Is it too soon?

[JoJo90814]

Ive been dating this guy for about a month. We hung out 3 times one of which was the whole weekend together (no we didnt sleep together). Anyways he has a very full plate- works full time, in a band, working on his master degree. I am pretty busy myself- working p/t going to school f/t. Also we live 1 1/2 hours apart.

 

My problem is that I feel he is not putting in enough effort to hang out with me. He called me today and asked me what I was doing this weekend but didnt make plans with me. He just said he had all of these things up in the air and maybe wanted to hang out. I told him that I was disappointed he didnt want to make plans with me and wasnt sure, with our distance and busy schedules, if this could possibly be anything. He got upset and said he really liked me and wanted to keep pursing this and it was up to me.

 

Is it too soon for me to expect for him to want to hang out with me or put more effort in? I dont know if I like him enough yet to be in a relationship , but I would like for him to put in more effort and show me he wants to see me. Esp. with all of our busyness and esp since he says he wants to pursue this.

I just want to make sure im not jumping the gun and having too many expectations too soon.

[ghost69]

you are expecting a lot too soon. what did you do the weekend when you hung out? just have sex and stay in?

[Batya33]

When I am first dating someone I expect him to let me know by Wednesday night at the latest whether he wants to take me out that weekend and when on the weekend, unless there are near-emergency circumstances or something like he doesn't know if he has to work, etc. Not being sure what his social plans are or similar do not fall into that category. I don't "hang out" with someone I am newly dating and I certainly wouldn't keep a weekend night open past Wednesday night because my time would be more valuable than that - either I'd make other plans or have plans with myself that would be more important than being someone else's afterthought.

[JoJo90814]

Ghost- I havent slept with him yet. The weekend we spent together he took me out to Sushi for dinner the first night. The next day we hung out, he made me food and we met some of my friends out for drinks and the last day we talked all morning and he left in the afternoon.

 

Batya- Youre totally right. My time is more valuable than being an afterthought. Thanks for the reminder.

[ghost69]

well, if you feel you aren't getting the effort, no sense in you pining over him. it's not what you want. NEXT!