i dont know whats wrong with me... am i the only one?

[imstill_your]

ok, i honestly think i have a problem with controlling myself.

 

i get so anxious and i just freak out. i always over exagerate things and then later on, when im calm i look back on how i acted and i feel embaressed. and its not a once in a while thing, it happens a lot.

 

its so hard for me right now to even explain how i feel/act cause im not entirely sure. im not sure why it happens and i dont remember everything. i just know i get so angry and i hit my self cause i just can control my anger anymore. and no matter how much i try to calm down and not over react and everything, i just cant seem to control myself.

 

when i try to occupy my self and do something to get my mind of things, i get this terrible feeling in me. its so hard to ignore it and make it go away. i get so worried and i panic. it happens a lot when im waiting for a phone call and i end up calling the person and seeing if they remembered to call, or if there ok.

 

i think its cause i feel really lonely most of the time, and i get scared to be forgotten about. even though i have no reason to be so scared.

 

i have 1 loving boyfriend, but i just cant seem to stop worrying and worrying so much will cause him to get annoyed and leave me, which causes me to worry more.

 

i just really dont know how to deal with my emotions and everything i seem to try doesnt help. please let there be someone else with the same/similar problem as me, cause no matter how hard i try to find a solution or at least someone that can relate i can't.

[enchanted771]

You need to hold back. I did the same thing, and my b/f broke it off. So, whatever you do, dont let him see that your freaking out. Relax, take a deep breath, read, watch a movie, whatever you have to do

[sedated]

No you're not the only one who experiences these feelings. Ironic as it may be, but you're not alone in being afraid of being alone. Sounds to me like you have a fear of abandonment. Have you ever lost someone close to you? Did someone from your early childhood leave you?

 

The previous poster was right in saying that if not handled correctly this might drive you boyfriend away. But the issue is larger than merely that. I don't think this is something you can solve by simply preoccupying yourself with other things. This has the potential to sabotage all your future relationships if it is not addressed. To that end, may I suggest that you inform your boyfriend about your reactions to loneliness and see how he responds to it.

 

There's nothing seriously wrong with you and there are plenty of people out there whose greatest fear is being alone. I think that your feelings of intense anxiety arise from issues that you might have repressed. Specifically, you might have experienced the pain of someone having left your life before. You may or may not have repressed that memory so that you have no recollection of the incident, leaving only the feelings of pain and loneliness that you carry with you.

 

OP, if what I have just said above makes sense to you, maybe you should find yourself a fear of abandonment support group online that can help you to better cope with this. If you have the means to do so it might not be altogether unthinkable to seek a professional therapist who can guide you through either.

 

Do take care =D

[imstill_your]

thanks guys.

i think i will look for a therapist. but i just dont how to find one. there so hard to get... and expensive.

 

i think im just more afraid of my self then being abandoned.

[enchanted771]

I have the same issues, your not alone.

[blaine]

The root of your problem is most likely poorly controlled anxiety. This causes your mind to play tricks on you and make things seem so much worse than they really are, and because you are wound up as a result of the anxiety, you over react to the situations that you have blown out of proportion in your own mind. And you know what? Anxiety tends to be an upwards spiral, so over time, if untreated, your baseline state becomes even more tightly wound with an even shorter fuse.

 

The solution? Talk therapy and/or meds to control the anxiety and discover the underlying causes so they can be dealt with. Rarely, if ever does the problem go away on its own, and even if it does it can take years...of misery.

[imstill_your]

i did go to the doctor once, and he set me up with a psychiatrist, and he told me that i did have anxiety. so he gave me some anti-depressants. they seemed to help, i never got fully better. then i went away for a few months to visit my sister and i ran out of them. and he refused to put me on them agian cause he was a psychiatrist for youth, so once i turned 18 he couldnt help me anymore. and i was nearing that age.

 

last night i had a really bad anxiety attack. i was so stressed out and i couldnt sleep and it was still a bit early so i called my boyfriend. I got so worked up over everything i couldnt speak and i just kept hypervenilating. he just told m,e to calm down and call him back when im calm.