trouble really letting go...

[pete2002]

broke up wtih my gf of 4 years, and now im trying to move on.. took five montsh relaly letting go at all beause she was sending mixed signals, but then i'd act crazy and she'd push me away, only to pull me back in.. she told me two weeks ago that she was thinking of starting to date this guy, but wasnt sure, and would let me konw if she did... via email. i know, a weird situation. we also decided at that time that we were not going to talk anymore.

 

so i didnt talk to her for a week, quite sure that she was hooking up wtih him. then she emialed me a week later (last thursday), saying we hadnt talked in a while, but it was a ridiculous email.. no substance at all.. just telling me how law school second semester was real hard.. i didnt respond, and we havent talked yet.. this is the longest we have ever gone wtihout talking over the past four and a half years.. its tough.

 

heres my question.. i really want to know if she's dating this guy, but should it matter? i've done so much better (im still depressed, but not as bad) since we started not talking... but i always want to konw whats going on.... and plus, i have this horrilbe habit of signing on and looking to see whether or not my ex is on AIM at night, becasue i know she used to be on all the time.. so if she's not on at night i think she's wtih this guy, i know its a tough assumption to make, but on all other nights she used to be online till like 1 am, now she's never online late anymore...

 

so how can i get myself to stop checking that, or should i really try to know whats going on because not knowing will keep me from moving on, and then i'll just be hit wtih the fact that she's been dating the guy for two months if she decides to tell me then...

 

thanks

 

PETE

[the lonely heart]

So sorry about the pain and anguish you're suffering I hope it passes and you are able to find some happiness and love soon.

 

As far as any suggestions regarding AIM and whether you should find out about the ex's possible boyfriend? I'd suggest that you don't try to find out about the ex's possible any relationships. Why torment yourself? Do you think it will accomplish anything? As far as AIM goes, I've found its helpful to take the ex off your buddy list so you don't have the temptation to look for her online. Consider asking a friend to keep you accountable & treat yourself when you do maintain the "no contact"...

 

All the best to you...

 

Cheers