to see each other, then he thinks u dont want to see him? Either he just lacks common sense, or something odd is going on. point out that u say u miss him because u want to see him, but when u mention your schedules are conflicting he says u dont want to see him, it does not make sense. ask him what is going on lol Link to comment
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