She said if we're meant to be we will.

[JesseMac]

My, name is Jesse and three weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me.

We were together over nine months. We loved each other very much. For a little while I was kind of dependent on her. But the night we broke up I

realized everything I did wrong. And I have changed, she said she needed to see if she could miss me, and when I ve talked to her she said she still

loves me more than anything, and she misses me. But recently I have been around another girl, it s nothing serious, but I can tell my ex is jealous. Extremely jealous. She said that she lost the feelings, but she s just confused and I know she is just trying to be strong. She hasn t had a real chance to judge that she doesn t have any feelings anymore because I have only seen her once since we broke up. So she can t say that she doesn t because she hasn t had the chance to see who I really am now. She sounds really confused and she doesn t no why she s doing this anymore. If she doesn t have the feelings anymore, why does she get so jealous, if those feelings aren t there then she doesn t need to be jealous because the feelings aren t there. And her friend s say that she brings me up at random points, like I just got my hair bleached, and my friend said that she just brought it up, out of the blue. She still says if were meant to be we will. But what s going on I know she doesn t like anyone else. I am giving her, her space and time. I really have changed and I know that if she saw me the way I am, better than the way I was before we started going out I know it would be better. She really isn t being fair on judging how she feels, cause she hasn t seen who I really am, I am glad we broke up because I see how I was, and I never wanted to be that way ever and I know not to go back. Do you think when she says if were meant to be we will, and if we ll get a second chance.

[lil_mamarains13]

I think you should let it go and move on. Otherwise you are wasting time sitting around wondering if you two are going to get back together. It is not worth trying so hard for if she doesn't have feelings for you because you can't make someone love you. She is jealous because she wants to be able to fall back to you out of habit and because it is familiar if she doesn't find someone else for herself. At least that is how I see it.

 

She is right if it were mean to be it will, but there is no need in putting your life on hold to wait for her to make up her mind. Don't worry about moving on and waiting for her because if it were meant to be somehow it will find a way. Remember too that she broke up with you. Give yourself a break from her also and see what the world has to offer.

 

Good Luck, and I hope I helped some.

[JesseMac]

I do understand that I need to move on, and I am I have been, but, do I keep contact with her. Just yesterday she went from saying she doenst have the feelings to thinking she doesnt. Im not making any contact with her, shes the one that comes to me. Mainly I am confused about what she is thinking, do you know what she might be thinking? She said when I was hard to get, thats what got her, so do I do that and see where it takes me? Do I say I will be friends with her?

[lil_mamarains13]

If she wants you to be hard to get you can, but then it is going to be a never ending cycle of the same thing. She dumps you, you become a challenge, and then you start all over again. That's ridiculous to do. Don't contact her, and don't wait around for her. If you want to be friends you can, but be careful with that. She is probably thinking that she has you and she knows it, and she can do what she wants until she gets bored with that and come back to you.

[JesseMac]

How do I show her that she doesnt have me? When Im on AIM and she AIM's me do I have a conversation or do I just say i got to go, im meeting people? Will that show her that she doesnt have me? Do you have any other suggestions?

[fantasia2004]

If you feel the need to contact her then do so but keep it short. Let her come to you. However if you do not want to continue hurting anymore than you already are then severe all ties with her all together and move on with your life. Remember you have control over this situation. It's up to you to decide what works for you. Ask yourself What kind of response do I want to get (or what will I gain) when I come in contact with this person? Will it be positive or negative? Take a breather and think about this one. However you are also welcome to keep the communication going and insist on being friends or more than friends if that is what you are looking for.

 

peace out.

[Wiediam]

I understand how you feel but keep it cool most of girls like a challange they don't go with guys with weak point but keep it cool. just do what you have to do. remmember you mind is a weak point for you right now and i understand is hard but try. my problem is even worst then you.in your situation I think you guys can still have the spark but remember don't think to much about it just go with the flow. if you want maybe just give her a casual contact, keep it short but don't go to far (talking about the past) and you have to finished the contact not her. if you able to attract her again then it is time for you to do the next step (which I will advise you later 8) ) but for now stick with casual contact at least minimum 1 a week. see what happens give us an update ok.

