not this way

[poppyseed]

I have posted about my ex a few times before. To sum up, we were in love for 4 to 4.5 years, then something went wrong (stress and inexperience). Over the last year we tried to hold it together in varing degrees. Last semester (we go to school together) we both were mean to each other, even though we think of each other as best friends. We got strained to the max. Deep down I desperatly didn't want him to leave me, I tried to make it work but also I didn't want to put up with his crap. He was sort of neglecting me and I was trying to push away. Apparently, our firends thought we broke up before we did. I have been in a daze and didn't see what I (and he) was doing and it really just hit me today. Through in the towel yes? No, I can't, not yet. We were each others first, and it did get messy, and he is disenchanted with me as a girlfriend role, but I don't believe this is right. Their is something special and I won't have it destroyed by talking him to death anymore or explainig what we had. But no concact is no good. We were starting to grow apart before, and no contact hurt him and pulled him away more. We made up as friends but I think he fears a relationship with me will be unfun and impossible. He still thinks of me very dearly as a friend and thinks I am very beautiful, and that is how we began. The best thing I did was hang out and have fun a lot after we broke up, the worst was when I begged. The second worst was the we can't be friends right now thing. He already can see me as a platonic friend now, and if I tell him to go away he will just get more hurt and do it. Have I thrown away all my chances? I don't think so. I have dug a deep hole. Can he forget as I did and love me? Does he only need time and to see me as fun and stressfree thing? How long will that take? I can not push time with me upon him, but I must find a way if nothing else to grow close again. I have been told ex lovers can not be friends and I see why, but I refuse it. Life is short and a real friend is rare. How long before someone untainted by history steals his heart? He says he won't be able to date for a long time, is this true? If he thinks me as beautiful as he says, can I take away his fear over time and win his heart with kindness again? I must stay his sweetie even if only in memory. If we part we must not remember each other for the last few months. He says wanted it to work just a bit ago but it was too awekward. He says he probably can not fall in love with me again. Is true love real, if so can it over come with time? Some one please help.

[cutiepie20]

Well, this one is tough! I am actually going through a break up right now and I am going through the same situation. You know what I think it all depends on the person. You never know, he might fall right back in love with your smile and all the qualities that made him attracted to you the first time around! I have a feeling that if you were to find someone else he would be very jealous, because I think that sometimes when we are friends withour ex's they don't really necessarily get to or have to miss you because in a sense you are still in their life, just in a different aspect. I think you are better off at least trying to move on, not to make him jealous, but just for yourself. In the process you will eventually find out if you two are meant to be, because I am sure that he will let you know if he does....knowing how strongly you felt about him. We never know the depths of our love for someone until we know that it is truly over. Maybe you taking that step will make him miss what he has lost. Time will tell, but even if he doesnt do anything, then at least you have the comfort that no matter what, he will always be a part of your life, because boyfriends come and go, but true friends last forever.

Good luck sweetie!

cutiepie20

keep me posted to what happens (pm me)