Ive lost him

[Lucid]

So last night while in bed after asking my partner on the phone earlier on in that day if he was thinking of breaking up with me and he said no, he turned to me and said "I lied to you earlier I am breaking up with you"

Now this is about 12:30am while we are just falling off to sleep, I sat up got out the bed and shouted "what"?

He said it again and I asked why?

He told me it was because he didnt want a relationship anymore, he didnt feel the same or happy and hadnt in a while.

I cried a bit and eventually he went to sleep on the sofa, we didnt argue and we didnt shout its not a bad break up its just a very sad one.

Im now left with a house to pay and not alot of money to do it in, Im loosing my net connection, sky, probably my guinea pigs and hopefully not my job since we work together.

Im just finding it hard, Im not crying or anything just going to have to learn to live on my own again, well apart from the dog we got together, thing is I wont get rid of the dog, Im keeping him and he will really be the only thing that will keep the house from feeling very very empty!

I dont know want I want out of this thread really Im just needing to get this out and try get my head straight, as its not really the bed time of year to be doing this on the be honest, its never easy but this is making it worse.

 

So yea, another lonely person at xmas

[Truth317]

What do you believe led to you guys breaking up?

[Lucid]

I think it could be the age gap even though he is only 3 years younger than me, Im 22 he's only 19.

I find him irritating and lazy at times, at home not so much because I will ask him to do things and he will so I wasnt the only one doing house work, but at work he just doesnt want to get interested in it, do things, stop being lazy and set up to the role he was given, but then he just doesnt bother so that frustrates me.

I probably nag at him alot but its really only because I love him, to try help me, his health, life, work etc but I thinkn its pushed him the wrong way.

Maybe he doesnt find me attractive anymore but Im not to sure on that one.

[mijo]

were you guys living together?

how long were you together?

 

I'm sorry that sounds like an awful break-up, the timing is never perfect but when lying in bed that must be hard.

 

Have you seen or spoken to him since?

 

I would try and talk things through if he is willing, but don't beg for forgiveness if you don't believe you have done anything majorly wrong, wait to hear from him

[Mutley]

When my wife left....I was determined to keep my finances together. I was successful and kept the guinea pigs.

[drewciouS281]

I too went through a sudden break up last year right before thanks giving. and on top of it we had just moved into a house that i built for her for a meer three weeks. I lived alone for just over 7 months and yes it was lonely as hell at first but you have to do things to keep you occupied. Go to the gym, be active, hang out with friends and family often and this doesnt mean go out and get wasted! worst idea! Take a time out from the social scene for a couple weeks and focus on what you need to do for you and why your better off without him. RIght now your just in the early stages of the break up and have tunnel vision. this will start to subside but make sure to keep no contact. when i was 19 there was no way i was ready to settle down. people have to experiance thier twenties a bit single. you will be ok.

[alli]

I'm sorry. Break ups really suck. There's not much you can do to make you feel better the first few weeks but remember that one day not too far away the pain will subside. I'm glad you'll still have the dog to keep you company. Maybe you could consider getting a roommate in the next month or so. That will make it even less lonely & the extra rent will really help you cover the bills.

[Truth317]

Even in the most perfect of relationships, when you split up you always can find something you may have done wrong. Even if it was being supportive of counter-productive behavior. There's always room for learning. And I try to think of that when in the right frame of mind.

 

Age is not so much important these days. What's really important is where you two meet up intellectually.

 

I met a woman once, nice girl... really nice. But intectually she just wasn't where my state of mind was and I had to let her go. Think long term when you shop around for a guy/gal.

 

Good luck