After a month, what is this?

[Jennytwo52]

Hi, im new to this forum and im looking for some help/advice please.

 

I had a boyfriend, my first love, my first everything, for almost 3 years. We started dating at 15. The past year or so, things slowly went downhill. He did some things that a bf should not do, kept secrets, flirted around, etc...and i became controlling and pretty much paranoid. Bad mix, i know!

 

Well, weve broken up several times but none have lasted, until this one. HE technically did the breaking up this time, he never did before. He said that he loved me, he just couldnt be with me. After about a week of me begging him not to do this, i stopped texting/calling him. This lasted about 3 weeks, until HE texted me on sunday. It was a weird convo, i ended up asking him if he was ok and he said, "Im not sure anymore". He came into my work yeserday to get food, and i was on my break so i asked him why he contacted me, he said he didnt know but, started asking me q's about my love life, who i was with, who was i doing stuff with etc.

 

I just walked away, but when i got off my shift at 10, he was at my car. we talked for a bit, weird convo yet again, but he ended up kissing me, which lead to us making out, which ended up me having to leave but we sent uhm 'dirty texts' and planned to meet today after his school let out. We met up, ended up having sex of course, and that was it.

 

So, i need advice on what to do. We texted for a bit after 'today' happened, but then he went out with people and i went to work again so we havent texted since. I love him, he claims to love and care about me, but what is this then? If he cant be with me cause im 'crazy' then is this all he wants or ever wanted? Im just confused. If he's not doing this with anyone else, is it still ok for us to do it? Should i lay down rules? Could we ever end up geting back together if we keep this up?

[blue_dahlia]

Hi Jenny, welcome to ENA. I'm sorry that you're hurting.

 

We can't say if you would ever end up getting back together if you keep this up. We don't know.

 

What do you want?

[JiMmIyZ]

you seriously need to talk to him and get a better answer then i don't know, from my point of view all he wanted is sex and if so don't put yourself through it, guys like that make us look bad. If he does want to persue a relationship though, yeah lay down the rules

[Jennytwo52]

i dont think he wants to be with me at all, he has amde it clear. but, he says that hes comfortable with me, and when were together if feels no different than if we were in a relationship. i dont want to be nosy, since im not his gf anymore. but i feel like i want to ask where he stands with this...

[ruffles]

Asking a guy you're having sex with those types of questions isn't being nosey at all, it's communicating about where you each stand.

[ruffles]

Also, at the end of your post you asked if you could ever end up back together if you kept sleeping together like this up.

 

So that tells me you would like him to be your bf. So you definitely should find out if he's into getting back together or not, because otherwise he just might use you for sex until he finds someone else.

[redhearts]

Your his comfort zone, thats it. He wanted to try being single and having his fun.

[Jennytwo52]

Yea i guess so. He obviously doesnt want me for his gf, which is what i want.

[ruffles]

So what do you think you're going to do Jenny?

[Jennytwo52]

hey guys. thanks for the replies. im just here for an update of sorts...

 

The ex and i have continued talking/texting. weve hung out, probably bad ideas cause of all the things that ended up happening but oh well, cant take them back.

I recently asked him if he would ever consider being with me, as my boyfriend, again. He said plain and simple, not now...i just want to be single right now. He said that he loves me so much, cares about me...yada yada yada. But, he also tries to make me jealous about things still, which ill admit, work. But, i dont let him know.

 

This wknd, he wants me to come over and he wants to cook me dinner, and possibly spend the night since weve never actually done that, and hes got his house to himself for the wknd. Im contemplating going. Honestly, i DO want to be with him. I love him so much. BUT, at the same time, i feel like my world wont end because of anything to do with him. I think after this wknd tho, i might go low contact for a while, and try to leave sex out of anything to do with him.