Dani0613 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Have you ever ended a relationship because the anxiety of being in a relationship was making you unhappy? It seems as though CP's that are in healthy, loving relationships run away from them once the fear of making that actual committment arises. The anxiety and stress associated with such gets to be too overwhelming and they bail. Just wanted others opinion(s) on this. Whether they've in fact been the dumpee or the dumper. Link to comment
elizmdavis Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I was with a guy once who just wasn't the commitment type. We lasted for 6 months and everything was great,,,but one day, it was done. So random. It was heartbreaking for me because I didn't understand. I am the commitment type, but even I get anxious about the future with someone. The anxiety does make me question my choice to stick around. "What if? What if? What if?" - when this keeps playing in my head, I've found that it just drives me crazy...my bf too. Having faith that the person will do their part, and that you will be able to do yours is strong medicine. Link to comment
klw777 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Have you ever ended a relationship because the anxiety of being in a relationship was making you unhappy? It seems as though CP's that are in healthy, loving relationships run away from them once the fear of making that actual committment arises. The anxiety and stress associated with such gets to be too overwhelming and they bail. Just wanted others opinion(s) on this. Whether they've in fact been the dumpee or the dumper. Hello, I am in this same situation now! My partner is looking to move in with me, relocate etc and get married. I took two steps forward and am now running twenty steps back with no idea how to resolve it I have ordered a few books about self esteem etc (I think this is a huge factor) and am going to take a few months to get to know myself, which I don't feel I do at all right now. Will update you as I go x Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I've been thinking about this recently. In the past I was a commitment type of person. My goals were to get a decent career (which I am working hard on), and eventually getting married, having a house and eventually and having children. But somehow that has all changed. I always thought I would want these things but I just don't anymore and I have no idea why. The thought of getting married and settling down makes me scared to the point where I feel sick and I no longer feel I want children. In fact I am almost 100% sure I don't. Link to comment
klw777 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Shoefairy - I know exactly what you are saying! I am working hard at a career (uphill struggle but I'll get there), I have a great social life and am studying gain also to look towards taking an MA. So why is it that my ideas towards more children (I have one 16 year old), marriage and settling down have now all become very unclear and quite frankly, terrifying!? I'm sorry this didn't help so much but it helped me to know there was someone else feeling just as I do! If you don't mind my asking, what are your honest feelings towards your other half currently? Are you planning a wedding and children soon or is it just something you've though about an it has worried you? Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Was that question aimed at me klw? Link to comment
klw777 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Sorry yes it was, should have made that more clear Link to comment
and again Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Have you ever ended a relationship because the anxiety of being in a relationship was making you unhappy? It seems as though CP's that are in healthy, loving relationships run away from them once the fear of making that actual committment arises. The anxiety and stress associated with such gets to be too overwhelming and they bail. Just wanted others opinion(s) on this. Whether they've in fact been the dumpee or the dumper. My ex, every time we took a step forward at her request , and every time it worked fine she ran, she had had bad rel`s in past. 1st time she had gone on about us trying for a baby, when i agreed she ran, only to come back two weeks later, sying she now knew her feelings for sure. 2nd time she wanted to take her kids to meet my mum and dad, we did it went great, same night she ran. 3rd time she lost our baby had only known about it a week , she couldnt deal with me helping her through it she ran 4th time, at present after 3months nc, she came back saying how she wanted it all was sorry for pushing me away over the baby, we got back for four days last week, it was good all round seemed natural, yep she ran again saying she couldnt handle a relationship and loves me but wants to be alone fore ever. How do i get through to her that if she just takes it easy with me i will prove to her that im not like the rest of her ex`s. Any advice would be very welcome thanks. Link to comment
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