Giving too much?

[whatatodo]

What to should i do if I feel I'm 'giving' too much and the other person isn't reciprocating that? He has already told me that he won't be able to 'give' as much as he did in his past relationship for a long time as she hurt it too much... but we're nearly at 6 months...

 

Also... Valentines day... I actually loathe that day... but I thought seeing as we're approaching 6 months we'd spend it together, but yesterday he dropped it in to conversation that he was going to go home, up north for Valentines day. I didn't even react when he said it... even though I was gutted, especially as I'd spent the day before planning a really lovely day and evening...

 

Any advice, one, as to how I go about making him see how much I 'give' ie, try no contact? As he's away working this week?

 

And two, how do I bring up the Valentines thing? Do I text and ask if there's any way I could persuade him to stay? Or if he didn't have to go home would he have spent Valentines day with me?

 

Thank you in advance!!

[Scorpion Fury]

I don't understand why you're putting anything into him at all. If a guy told me flat out he wouldn't be able to put as much into our relationship as he did with his last relationship, I wouldn't even bother.

[dasilver]

That would hurt me badly too. I would have a firm but gentle talk with him explaining to him how disappointed you are that you are not spending Valentine's day together and how you were really looking forward to being with him that day. Ask him if he can't be with you that day could you do something special when he gets back from his trip. If he says yes....suggest something nice you'd really like to do with him. Sometimes in relationships you have to take two steps back before taking one forward. If you think you're giving too much....hold off on giving for a while.