JT4266 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Its been a year a year and 2 months after we broke up and I still have not been able to let the relationship go. Today via a friends facebook I saw pictures of her and her new boyfriend. I wasn't jealous but felt sadness and emptiness. I NEED to let her go. I'll always love her in my heart but I am having so much trouble moving on. Time has helped but I do still miss her a lot and have a ton of regret. I have a personality where I don't let things go easily and let them linger. Sometimes I think I just beat myself up for no reason. Its almost like its not her thats the thing its this image or ghost I have created of the relationship and her. I need a shrink or something.....I know I need to move on but I still think of her every day even if its just a moment. I am not a mentally healthy individual! Link to comment
parlae Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 how long were you guys together? Link to comment
JT4266 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 We were together a little over a year. It may sound weird but the feelings from the breakup did not truly hit me until 5 months ago. I was the dumper and we were close even after we broke up for a while and it wasn't until I didn't have her I had to evaluate how I felt. I regretted my decision and wrote to her to apologize and tell her my feelings. She had moved on and I have been trying to do the same myself since. She was my first love and sometimes it feels like she is the only person in the world for me. I know its not true but it does feel that way. Link to comment
High5girl Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Word to the wise....quit looking at her facebook things. It's only going to bring you down and hurt you more. Delete anything that has to do with her. Deleting things won't erase the memories of what you had, but it's not helping you move on by checking on her and what she is up to. If you are friends still, cut the cord. Link to comment
JT4266 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 I only saw through a mutual friend. She has a myspace and I deleted mine a while back mostly to get rid of the option of looking at photos of us(she hadn't been on in a year and her pics are all still the same). I have a picture of her in a drawer along with a couple cards. I don't look at them but was going to throw them away but my roommate said I might regret it later when I've moved on. Link to comment
Raistlin Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Wow, I didn;t realize that I created a new screen name and posted exactly what I've been trying to say, but failing to say, for months. It's scary how similar you express your feelings to how I feel mine as well. I was with my ex for 2.5 years and we've been split for 10 months... and not 1 single day has gone by that I don't think about her. I don't miss her as a person, I miss the idea of her and the relationship itself. I know these things in my logic self. If I could somehow convince my emotional self to listen to my logical self, I would finally be where I need to be. Link to comment
JT4266 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 I know these things in my logic self. If I could somehow convince my emotional self to listen to my logical self, I would finally be where I need to be. Well said. I went from keeping my emotions bottled up to having them rule me and finding the balance has been tough - and painful. Its cost me my first love. I don't want to forget her just be able to learn my lesson and move on. Link to comment
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