Straight girl, Lesbian Experience...

[Shylight]

So I met a girl a few years younger than me last year and she invited me on vacation with her family. She's gay and I'm straight, but I realized soon after I met her I had quite a bit of a crush on her...anyway, on the last night of that we didn't fool around exactly, but I basically experimented with her 'masochistic (sp?)' tendancies...scratching the neck and such...anyway...nothing else came out of that night except I was terrified I had offended her when she suddenly turned away from me said she was going to bed.

 

A year and half later we were still in touch, and she again invited me up to her over thanksgiving. ( we live in different states)....

 

This time...things did happen. We were in the bed together cuddling talking about sexual interests and what not, when she basically urges me to bite her.. (a fetish of hers) I was nervous as hell, seeing that I liked her but knew I wasn't exactly good at that sort of thing. But I proceed to experiment....and I certainly don't make fires burn but I do get some reaction I'm of course loving this...then...she asks me to stop...and we go back to cuddleing....and then she kisses me. A very light brush, hardly there...she whispered, 'sorry' and I replied 'No worries...it's ok'...our faces are so close and we're touching...I'm hoping she's does it again...and then she whispers "Is it ok?"

 

and I nod...and then we are having a light make-out session as she's not a hard kisser....(I'm on fire...)....then she stops....does it again...stops...and then we are cuddling a little more, and than like before she turns over to sleep...

 

I guess I am trying to make out the nature of this experience. I know she isn't into me, as we had talked about her past relationships and she admitted she was into this other girl and such. (my 'if you could date one person who would it be' question certainly wasn't me!) and I'm guessing this was a 'I'm in the moon to cuddle/kiss/ect.) and your here' moment....which I knew...still, I'm feeling attached... I wondering if someone could me make sense of this? I think I'm starting to question my sexuality becuse of this. She texed me back saying she was sorry and it was a stupid thing to do...to which I replied it was all right, and sorry if I did anything to offend her.

[agent1607307371]

She fancies you. Maybe not as much as the other girl, but she does fancy you.

[volpe]

she probably does fancy you but first of all you identify as straight. so in her eyes, that's probably a warning sign of potential heartbreak. i lived with 4 lesbians, 1 bisexual, and 2 sort of bisexual but mostly straight women. and i can tell you from that experience, that your sexual identification is a huge red flag for relationship... and just because she is lesbian doesn't mean she just wants to have sex either, she may be looking for a relationship and you aren't relationship material for a lesbian... at this time... just because you are questioning isn't good enough!

 

also, if she is really into this other girl... then there's your answer right there...

 

unfortunately, i think she was fine cuddling, making out and some harmless fooling around, but at this time... she isn't ready for more...

 

you can tell her how you feel, that might help, but you need to be sure what you want and tell her exactly what that is. are you looking for just a fling? a potential relationship?

[ionZero]

I'd start by telling her you're bisexual. Because, even if you identify as straight and are mostly straight, if you have this serious a crush on her and want to be with her this badly then you're definitely bisexual to some degree. And, as volpe said, she probably figures you're unavailable because you say you're straight - if you just casually mention that you think you're bisexual, then suddenly that door opens.

[Shylight]

I did tell her I had some bisexual tendancies, but I didn't tell her about my crush on her...I don't know if she even guessed, but how could she not? After all, I was the one who put my arm around her in the first place and said yes! I'm scared to tell her cause I don't want to drive her away, even as a friend. She and I are both quite frigid from previous experiences and body esteem....though we both have the same craving for physical affection.

 

I would like a relationship with her...I just know she isn't into me...and again, and am too scared to tell her because I don't want to lose her