I need more foreplay...how do i tell my guy?

[Phoenix_girl]

Hi,

 

I have a question about talking to a guy about more foreplay before sex. My boyfriend and i have been sleeping together for about 6 months now. He is bigger then average and since its distanced we dont see each other that often and it still hurts when he first starts pushing into me.

He is my second sexual partner. My first partner was more "playful" - we cuddled and made out more. It seems with my current boyfriend we just go right to sex, and i feel i need more foreplay and "playtime" but he says the we arent in highschool anymore. Hes a very serious person and this sometimes clashes with my playful side. How can i get my boyfriend to be more open to "playful" time before sex - i really think it would help with the pain issue (he knows its painful and tries to go slow but he gets frustrated about it easily).

 

Also - as i said he is bigger then average and sometimes i get like a pain in my back or lower abdomen that feels like cramping - is this normal?

Thx.

[SunnyScott]

Hi Pheonix!

 

How are you? I'm glad to see that you're feeling better.

 

Sounds like your BF and you clash. It doesn't seem like he's willing to change himself for you, so maybe, you should reconsider leaving him. You're still young, and if you guys clash, this small incidet/sexual value/interests of yours don't meet, then you shouldn't waste your time on fixing someone/something that's irrepairable.

 

You did also mention that he gets easily frustrated b/c you're small, and he's too big. Well, if he's getting angry over something like that, he sounds like a jerk. Don't try to bend over backwards to please him. He should be aware of your likes/dislikes as well.

 

Just think about it...doens't he sound a bit selfish/inconsiderate?

[neva_black_n_white]

for you topic question, why is it that you want to tell him, i mean wouldnt it be more eventful, you coming on to him, you being the dominant one and actually showing himn how you like it done? that way its not saying anything bad about him (which i dont think you mean anyway) and your having fun.

 

as for the, is this natural.

 

i believe that its all about your body fitting and being able to adequatley supply the right amount of room for his girth and the adapting of it. if its the length, i dont think theres much you can do other than familiarise yourself with it and possibly become more comfortable. does he know of this pain?

 

kel