1MoreChance Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Why? Why did last Monday he told me "I cannot tell you for sure we'll never be together again, I still have strong feelings for you, I just cannot be together with u right now..." and on Dec 23 we had a dinner at my house and a romantic evening and sex (I slipped that night... we had only remained friends until that night). Then he told me about his trust issues and the wall around his heart, and told me he "loved me a lot, but was very scared and could not open up"... etc etc. He made it clear he didn't want to be in a relationship. BUT now he's been with someone for like less than 2 weeks and he told me himself and told me he didn't know what he felt, then that he felt rejected by her cause she had no time for him and he wanted to stop seeing her, and that I "still had a big place in his heart" and he couldn't let me go completelly because he had strong feelings for me, BUT the new girl wrote a msg on his windows live profile "I love you babe" and he wrote one back "Babe I love you more than anything" . And It's a PUBLIC profile. I haven't talked to him since (4 days) and I'm freaking out!!! How can he tell her "I love you more than anything" when he has not been able to be clear with me in MONTHS and I am going mad. I feel like I will die from the pain. We had such a beautiful and strong connection inspite of our problems. Why would he say I love you to this barely legal girl (he s 22 she looks maybe 16 - it is the age of consent here tho but still, what could he have in common with her ands to sayI love you so fast?)... I don't plan on contacting him but I'm freaking out, I fel lost and overwhlemed and I can't eat and I cry so much. PLease help me!!!!!!! I wrote on his profile, "I wish you guys a lot of happiness". Should I delete it? I want to let him go and I do wish him happiness but I so hurt that he posted that for me to see. I want him to know I saw it. I am so CONFUSED!! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 This guy is very immature and I really think you can do a lot better. I would delete your comment and delete him out of your life completely. Get on with your life, your work, your hobbies, your friends and realize that your time and effort is better spent in other pursuits. He is not worth it. Link to comment
purpleduckie Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 likewise, i think you can do a lot better. i had a bf tell me "i love you" then the very next day... have sex with another girl and of cOURSE, tell HER that he loves her omg sooo much. it was.. um, hurtful. to say to the least. i thought we had a great connection too. life sometimes give you the biggest crap for no good reason. Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 Actually I thuought he was the biggest gift and sunshine to ever come into my life. I am very angry right now at the WAY he is behaving himself out of my life. It HURTS so much. I hope he doens't feel the love he felt for me with just anybody, esp not a teenager. OK yes I had (still have) issues but I owned them and I am in therapy and I demonstrated a willingness and capacity for change. Yes I think he is bein very immature but that's ok we're all human. I just erased my comments on his page (one was wishing them happiness and the other one was regarding a picture of me he posted, I just commented it was a wonderful ride (horseback riding) with a fantastic man. I erased that too.) we were together one year and I feel like it's all my fault if he left. I feel like I am going crazy and don,t know how to stop blaming myself. Link to comment
xRoh Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 look, he's stringing you both along. he knows exactly what he's doing. maybe he can't let you go but he's giving you false hope just so you'll stick around when he's done with the new girl. he doesn't love her. it's infatuation. as i said in a previous post to you, the novelty will wear off. trust me. BUT YOU MUST REMAIN IN NC! that's very important! Link to comment
xRoh Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 also, why lie and say you're happy for both of them when it's obvious you're not? he knows that you're lying and is enjoying every second of it. just delete it and don't contact him Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 He "won't let YOU go?" Sounds like you won't let him go... Cut all ties ASAP! He is immature on so many levels. You can do so much better! There are plenty of other men out there who won't F with your head and who truly care about you and ONLY you! Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 xRoh I deleted everything (2 comments, one about a pic of me from our trip that he put there, and the one about I Hope they are Happy...). I removed him from my contacts. I want to be free. I'm tired of the games. He may not have the strength to tell me to f*** off to my face, but he did by posting "I love you more than anything" to her. That HURT more than anything. I am hurting so bad right now. I deleted everything. Thanks. I need to value myself. For the fist time in my life more than ever. Thanks for being there everyone, you are helping me immensly during this time of desperation and fear. thanks Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 He "won't let YOU go?" Sounds like you won't let him go... Cut all ties ASAP! He is immature on so many levels. You can do so much better! There are plenty of other men out there who won't F with your head and who truly care about you and ONLY you! You are right I won't let him go but what I meant about HIM is all tjhe friggin' comments about still having feelings for me and he cannot give me a definitive answer and I still hold a big place in his heart, etc etc etc. I could go on, our special evening and dinner and night on Christmas that he kept asking if we could have it and it was confusing me and I said ok because I love him and had hope and he kept saying I miss you and can't wait to see you. So it's not just ME who cannot let him go! What about him? the only reason he is not calling NOW is because he met that other girl a week and a half ago. Before he was calling me often and regularly. I begged him to give me a clear answer. etc etc etc Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 and why does he keep CRYING on the phone? saying "I'm really happy to hear from you... you can call me anytime..."?? etc etc Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 He may grow up some day, but that day is not today. Don't give him the luxury of having his cake and eat it too. It's time to say, "no more." Link to comment
DJBaby Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 1MoreChance, I know you don't like me, but I just want you to know... If you let him go and he comes back, it was meant to be. If you let him go and he doesn't, it wasn't meant to be. I know it's counterintuitive, but if you just get out there and enjoy yourself, you will be soooooo much more attractive to him and to others... And maybe "others" is what you really need. Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 I do like you now You did make some valid pts in my other thread too, I did think about everything you said, it was just the tone and or wording in some of what was said. thanks Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 I agree with everything. I thrive on drame, because of my issues around relationships. also, thrive on rejection. yes I have to work on my self-esteem too. Link to comment
DJBaby Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I'm sorry. I am a bit blunt at times, but sometimes bluntness is the only thing that gets thee point accross. I think you should also look into co-dependency. I think that has a lot to do with your self esteem issues... Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 no worries. I have looked (and still am loking) into it ALL! our relationship was also very parent-child, mainly with me beign critical parent when he was child and him being nurturing parent when I was child. ( that is transactional analysis ) I am in therapy. Lots of pain from childhood. Link to comment
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