What I've Learned

[Beaker5]

1. Mutual Friends are always a struggle.

Suggestions

-make your own friends (and keep them)

-keep the number of friends small

-don't DATE within the FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE!!!! (chances are you will lose

your friends and he will keep them when you guys break up)

*I don't regret the relationship with him because I've learned things but I do regret that he was part of our circle...He lives with 3 of our mutual friends and 4 other friends live right next door to him on campus, so he has everyone's support. I have no one. I have the two mutual friends that live off campus so I don't get face to face help, and they're usually busy so I can't get 24 hour support.

 

2. Keep your life separate from his.

Suggestions

-go to the gym

-spend time apart (take some time for yourself)

-concentrate on your work

-don't get jealous when he makes comments about the attractiveness of

other girls

-be confident (fix yourself up so you could look pretty and get

compliments from other people which will help your self esteem, also, WEAR THE CLOTHES YOU BUY! (stop "saving your clothes for when you lose some weight or when you get the perfect matching accessories; you never know if you'll die tomorrow and all that clothes will have been wasted)

-go to clubs, parties, and beaches without him and enjoy yourself

 

3. DON'T be a control freak.

Suggestions

-If something he does bothers you, ask him nicely at first if he could do

what you ask; if he doesn't continue to do it, don't nag him-try to

change your standards (realize that no one is perfect (including you)

and don't let little things bother you)

 

4. If it Doesn't work.

Suggestions

-Make sure you've learned something from the relationship and apply what

you've learned to your life. Change for the better; Change is good.

-Try to remain positive even if you're feeling depressed(nobody likes a

mopey person); I've noticed that the two people that live off campus

that have been helping me are now avoiding me online...so I've stopped

crying to them.

-Put on makeup if you have acne; Fix your hair if it usually looks like a

mess; Believe and know that you are beautiful. Go to the gym; push

yourself to work out..you'll start feeling better.

-If you hadn't taken care of something because of the relationship, get it

done NOW! (You'll feel like you've accomplished something)

-Now that your head is clear, keep your eye on the prize (your goals).

Don't be sidetracked by relationships. Also, don't let anyone make you

doubt yourself and your potential. At the end when everything else is

gone, all you have is your passion so don't lose that!

 

5. When starting a new relationship

Suggestions

-DON'T JUST JUMP into a relationship (think about it, get to know the

person, observe how they are around their friends; if anything they do

bothers you, STOP RIGHT THERE, they're not going to change for you

and you shouldn't want someone to change anyway)

-COMMUNICATE (you need to speak with the person you're in a

relationship with; if there's a problem, you need to talk about it and not

let it build up inside

-IF the relationship ISN'T WORKING (try, but if trying doesn't work, give up). I'm a very driven individual and even headstrong at times which is why I didn't admit to myself that it wasn't working when we were fighting all the time. It's hard to give up on something that seems to have so much potential because it's so new but you'll be saving yourself a lot of heartache.)

 

 

ABOUT ALL OF THIS

I'd like to think that I've learned this from my relationship and who knows, maybe I have...but will I apply everything I've learned to a new relationship? That's the hard part. How does a person change who they are? How is it that after you've been writing a book your entire life, you suddenly have to burn it and start a new one?) These things aren't that easy and I doubt if they are actually possible.

[Cognitive_Canine]

All good suggestions.

 

In general, don't lose yourself when you find someone else.

[Creative]

1. Mutual Friends are always a struggle.

Suggestions

-make your own friends (and keep them)

 

Make them? A bit challenging for those who aren't as technologically advanced.

[crab62]

that once a man leaves you don't go back... he left you for a reason, and that probaby isn't going to change. don't fool yourself and take him back only to be left again. take it from me... first time shame on you... second time shame on me.

 

you young ones on this forum... don't make the mistakes i made. don't waste your time on the ones that can't and won't commit. don't try to change them, they won't change... just as you won't.

 

spend your time finding someone that you gel with... inside and out.. if it works, it'll work.. but gawd don't do what i did. nab the good one when you get him.. the grass is not greener on the other side.. in fact, it's more burnt.

[Beaker5]

lol Thanks Creative...

 

crab62, what you said was really helpful. Can you please give me more advice?