my fiance doesnt want to have sex with me

[mikepiazza10]

we have been ingaged for over three years. i have cheated on her once but i told her that i did the next day. "she stayed with me cause i was honest." i love her very much and i want our realationship to keep going.about a month ago she told me she wanted to stop haveing sex until she found her self. "I dont know what that means" she wants to spend more time with her friends then she does me. i dont trust her cause of what i did to her im afraid she will do the same. she says that i should trust her cause she has done nothing to break my trust. What should i do?

[Frodo Baggins]

You should trust her. Has she ever done anything to question your trust in her? What you feel is the guilt of your own actions, and you're assuming she'll do the same unto you. She has the capability to do it, anyone does, but if she loves you, she won't and you need to have faith in her and trust her when she says she won't cheat on you.

[routerx]

Sounds like you should not be engaged if you can't trust her. Yes, you made a mistake by cheating, but you would be making a bigger mistake by marrying someone you don't trust.

 

I don't think (my personal opinion) that you should be having sex before marriage because of exactly what you are going through right now.

 

Normally typical advice could be given, but this is a rare circumstance because you are engaged. I would take it to a higher, more intense level, and meet with someone personally. A professional.

 

I would strongly suggest, being that you are engaged, to go see a couselor or clergy (if you are religious). I really think you have some big issues and your relationship is important, because you seem to close to wanting to be together for a lifetime.

 

Now is the time to get some help. How about the 2 of you make a visit to your Pastor or a counselor?

[SunnyScott]

Okay, her response to you kinda sounds a bit contradicting. How do you stay with someone who you think is honest, but cheated on you?

 

Hmmm...could it be that she did the same thing too? Anyway, since she is your fiance, and declined to have sex with you, I see this as a serious issue.

 

When I stopped wanting to be intimate with my partner, it was when I started getting tired of our relationship in general, and even though we were really close, inseperable, he just started to seem more like a brother to me. Clearly, at that point, I just couldn't invision feeling that physical desire for him.

 

It just faded, and it will never be there again. He just doesn't do it for me anymore...(Actually he never really did in the beginning, but as I fell in love with him more, my attraction to him grew even stronger).

 

Hope this helps!