[JesseMac]

Ive had some other posts i dont know if you have seen them, so i will let you know how things have been going... My ex is a very stubborn, bullheaded and confused girl. She gives off the impression that she is stronger than she really is. She does this so her friends wont ask about me, but when they do she gives them a short answer, like if its meant to be it will, but mainly just tries to brush them off cause its hard for her to talk about it/me. Recently a friend of hers asked her is she still thought about me and she said "yea i do, he was a big part of my life." Its been over a month and she said that about a week ago. I told her at one point on AOL that "i didnt want it anymore" she tried to ask what but i didnt answer just said i had to go and signed off. I wasnt rude or anything, but my friend who is friends with her ssaid that it made her mad, but she could tell my ex was thinking about things. I told her that because i didnt want her to think she had me. Was that smart? After that i was kind of hard to get i didnt talk to her at all really. But last sunday i asked her if she wanted to hangout on sunday as friends, and she said "that sounds like a lot of fun, but i have a lot of homework and im feeling alittle under the weather, but maybe another day!" I know she was honest about it because her girlfriends that i am friends with told me they were going over there. She has never wanted to be friends with an ex before, but she wants to with me. Do you think its a sign that she is still keeping the door for us open. About two weeks ago i told her i didnt know if i could be friends with her. And i know that it made sad so when i asked her i think it made her happy in a way. Just tell me what you think about everything and what i should do about contacting her. Thanks!

[Chrysalis_77]

Leave her and move on, that's all i can say...unless your feeling for her is still there and strong. You both will learn and experience new things so don't waste your time wondering and wondering

 

Chrissy

[JesseMac]

Believe me if i didnt have the feelings for her and think that she was over me i would move on, but i dont believe that shes over me and i dont think shes lost them at all. Otherwise i would move on, i am, but i do think that us together again can happen.

[fantasia2004]

If you believe so then do it but act on it naturally and take it one day at a time. Don't rush it. The more you push the more you drive them away. I learned that lesson and I am experiencing this right now as I write to you. I hope everything works out for the best. If it does not and I know this sounds cliche then you will know she was not meant for you. See what happens. Don't be like me. Think before you act and speak.

 

Good luck Romeo!

[JesseMac]

Im sorry to hear about what your going threw. But when you say dont push it, do you mean let her come to me? Or should i initiate a conversation?

[fantasia2004]

Yes indeed I mean that. My ex and I saw each other almost every other day it became addictive I did not let him breathe or gave him a chance to miss me and because of that he has grown tired of me and tried to use me by taking advantage by borrowing money even though he has a girlfriend. I can't go into that anymore it hurts just explaining it. I still think he is a good person underneath but he has to grow up and change for the better.

 

For your situation, you need to take it slow. I understand that any sign of a response from your ex makes you get happy but don't give her that inclination because that means you are giving her way too much power to string you along. Think about it. You have to know what her intentions are. Think about the posts I sent you before. Reread them so that you get the picture. For you, mean what you say, say what you mean. Do not be wishy washy like me, otherwise you will pay the price for your actions. Give it time. Besides you said that you have changed and maybe that if had gone back to her it would be all or partially wrong for you. However if it is killing you inside to know ask to sit with her somewhere and find out where both of you stand as far as the relationship is concerned. Take it slow AND yes let her come to you. She must tell you what she wants and if she is not straight forward then move on. It spares your feelings and less time on your patience. You are young. Enjoy what life has to offer. Look forward not backwards. I am beginning to realize that with my ex. If I had not called him and badger him so much he would not have turned into the cunning little rat that he presented towards me. It hurts but I will always love him despite everything. Besides it is his girlfriend's problem now not mine. Trust me, I know what you are feeling. DO NOT BE LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!

[JesseMac]

Im so sorry to what your going threw that really sucks, i thought i had it bad. But i havent ever really talked to her let alone seen her, its been a week since ive said a word to her. I would have done the same things you did if i didnt have my brother to help me. Your right about when i get a response from her but its because i dont talk to her much anymore, atleast for right now. We are both very stubborn. The reason she broke up with me is basically because she wanted space, she said other things but they didnt mean anything i know its just because she wants to be free for right now so ill give it to her. Im just affraid she wont give me the chance to see who i really am now. Because i think she would change her mind if she saw. Do you have any other suggestions? Thank you very much.

