Why Is My GF On An Online Dating Website?

[Lost_Prince1010]

Hello everyone and thanks in advance for your opinions. I have an issue and i'd like to get others input. My GF and I have been together for about half a year now, she's 22 im 25 and I met her thru an online dating website and that particular profile on that website she has stopped using. Before I mention the negative aspects let me mention why I feel she is serious about me, # 1 She has introduced me to her entire family, which she has not done with her previous BF's (two of them) # 2 we talk on the phone every day (morning b4 work, lunch break, and at nite) # 3 Will be quiting her pursuit to be a figure skater due to lack of time now she's working full time, college student, & me in her life. However, I found out she has another profile on a completely differently website which she continues to monitor every so often, lets say once or twice a week and im quite certain she's not aware that I am aware she's on that site, she has NEVER mentioned it to me nor have I asked if she continues to be on any dating sites (I was foolish to assume she had stopped). On that site she mentions her status is "in a relationship" but only recently changed to that status about a month ago, even though we've been an official couple for about half a year, It used to say that she was "dating" however up until she recently changed it. Anyhow, I figured that was prolly just an oversite on her part, my main concern is why is she still on an online dating site? I know for a fact she was on this one before she and I got together, but must she continue to be on it even though her status reflects she's in a relationship? By her being on it may cause trouble and rifts between us, like why does she need more "MALE" friends? Even though she says she's in a relationship, most guys will not respect that and continue to try and probe to see what and how far they can get. IMO and many others I have physically spooken with. Also not too forget, CONFUSION, what if she meets some guy who appears to be prince charming or what have you and then she becomes confused? My whole point is not my insecurities, (everyone has them) but rather common sense. If you continue to search and seek out "Friends" sooner or later you will come accross someone who confuses you or makes you question you past judgement. I dont see how this can help benefit a relationship. ANYONE who reads all of this I do appreciate any input and thanks again, =)

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

lol hey maybe she doesn't use it anymore and its just there. and a question i need to ask you is: what are YOU doing on a online dating site?

 

Ask her, it could all be a misunderstanding or tell you what, why don't you try and be someone else and respond to her ad and see what's really going on for yourself if you don't trust her.

 

Happy Heb

[Lost_Prince1010]

Thanks for your reply, She does continue to monitor and check it like once or twice a week. A friend of mine brought it to my attention and that was a bit embarrassing to say they least. Being the last to find out your own GF without tell you that she's on a dating website is not fun, Especially when your friend finds out first and questions you about it. Options, #1 I could confront her about it and see what she says is the reason, (of course she's gonna say jus to make new frens) # 2 Fake someone else and try that approach, (that's a bit shady to me, but she's being shady by not telling me upfront) What do your opinions suggest people? Thanks again.

[maynards_razorblade69]

Well, some women just want to feel that even though they're in a relationship with someone, it doesn't take away their looks or anything. It's nice to feel desired and wanted by other people, even if you are in a relationship. She perhaps doesn't want to feel shrivelled up, old and taken by one man just because she's in a relationship if that makes sense.

It doesn't mean she's cheating, meeting men or anything. I guess it just makes her smile if there's someone there telling her she's gorgeous!!

Hope this helps

xxx

[VickiRose]

I had a similair problem, I met a man off the internet, dated him for one year... While he continued to use the internet to meet women... I never understood why he did it, or if he actually met women off of it, but I assume that he did... Basiscally because thats how he met me... His using the internet was the complete downfall of our relationship... I think that you should talk to her, and ask her about the online thing... Before you end up like me...

[neva_black_n_white]

lol to happy heb with the, why are you on it?

 

go on son!

 

any way when did she start the account? usually they give you a date as to when it was activated etc, and well if it was before the time she was with you she may not have actually touched the account since then, maybe to check that out you could see if it was updated or anything.

 

have you ever brought up the topic of online dating, maybe see what she thinks of it and if she would ever do it. if she lies then yeah id be a little suspicious but it may be that like others of said she enjoys to be desired.

