single forever

[routerx]

Here's the deal. In my 20's, I didn't want to be married. I thought my friends were crazy to get married in their 20's.

 

Now, in my 30's, I have found that I cannot develop a relationship with anyone. Most women consider me attractive. I tend to draw women in, but when I meet them and get to know them, I prefer to be single.

 

I know I have a problem here.. I think it's because I live in an ideal world where everything is "perfect" in my little bubble. So, I'm going to have to put up with someone's problems. I have to admit, i don't have many problems ... I have a lot of money and I love my future... so I don't dump my issues on anyone... except for this one.

 

Can someone please help me out with some advice? Surely someone has been in this situation. How did you get over giving up your "clean and perfect" life for a messy one? I want a relationship and I'm willing to do it, I'm just wondering how to go about this madness!!

[Down-In-A-Hole]

Yeah, i've always been back and forth with what you're are struggling with now. However, once I get a girl i'm really attracted to both mentally and physically, everything falls into place as it shows me what I've been missing.

 

But then again, when I become single again, I'm always like, "damn, i've been missing this!"

 

Anyway, the answer to your situation is tough, but I think the best thing for you to do is keep an open mind when you get into a relationship. No one is going to be perfect. She might even mess up your little bubble a little bit. However, if she's right for you, the advantages of the relationship will far outweigh the negatives.

[CrazyKarl13]

I'm not in that situation, but I do have some kind of advice. maybe just TRY it! Nothing wrong with trying.. and trying to stick it out. Maybe just try being friends with a girl at first and that's IT! And then later.. you may start to like her for who she is and begin a relationship with her where you feel comfortable around her.

 

you really don't know what your missing without a good relationship. love is so awesome.. no matter what kind of mess it brings.. it's totally worth it. it's better to have loved and lost.. than to have never loved at all.. and that's the truth! Yeah, you'll have your problems.. but that comes with it and makes you human

[MrKawabata]

I can relate to your problem very well, except that I'm not quite 30 yet. Yes, life is easy by yourself, but can you live by yourself....forever? It is really something having someone else around. Unfortunately, one has to learn understanding, other peoples points of view, patience, and tolerance. It is easier solving your own problems, but being with someone else does help you grow as a person. All the best!

[Self Discoverer]

Hello Routerx

 

I think I can understand where you're coming from. I was always very happy and independent when I was in my late teens and twenties. This was partly borne of circumstance and partly my own psychological make up.

 

It was only when I met who I thought to be the love of my life that I saw the value of being there for somebody else and vice versa.

 

I'm pleased that you see this as well. There isn't any trick to giving up your independence, it is a case of slowly changing life patterns that have become habitual over time.

 

I agree with the other posters that you need to keep an open mind and not be afraid of change or of not being in control.

 

If I can suggest something, you seem to know where you are (not many do) and where you want to be. Write these down as succinctly as you can and it may become clear as to what you need to do to get there.

 

I'm sorry I can't be specific but I wish you luck on your journey

[routerx]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I think I've learned from this to keep a good and open heart and allow someone to fill it even more. Kind of like the "cup runnith over" with love... and yes... there will be some spills.. but all for the best.

 

Thank you.