[fantasia2004]

Read this it is very long but it should help you......

 

Princess777 wrote:

I still say love is not a game. The way I look at it, if you still think it's a game, and you're still playing those games, then you're not ready for a serious relationship, and also you need to stay single cause you fit right in. How can you expect someone else to be serious with you if you're not serious with them? I think the game playing stems from being insecure and it feeds the ego to think you can "get over" on someone else. This is sad. Once you realize what is really important to you, you'll be tired of playing games and you'll just want to love someone for who they are, not for what they can offer you, and you'll want that person to love you for who you are, not because you were the star quarterback at your game.

 

Just my two cents. Good luck.

 

 

You are not taking the meaning of "game" as I intended. When I am dating someone, I am serious. If I realize I am still not in it thinking it could be for "keeps" (read marriage, etc.), then I get out and would tell everyone else to get out of the relationship immediately.

 

I bear a bunch of guilt from a relationship that happened many years ago that I allowed to continue for too long. Even though I was honest and cared about her, I was not in it for keeps. It hurt too much even for me the dumper when it ended and causes me to still feel guilt, for me to ever consider not being serious about a relationship. I do not play my "game" just for fun.

 

I also realize that certain conduct can drive another away, or create an imbalance in a relationship, or just lead to the other losing interest. Such conduct must be avoided, if you hope to start or restart a relationship.

 

One such type of conduct is telling or declaring a need for the other person. Telling them you love them, want them, etc. can do the same thing if done at the wrong time or too much. When actually in a relationship, not trying to get it started or restarted, you need to say these things. People are attracted to those who stir their emotions without beeing needy, that is while remaining independent, aloof and vague. Knowing how to do that in your own way is what I call a "game". Not knowing leads to failed and bad relationships. It is serious when I play. Unfortunately, the same skills I try to use and develop are the skills used by "players". The problem is not the skills, but the motive for using them.

 

Last edited by Beec on Thu Feb 19, 2004 2:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 2:43 pm Post subject:

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

dikaia880

Member

 

 

 

Age: 24

 

Joined: 26 Jan 2004

Posts: 87

Location: Minnesota, USA

 

It's almost easier to say this. Every person is different, and thereforeeee different things get their emotions going. Some may need to be told constantly their loved, others are driven away by it. It's the basic reason behind why people fall in love with different types of people. My personality is going to attract a certain group of women, Beec's will be different, Princess' will attract a certain type of person as well.

What does make a difference, is that when attempting to attract someone you can bend your personality a bit, without going outside of who you really are...I can be confident if I let myself be, I can be emotional or seemingly lack all emotion...It all depends on what the situation is. Sometimes you can control yourself better than other times...I think thats whats really "the game" the ability to control yourself and be a "social chameleon" if you will, being able to adapt to situations in one of the qualities of a great salesperson...and really thats what we all do when we like someone or if we're out at the club, beach, mall, wherever we try to find someone...we market ourselves. Simple marketing, with advertising and a little public relations mixed in.

_________________

"You can lose all your money, You can lose all your gold...BUT you can never lose your Heart, you can never lose you Soul..."

from "a crazy game of poker" by OAR, their music gives perspective to life

 

I hope it helps if not then get back.

[JesseMac]

Im kind of confused, are you telling me to move on? I understand what they are saying and its helpful but what am I supposed to think of it? Or how am I supposed to relate to it?

[fantasia2004]

Okay here is the deal. Sorry for taking so long to contact you.

 

After carefully reading over and over the posts including mine, the question is do you really want her in your life or do you think that it is better to move on?

 

What do you really want? What is the right thing to do? Do you feel that if she feels the same about you is it worth getting back with her. These are questions to ask yourself if not her.

 

Demand slowly but surely and know what you want. Tell her how you feel. Ask her to explain what she wants and if she would like to try again to start over.Find out, but again take your time. Slowly.

 

Right now I am taking my time and finally moving on. It still hurts but I would have healed by now and hopefully I can forget him.

[JesseMac]

Your right, I will do that, because right now im not so sure. So I'll just take sometime and think about it. I'll get back to you, when some things start to happen. Thank you very much for everything!