 

i deffinitley wouldnt go with the whole ''fake account idea'' thats a little low but then again if you feel the need to its up to you.

 

do you trust her is what you have to ask yourself.

kel

[DealingWithIt]

you should confront her with this. is she happy with you or waiting for someone better to come along

[Lost_Prince1010]

As i've mentioned, she did start it prior to US, but that doesnt mean she has to keep it going and keep monitoring it weekly right? Well, today I brought it up and she didnt take it well, she took it as me not trusting her completely and gave me the silent treatment. My whole point was why didnt she tell me about it in the 1st place? Isn't that something a significant other should and has the right to know about? and by not telling me makes it seem a lil more suspicious to me. Her response to my bring it up was, "well you didnt ask........" How am I supposed to know what I need to ask for? And she was also like, "Well to me it wouldn't have been a big deal in the first place cause I trust you." Although she has a valid point, after you've been burned a couple times its hard to remain naive and ignorant and when your GF is out advertising herself to other SINGLE GUYS it has to raise a question as to why does she continue to do so.

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

I still don't see how option 2 can be a lil low...IF you don't trust her. She's obviously not doing her part and it does her a lot to find things out last even if itsn't about ur gf on a dating website.

 

Think about it, if you dont' trust her, which it sounds like you dont' right now or you probably would've talked by now why give her a chance to find a way out or bring it up so you can buy her time to find an excuse?

 

Happy Heb

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

lol o so you did have a talk eventually.

 

That's really not on, what she's done. When you go and advertise yourself on a online dating website, you expect your bf 2 trust you?!?! Why? so you can go run off with another guy? That's really bs 2 me.

 

She could've been a bit more understanding too, being annoyed and you even had a good reason to be a little untrustworthy. Why didn't you ask her that: "How am I supposed to know what I need to ask for?" You had ever right I reckon to ask and have doubts...I don't think she's being very nice by doing and saying what she has done. Do you put urself on online dating sites?

 

O yea, and its not about trust, NO ONE can fully trust their gf/bf if they found them on a online dating website. Seriously, unless you dont' really care about them.

 

Happy Heb

[Lost_Prince1010]

Well, now it is the day after the big talk. She seems back to her normal happy go lucky self, very pleased to talk to me and eager to see me. I suppose the nite to think about what was said and done helped her reflect a little on what she did. She did appologize last nite and said that everyone was her fault, and she removed her profile from the site. It still really bothers me why she thinks i have to "ASK" what she is doing without my knowledge when it effects OUR relationship. When you're in a committed relationship what each other does effects each other in someway. It's really selfish and inconsiderate to do just as you please with no concern as to how it effects your significant other and whether they ask or not about your actions determines whether or not you'll mention them. In any case, I did not dump her. She's younger then I, she's 22 and naive at that, I'll give her some leeway here because I do truly love her and want to make sure I exhaust all hope within reason before I move on. Thanks for everyone's input and advice.

 

(Oh, and Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb the reason why I didn't do the fake account is because in truth she is a lousy liar, trust me on that. I had had enough of the guessing game and just wanted to get it out in the open. I still feel though if your significant other is hiding things from you, and the reason being whether or not you ask them specifically is REALLY SHADY and detrimental in some cases to a relationship. Words of advice to those who choose to read this thread.)

[Amoretto]

i got my love's cell phone number on the dating website, we sent text messeges to each then after one week, we met and then we confirmed our relationship and gave commitment to each other, we both deleted our profile from the website right away!!!!!! because we love each!! there is no need to do this any more!! i think you should talk to your girl friend and if she is still doing so, just dump her!

good luck

[Scout]

Hmmm, I would break up with my significant other if I found out they have an active profile up on a dating site. How much more proof do you need to know the significant other is definitely looking around? It's also an uncool thing to do to people that might respond to her ad, people who are looking to date other SINGLES.

 

I predict this girl is going to cheat on you, if she hasn't already. She took this one down, but for all you know, she may have put her profile on another dating site, or simply changed this one.