17 year old with a baby and abusive father update

[Bandit_misser]

a couple of weeks ago i wrote post about my friend and her baby and i got a few post back and thank you for those.

 

Bandit_misser

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Joined: 21 Jan 2004

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hey my name is amy and i have a friend that i go to school with that her father beats her up a lot and she has a 8 month old baby............2day she came into school with a huge bruse on her head and she told me that he father got mad cause she was talkin on the phone to a boy and punched her..................he is also starting to handle Caleb (the baby) really crappy to like he other day caleb was tryin to pull himself up on the table like tryig to stand and he took calebs arm and pulled it down o he would just sit on the floorand caleb started to cry and sammy (my friend) went togo pick him up and he told he not to touch him (and it is sammys baby)..............does anyone know if this is abuse.......is there anyone i can call for her i talked to her about goin to a home with kids with kids and abusive parents and she said she don't want Caleb in someting like that..... and does he hae the right to do tha to her baby?

 

thanks

 

 

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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2004 3:21 pm Post subject:

 

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thePuma

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I am not sure if under legal terms that is abuse, but think it is. In my country there are associations that fight to put an end to this kind of stuff, but where you live there might not be any. In that's case, go to the local police, they will know what to do. They can give you some information on what to do, or even investigate about the case. If you do this, make sure, you don't warn the father until you're sure he can't hurt this girl again, for example, arresting him for child abuse during 6 months would only make things worse.

 

Meanwhile, aren't there any places where she can run to? Her mother's house? Grandparents? Even friends? That situation is not ok for either the girl and the baby. This father might need some help too, but I can't tell how...

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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2004 3:30 pm Post subject:

 

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avman

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Yes, this would be considered abuse. If he hit her, thats not acceptable. Also it sounds like the baby is in trouble also. He is handling the baby too roughly.

 

She (or you) can call a battered womens shelter for some ideas. Or if she's underage she might be able to contact social services for assistance. They may be able to help her under this situation.

 

This isn't something I would let just go. I doubt her father will change his tune if nothing is done.

 

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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2004 3:34 pm Post subject:

 

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lil_mamarains13

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Yes that is abuse. To punch you own child is just cowardly. There are ways to punish your children to teach them to be good, but to ball your fist up and hit them. Especially for a grown man to hit a 17 year old girl. That is pathetic. As you can tell I don't like abusers, and the worst part is the person being abused nearly has to be dead before the law does anything about it. That is how it is here where I live anyway. I would contact your local police and talk to them about it and the laws of child abuse. You might also talk to a teacher, principal or counselor at your school about it. But be careful because like avman said you could make it worse for her unless he is completely out of her life to where he can't hurt her and her baby anymore. I hope I helped and keep us updated.

 

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well i talked to her about calling the cops and she did the next time it happened and the cops didn't believe her at all....... i talked to my teacher at school about it 2 and she gave me a phone number for a home so she called it and she really wanted to go to get out of the house......... her father found the number and is now threating her to take caleb away from her if she goes anywhere.........and i was like sammy the only way that they can take caleb from u if they have proof that you are a unfit parent.......and she is not at all she is a really good mom for being a teenage mother...........her father told her that he has proof that she is a unfit parent.........and she don't want to take any chances.....her father is someone that can just make up something a get away with it..... please help me help her

 

Amy

 

 

[Tinkerbell]

Hello. I'd like you to know that I think it's very kind of you to be so concerned about your friend, and I'm sorry that so far nothing has put an end to the abuse. Authorities can be awfully tricky (and frustrating...) My aunt's husband used to beat her and whenever she went to the police they didn't believe her. Your friend, I believe you said her name was Sammy, needs to get out of there immediately. Does anybody else in her family know her father's abusive habits? Perhaps she could stay with them for awhile, so the baby won't have to grow up in a shelter. If that's not at all possible (they are all on his side) then she should leave anyway. Staying at shelter for a little while will not affect Caleb, especially since he is so young. The baby will have no idea that anything bad has happened, and he'll certainly be free to teach himself how to stand up, walk, etc.. If Sammy still refuses to go to a shelter, suggest that she stays with a friend for a little while, even tho I don't think that's the best idea. The point is, she's just got to leave that house! If a baby takes a blow to the head, the consequences could be fatal.

I wish them the best of the luck...

[avman]

I agree with Cherrylicious, it sounds dangerous for her to stay there.

 

She shouldn't worry about the threats of her father. They don't just take children away for no reason. You did the RIGHT thing by talking to your teacher about it. Those safe houses are wonderful places and they can provide help to your friend. They usually have counselors and legal assistance available so if her father tried anything like he is threatening they would help her defend herself.

 

This just sounds way too dangerous to let her stay there. Please encourage her to head to that safe house so she gets some peace. Then she will have some time to consider her options about what to do next.

 

avman