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You know, this is an epiphany of sorts, and I feel like I need to get this off my chest. To be completely honest, I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am done playing her game. She'll make sure I'll break NC by telling me her dad is in real need of surgery or how sick he is, full well knowing that I cared a ton for him and he was so nice to me. She'll try and seduce me with her vagina even though she has a boyfriend. She is the devil. I am almost completely sure she is spawned by satan to just keep me feeling bad. These last few months, I have done alot of self-growth. I eat very healthy now, lost 7 pounds (pure muscle now!!!), am now a beginner guitar player, and my grades have picked up. The only variable that is the same since the break up is the . She just won't set me free. But I have come to realize that is my own fault. For some reason I kind of in a sick way got used to the fact of her treating me bad and I welcomed it almost excitingly, weird huh?

 

She can keep thinking I am going to play her games, but I will not give in. This time I am sticking to it, for forever. Any "I miss yous" "I want you to me!" "I wish things were different", any of these I am not accepting anymore. There is no more hope in this situation. She doesn't love me. She doesn't want me back. She just wants a nice security blanket to wrap up in. She can keep jumping from guy to guy because she is very insecure. She's the poster child for grass is greener syndrome. I don't even like her anymore. She is so heartless. I am more addicted to the grief, more than I am her.

 

If I found someone new, they would be mine whole-heartedly. For some reason though, I feel that since I am single and not dating anyone, I SHOULD miss her. This shouldn't be the case, and I can't believe I have strung this out this long. It has been 7 months since we broke up. I am done. This is to you ex, you can keep playing the game, but I am bowing out before it begins again. Thanks to everyone on ENA, y'all have been the best. I don't want reconciliation, can't believe I ever did, I am done with this. I am not angry, more frustrated with the way an ex who says she loves you can still knowingly treat you like crap. More frustrated at MYSELF more than anything. I am wasting part of the "funnest years of my life" sulking over a girl that has no soul. DUMB. I am not calling it a quits on ENA, just no more getting back together forum, or what does this all mean thread. Just my advice from now on. Thanks Again, a bit of a ramble huh?

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manup--

 

I shall leave you my reply now. Your ex is quite similar to mine. They are cold hearted demented beings that are truly bred from satan. I too had months of playing these stupid mind games. All those I miss you, I wish things could be different, blah blah blah texts all while they have someone else in their lives. Take it from someone that shouldve stayed NC all this time, ITS NOT WORTH IT. She wants you yes, but she also wants her cake and eat it too. That isnt someone that truly loves you. You dont deserve that. I know its frustrating becuase you want her to be the person that you envision but the person can only change themselves. Believe me i had years of trying to and i gained nothing, in fact I lost a lot (as you have read in my post) in the end. Be strong and walk away from her. Let her lead her own life, be with whatever loser she is going to be with and you will see...she wont get too far with that sick mind of hers. You will be happy again and find a girl that will love you like you deserve. Hang in there. I know how you feel. NC is key. Dont make the mistake as I have. take care.

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