Breaking up with someone over confusion and truly reconciling, does it happen?

[tattoobunnie]

My new ex-boyfriend said he didn't know what he wanted anymore and was confused. Up to about three weeks ago, we were together for a year and a half, and living together for half a year. He brought up marrying me early on, and we spent the time talking about our future together. Then he broke up with me saying that over the past few months, he couldn't picture marrying me anymore. While I admit that we may have moved so fast, and that a few months ago, we've hit a few rough patches from finding old emails to strange women he wrote to us losing a baby, and me really being unappreciative of him, he does say he liked a possibility of us working things out...but in the future, when he figures out what he wants. We have tentative plans to have a fun date for next week, but I think I am chickening out on th idea, even though he tells me stories of how others were in the same situation, but got their stuff together and are now married. We still love each other and miss each other, though...my question to everyone is, has anyone broke up with someone only to realize that they wanted them back, and things worked out?

[COtuner]

It does happen, but it sounds like you guys could use some relationship counseling. It sounds like you went through a roller coaster in a very short time, and you need to stabilize things in your own lives and in relation to each other.

[thedude27]

'tis love anything can happen.

 

Sure ppl can be confused and work things out. If you went too fast in your R that could be a serious problem, it sounds like that could be it, what do you think? You have to have time to go through the stages of your relationship. You have to question each other, have doubts, build bonds, etc then eveuntally figure out that you are or are not right for each other. Thats why when ppl have rebounds they dont usually work, they skip all that good healtyh R stuff and only have a bond on one level.

 

If that is the case maybe you should look at starting new, either with him or with someone else.

[HeartBrokn]

I think often confusion comes from people not really knowing exactly what they want out of life. Age is a very important variable in a relationship. Out of curiosity, how old are you guys? I think there are many times when two people are very compatible for each other but they get together at a bad time.

[tattoobunnie]

I'm 30, and he's turning 29...ah, yes we can be big immature kids at any age!

 

It may be too soon to see him, or it could be a fun time. I've asked him to keep it a secret as there are many people who would not be supportive of this get together of ours after everything has happened. I also wonder if I should cut my losses and move on, because I know I can't if I stay in communication with him. The few impartial minds I have mentioned it to, say, he how it goes. On the other side of the fence I have people saying to not trust him, and, "he wants his cake and to eat it too."

 

I asked him for the fun date after speaking to a friend, and he said that if too much time passes, it'll never work out. There is even more to the story...though I started remembering last night, there have been things I've said to him over the past few months that were harsh and out right mean, and I want to own up to that. He made a comment on the day we broke up, "if I gave you another chance, you'd find a way to cut me up into little pieces (figuratively) again." And I know I don't want to be that way. And even though we may have been fighting at the time over something, it was still no excuse to not fight constructively.

 

Though if I go on our date, I'm also not sure if I should bring that up, or just focus on the fun aspect?