Eye Contact

[d6d66d]

Hi, I'm currently a single 19 year old boy and I've noticed some things about girls when I talk to them. Whenever we engage in a conversation, she never looks at me even though I try to get eye contact with her. What's up with that?

[Mzs]

I've always had problems maintaining eye contact, still do with people I don't know very well.

 

It could be something as simple as lack of confidence or shyness.

[d6d66d]

I've been having this problem mainly with 2 girls. One of them I just met and have been talking to for a few weeks. The other I've known for nearly 3 years. I'm pretty sure this girl does not like me, but she always avoids eye contact when we talk and I sometimes find it really rude. I'm really hoping to find the reason behind this and maybe fix it up a bit.

[Tom the fool]

d6d66d, you say "girls." I take it, then, that you mean that this is a general phenomenon and not something dealing with only one or two girls, yes?

 

If that's the case, then it's probably not that she's shy, unless you find yourself gravitating to shy girls. If you're already having a conversation with these girls, I think it is peculiar that they aren't responding to your eye contact. I've found that I can almost keep people from leaving against their wills by keeping eye contact. It's almost always by accident. I'll say, "yeah, I know where the ice cream shop is, just go down the block and turn right." They'll say, "thanks," but they can't leave till I break eye contact. They just stand there, waiting … and I'm done talking, thinking, "what's up? I gave you instructions. Go get ice cream."

 

Is your attempt at eye contact natural enough? It's possible that you are sending off some unconscious signals that are making her uncomfortable. Does this happen with guys? Have you noticed? Are you talking about serious subjects with these girls that might cause them to look down in contemplation? Is laughter involved? Have you noticed the rest of their body language? If you lean forward in the conversation, does she respond by leaning forward? Do you notice any other kind of mirroring? Might she be distracted by other thoughts?

[d6d66d]

Well, I guess I was being too vague. Yes it is just involving the 2 girls. I usually don't talk about serious subjects. After all, they look away regardless of the subject the conversation is about. Laughter is definitely involved (I usually make them laugh a lot). I haven't actually noticed any body language (it's not something I notice, but I think its something I really should at least try to notice). Is this any clearer?

[Mandoro]

In my group of friends resides 2 girls. One could be considered shy while the other not so much. Now the shy one doesn't say much, but when she does and everyone focuses on her to listen she stares off into space to avoid eye contact. Now im not the only other person around so I know its not ugly mugs shes avoiding lol. The other girl though will play the group like a pro and will look at each person for a couple seconds and move to the next, just like a real story teller does.

[ghost69]

are you into these girls? they might get that impression and don't want to give you any signals.

[d6d66d]

are you into these girls? they might get that impression and don't want to give you any signals.

 

I am into these girls. What do you mean they don't want to give me any signals?

[ghost69]

I am into these girls. What do you mean they don't want to give me any signals?

 

they might not be into you and sense you are into them. hence trying not to give you signals. but on the other hand maybe they are just shy.