hi there

[pete2002]

just wondering if anyone else can tell me if this has ever happened to them...

 

has anyone ever gone into a new relatoinship wtih someone new when they still had a TON of unresolved feelings for someone else, and then had that relationship work.. i dated a girl for 3.5 years, then broke up wtih her... then nine months later, after she had tried to get me back, i realiezd i wanted her back, at which time she had moved on.. five months and many mixed signals later, we are as far apart as possible...

 

during the nine months i had broken up with her, there was a girl i was very interested in who i didnt date because i was afraid of hurting my ex.... that girl is still in the picture... do you think there is any chance a relationship wiht her could work, even though i obviusly have more feeilngs for my ex at this point... i cant wait too long, because this girl wont be around that much longer...

 

thanks

[The Morrigan]

It depends on where your feelings for your ex are really coming from. You said she tried to get you back for 9 months and you, her for 5... that's a LONG time since you've been together. Do you want her in a realistic way - or are you thinking what your relationship could be like ideally, with her as the girl you were with before? She won't be the same girl, just as you've grown and changed so has she - so be honest with yourself just where your desire to get back together with her is coming from - you'd be starting something new with EITHER of them. If it was basic personality differences that caused the breakup or issues the first time with your ex - those don't change or go away either, actions can be more considerate, but the basic feelings about the situations/issues will be the same.

 

Consider carefully what it is you're REALLY looking for, and even write it down - and that should help clear things up a little bit for you.