saturnreturn Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 Hi guys, Here's the latest. (Background, long story short: my ex and I were together 3 and a half years, very serious, up and down relationship... We broke up because he was getting more and more distant, didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. I should add that he has some issues about commitment in his life in general, although when he is commited he is 110%... He broke up with me in May, we both knew it was coming. These have been the hardest 6 months of my life.) I have been doing better over the past couple of weeks. I feel alive again. I am flirting with men and allowing myself to be open to others. It's like the worst is behind me, I am over the hump. Last week my ex sent me an email with lyrics to a very sad song we both like about not being able to let go of something that is over. He and I have been LC (all contact initiated by him with the exception of one time I asked him to drop off my laptop at my apartment) for about 3 months or so. I always respond to him but try and keep it brief. Then on Monday he calls me and tells me how depressed and anxious he is feeling, that he misses me, that he misses what we had, and that he'd like to go to brunch. I don't know what to do. I have worked so hard to accept the fact that it's over, that he and I were never going to work, that it was/would be just too hard, that it wasn't right... and now he wants to have brunch and talk. What should I do? My first though tells me it's a bad idea, I'll just get caught up in it again, seeing him is always hard... and then what? We pretend the past never happened? My first thought... then my second thought is wouldn't it be nice to hang out... Any advice welcome. Link to comment
waveseer Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 Are you interested to find out if his commitment issues have cleared up? Link to comment
saturnreturn Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 I think his struggle with commitment is an ongoing one that affects all areas of his life. I know he loves me and obviously misses the connection we had, but in the past we've been unable to move forward. It's probably not all his fault. I can't imagine going through another break up like this... Link to comment
waveseer Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 So you are certain that he hasn't resolved it yet. Personally, I would find it too difficult but I also found lc to be too difficult so maybe you are better prepared. Link to comment
Jim2007 Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 I would avoid going, if he hasn't fixed up his issues going to lunch with him will start you right back at at the beginning of the healing process, unless you fell like you're over him. Link to comment
saturnreturn Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 I would avoid going, if he hasn't fixed up his issues going to lunch with him will start you right back at at the beginning of the healing process, unless you fell like you're over him. And if I was over him (which I don't think I totally am), then what would be the point of going to brunch? Can we go and talk? What does having brunch mean? Are we having brunch as friends? I'm so confused... Link to comment
luvs2kayak Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 Maybe in a non-confrontational way, you should ask him why he wants to do this. Then make your decision based on how his answer sits with you. Link to comment
saturnreturn Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 Maybe in a non-confrontational way, you should ask him why he wants to do this. Then make your decision based on how his answer sits with you. That sounds like good advice. Maybe I'll give him a call and we can chat. Link to comment
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