Am I unloveable?

[jester5536]

Ok, feel free to laugh and point.

Yes I am a freak, I'm 22 years old and I've never so much as kissed a girl. What is worse however is the fact that acording to the rest of the world there is no reason out there that I shouldn't be afloat in women.

 

1.) People say I am fairly attractive

2.) I'm talkative in all of my classes and well regarded by students and teachers.

3.) People are always tellin me how much they enjoy my humor

4.) I have a good paying job (apparently supposed to be highly attractive?)

 

So why is it that I am always alone.

I have all the pieces that people say are important for what women want. why the...... why am I unable to put these pieces togeather to at least get a date? It's almost as if someone just came over and said, "oh, here is where you are going wrong", I could fix it and go on with life.

 

So, not that any of you know me, or really understand the exactness of my problem, but hell, at this point stabs in the dark would be better than nothing.

 

I gotta tell ya, this time of year is ALWAYS the most depressing for me, Valentines day makes me just want to go get freakin wasted, which is something I only do about twice a year .

[Frodo Baggins]

If you come accross as too outgoing and fun, you might be unapproachable to some girls, like you're someone that's having too much fun to settle down and have a date. It could be that, or it could be a matter of timing, and you just simply haven't found the right girl yet. There are really a large number of reasons, and it's not bizarre or strange. There are many people that look like they should be with companionship, yet have not come accross it yet. You need to get the point accross that you're not all social, that you're capable of being intimate with one person. Where a girl will feel comfortable just talking to you. Don't try to entertain too often, it can be a bad thing in the end.

[all is flawed]

you seem to have good qualities.....and i cant tell from your post but it seems that your problem may not be those.....

 

you arent gunna get dates and relationships by waiting for them to come to you......ecspecially as a guy. go out to clubs, to parties, to bars, social gaatherings with friends, ask one of you friends to hook u up on a blind date, even try internet dating......i dont think its you thats the problem, its your lack of initiative to go out and meet a girl.

[JSHRN]

Hi jester.

 

Whoah! Hold on! No one in this world is a freak. I think the issue is a negative self image and how you see yourself, as opposed to how others see you. You mention 4 points that people around you see in you...

1.) People say I am fairly attractive

2.) I'm talkative in all of my classes and well regarded by students and teachers.

3.) People are always tellin me how much they enjoy my humor

4.) I have a good paying job (apparently supposed to be highly attractive?)

 

 

Those are admirable qualities that should not be taken lightly.

 

Often folks label themselves as failures or rejects because they didn't perform so well on some task or got rejected by someone or something in life. It doesn't make us a bad person. It's just a lesson to be laernaed. A stepping stone in life. Each of us has many, many positive, neutral, and some negative qualities. Each of us possess millions of traits and behaviors. By looking at ourselves in a negative way we act in accordance with how we perceive ourselves. If we see ourselves as failures, we will tend to act that way.

 

All attacks on us and our personality are based on distortion. It's human nature to be less than pleased with our personality, our appearance, our hairstyle, our complexion, our job, our financial status, etc. There are so many variable and traits that make us unique to the world.When we label ourselves a fool or worthless we are seeing only one of our qualities and traits. You are a good person with a lot to offer someone. I will not point and laugh. I will point and say Welcome to eNotalone! Enjoy your stay. Please feel free to share your stories and post often. I hope you gain a lot of wonderful insight from this forum.

 

JSHRN

[jester5536]

Good point however, I would say I don't really come accross as a party animal. I mean, people seem to view me as just a "likeable kinda guy" I think I'd do better if I were a party animal. Personally I don't do college parties like most, I have an intense dislike/ distrust of drunk crowds. If I want to go out with someone I want it to be a sober person with a real personality, not some stoned/ drunk wench who can down more beer than I can. Not that drinking is bad, but I'm a very moderate laid back type of guy, I don't push anyone or anything, I just let it happen. And while this is works great for job, friends ect... women seem to be only interested in guys who force themselves on them like crude slobs.

 

bah

[all is flawed]

i too am not into the college party/alcohol scene at all. But i have found friends/relationships outside of that scene too. THrough ppl that live near me, classes, and friends from things like clubs. in general, i have found that true, some girls will be primarily drawn to a guy that is very outgoing, a partier, and such.....but how often do you see those relationships actually last and stay happy? and besides, you dont want a girl who is looking for that. if there is a girl your interested in, instead of asking her to a party, ask her to go out for coffee, or to a musuem, something that is intilectually stimulating. i think you will be pleasently surprised at how many girls would LOVE to have a guy that doesnt watch tv all day and only care about sports, sex, and drinking/partying. =)

[beebop]

Hay dude

 

il be honest talk to girl's like ur talkin to ur mum don't go bye look's cos they are only benafical and every one get's rinkel's and have confience in your self and what ur talkin about cos it's only a person don't be intimadated bye them . Good no's i was for some time until i asked me mam and that's what she said to me what i just said ..

 

hope this help's