Fiancee is a FRIVOLOUS spender! AHHH!!

[Cognitive_Canine]

My point was that you can't tell someone this... not without telling them how to live life. Well, you can tell them, but it won't do any good. People don't change that easily.

 

If he doesn't change and they aren't financially compatible she should never combine finances.

[Jeremiah Johnson]

If he doesn't change and they aren't financially compatible she should never combine finances.

 

I agree. I would even take that a step further.

[Maroney555]

I agree. I would even take that a step further.

 

 

What step further would you be suggesting?

[Alezia]

I don't know anything about marriage, but there is probably not a clause or contract that allows you not to be joint with debt / finances right?

If not, I don't think I'd be personally be able to marry someone if they have tons of debt and don't change their spending ways. (If it was a thing of the past that is ok for me)

[PixelPusher]

Even if you don't officially combine finances after marriage, if the spending habits of the partners are too different it still causes problems. Because he doesn't change his habits and priorities and while some of his money goes toward mutual bills and life together, he still runs up his cards.

 

This may be a final fun spending spree before he settles down but regardless, you need to have a financial talk with him before you get married. Partners MUST be on the same page when it comes to finances. If he wants to go have fun then more power to him! But it comes down to budgeting. Find out what your relationship (together) priorities are and put money aside for that, then figure out individual goals and put money aside for that.

 

We live in a world where (to some degree) you NEED debt... to build credit, etc. School and home loans are part of life now. But extensive credit card debt is a no-no. You shouldn't need more than one credit card and never put more on it than you can't pay off in a month or so. NEVER go over the halfway point or it starts negatively affecting your credit score. Clothing, jewelry stores, gasoline and those types of cards aren't needed at all. If you can't buy it with cash, then you don't need it and make due. Period.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Actually, you should never go beyond the one-third mark on the card or it impacts credit (according to the credit bureau systems for rating credit).

 

And it is best to have maybe 3 cards, bank cards rather than store cards, and all no more than one-third full. Creditors also want you to have held at least one card account continuously for a long time (5-10 years+), and to have at least one high limit ($10K+) card showing you can handle a large line of credit without maxing it out.

[3boys]

oh my god, i would hold off that marriage. his debt will become yours...

 

Not necessarily. If the loans are in his name only, she can't be held liable for them.

 

BUT, if they try to buy a house, his late payments and maxed out credit cards will come back to bite them in the butt.

 

Sitting down with him and setting a budget is a good idea, but you'll have to get him to stick to it. If he doesn't, then refuse to combine your money with his. I know a few couples with separate accounts, he pays certain bills and she pays certain bills and it seems to work for them...

[3boys]

HUH!?!? Women falsely believe they want "safe Mr. Nice Guy"? Maybe that's your idea of "adventure," but I know quite a few men who would respectfully disagree...my husband being one of them...