IDK What to do, HELP

[Dazed330]

So, my ex wants a relationship again and idk what to do.

My friends hate her and if we got back together i would surely lose a lot of respect from them not to mention how pissed they will all be. I know to make my own decisions, but they hate her cause of how lost I was when we broke up and they know what it did to me. It's been over a year since we broke up and I still love her, and she still loves me and I believe its genuine because she's been trying to get in contact with me since the 6month mark in our break up and I've been pretty much trying to just push her away and force myself to move on. The problem is I never could and even wen I didn't think about it during the day if i went to sleep I would have dreams about us. I never really let the thought of being together again be a possibility the whole time until now. She also has hooked up with a lot of people while we apart saying because" she didn't know what to do with out me " and thats how she handled it. Idk what to do cause I do love her and being around her feels so comfortable and right, but I am also afraid of loosing my friends over this and what this will do with my relationship with them and idk if I can look past all the people shes been with......I am lost, idk what the right decision is

[nutbrownhare]

You don't say how long you were together before you finished - I assume she left the relationship.

 

Firstly, I doubt that your friends would lose respect for you. They would be concerned, yes, but I wonder if your concern about this is because there's part of YOU which would judge you as weak/stupid/whatever you imagine your friends would think.

 

Also, would you be able to look past all the people she's been with? Are you the same people you were when you broke up, or have either or both of you been able to grow as the result of your experiences in the last year? Is there anything to prevent what happened before, happening again? Are you feeling used? Have you created a fantasy in your own mind, based on an idealised version of the way things used to be, or are you taking into account the factors which caused you to split in the first place?

 

You're the only person who knows the answers to these questions, and I wouldn't dream of telling you what the right decision for you might be, but it might help to think about some of these issues before you make that decision.

 

Good luck!

[Dazed330]

we were together for 3 years before the break up, and I feel that your right about the way I view myself, I am judging myself as weak and dumb for thinking about going back to her because of my stupid male ego, like now that shes been with all these other ppl even though it was while we were apart its a slap in my face. Its so hard to handle cause if this was another girl it probably wouldn't affect me cause everybody has their history, and while we actually did date she never cheated on me but idk I know i never wanted to be that guy that says with a girl after shes done him wrong and even though this is different I am struggling with that feeling. and as far as growing, I've deff grown a lot in our year apart and as for her she seems to have but its too soon to really tell