Cheating Dreams

[Balbina]

I'm in a great relationship with a guy whom I adore. Things have been good between us - we bicker, but resolve things pragmatically, we sometimes don't have sex for a couple of days because of stress/sickness/whatever, but when we get back on track, it is ALWAYS as amazing as it always has been.

 

Here's the deal. We've both been sick lately, and pretty stressed out recently. We've had sex about once a week for the past 4 weeks due to all the stress...which is unlike us. The passion is still there, the romance, the whole shabang... We both agree that when we're healthy and fit we'll get back on track...and last week after we both started working out, it was, as always, amazing.

 

Now he's really sick and I've been nursing him back to health at his place...but...for the past 3 nights I've had dreams I was cheating on him. Once with an ex I do NOT even care about from long ago, the other times with randoms. I'm in a relationship with them in my dreams...Each time I realize it is not my boyfriend and that I am cheating, I feel wrong and guilty... and yet before this, I sincerely enjoy the flirting and all other things.

 

I looked it up online..and it's supposed to be a reaffirmation of your feelings for your SO. And a representation of stifled sexual urges, which makes sense.... but is there anything else to it?? I mean...I love my boyfriend, but these dreams are SERIOUSLY freaking me out.

 

Can anyone relate?

[Beau]

I can't personally relate, but my fiance has experienced the same thing recently. It worried her to death and she brought it up with me, and we talked about it and I sortof understand where she's coming from so I'm not overly worried about it, but the best idea I could come up with is to sex our way through it.

 

I've heard it from psychologists that often sexual problems centering on the lack thereof, little to no sex over an extended period of time, requires forced sex. Not non-consensual sex, but sex where both of you are aware that you need to have sex, despite other reasons that might indicate that you shouldn't or don't want to have sex.

 

It's worth a shot, and may work you through the tough time until things settle back down again. Stress + sickness are a bad combo for sex lives, but not something unrecoverable.

 

-Beau from ez2chat

[chaosa]

It was the opposite for me. I had them about my husband cheating and they were so vivid I would wake up sick. Turns out I am the cheater and maybe my subconscious was trying to give me a dose on how it would feel to be the one cheated on.

[Lamprey]

Dreams are your subconscious mind acting out. Kind of like, things you want to do but won't/can't admit.

 

So it sounds very simple - you're having less sex now, and you want more. So you're fantasizing about getting laid. It's a random guy each time which means you're not looking for someone other than your bf, just basically a faceless penis.

 

Once your bf gets back in the groove, I'd expect these to go away. For now, enjoy your dreams

[Botched]

You are fine. Just be patient and focus on your relationship. The dreams may have totally different relavence, unrelated to a desire to cheat.

[Balbina]

Thank you everyone for your responses.

 

I realize it is mostly sexual frustration...although I'm sure some of you - especially those who experience very vivid, realistic dreams, like myself - can relate to why the dreams are disconcerting.

[jstaman]

I am in a good relationship with a very sexual partner, we have sex alot by most peoples standards...

 

Now having said that, I have Screwed, Shtupped, Banged and had sex with every attractive woman that works in the office that I do, in my dreams. I cant explain it, as said above it is your unconscience mind at work, you have no control over it.

 

I have woke up in the morning with a nice boner and my GF thinks its from her and thats what I tell her but it was from some weird dream where I bent the secretary over the copy machine and made enlarged copies while having sex in front of the accounting staff.

 

Cant explain but is perfectly normal as far as I know, a lot of my friends have admitted to it as well.