HELP...feeling like breaking NC

[needs]

Its been just over 2 weeks of NC...about a month ago was the breakup. Tomorrow is our "would be" 2 year anniversary. I can't get her out of my mind. I have been having dreams of the last time I saw her...we got in a fight and I left her house upset. A few days later was the breakup over the phone. I havent seen her since that day i left. That moment is in my mind. I replay it and think if I hafn't left in the fight...we wouldn't be going through this right noiw.

 

I still want her back, I feel like over 2 weeks of NC is not going to get me there. She hasn't tried to get in touch nor have I. I'm not ready for another rejection but I really want her back. There was nothing wrong with our relationship it was just this 1 fight. This fight was an ongoing one but nothing to break up over. We had a romantic vacation the weekend before, and another romantic date the NIGHT befroe the breakup. I don't know what to make of this. She seemed to be so in love...

 

Any help t sort my feelings out would be greatly appreciated

[OrangeMoon]

Have you had continuing problems before...or did you just have 1 fight? If the latter is the case why did you break up then? I dont really understand this

[needs]

it wasn't really continued problems, it was 1 fight that we have been fighting about for a few months now. She had a medical issue that affected us and she wouldn't get help for it. (shes very stubborn) so after this fight happened again she apologized for a few days about not being able to help it. I didn't know if I could take it anymore so i told her maybe we should give each other some space. She didn't want that at all. She was not up for a break. I then decided thats not what I wanted and we should talk about it and come to a conclusion. she then changed her mind right away and said she wants the break because this fight always happens...After a few days of space here I am. NC for over 2 weeks and shes decided she wants to move on. I don't get it myself. How can you lose love for someone of 2 years when everything is fine pre-fight, but after this fight she wants out.

 

We were friends for 3 yrs before dating. I have been around her for the past 5 years and this is the first time i've been away from her and im very hurt. I want her back.

[OrangeMoon]

If the break up was done in a highly emotional state, then after your 2 weeks of NC i would contact her, make an appointment to discuss what's really happening between you. If in that discussion, you come to a clearheaded decision that you should still break up ( or that she still wants to break up), then ending al contact and go NC is the only way to go. Because then she truly knows that this is what she wants. she may have all kinds of reasons for that you will never understand.

 

it wil be hard as hell..but you have to let her go..right away.

And otherwise the 2 weeks was just about calming the water again. And one had to break the ice.

 

If the break up was uttered calmy and decisively leaving no room for misinterpretation..then i am sorry to say you are truly over ( for now or ever..only time will tell). There is no need in you contacting her. Let her go...and go on your path to heal. No anniversary contact..no nothing. She knows what she said..she knows what she has to do to mend the rels.. Might be that she is just not ready to do so.

 

If you call her and she ignores your calls (never call more than twice with space in between day or two) or rejects a meeting...then there is your answer as well. You are broken up then.

 

But please dont fool yourself..you know what the status is of your rels. If you kid yourself and act anyway it will blow up in your face. Are you ready for that. And using this ' confusion' to call her on your anniversary is not a good thing either.

 

I dont know Needs..but my feelings say...let her go..do not contact.

[needs]

Its been 2 weeks since comolete nc. The 2 prior weeks were the confusing times. The initial fight followed by the break. Then a few days later it was a break up and that turned into her finally telling me its done. Very mean I may say. She reacted that way bc I had called to ask her about something she wrote on facebook. She has never been a very stable person due to her depression. I mean we have broken up before and she's come back a month later. I never did nc then though. This is the first time in 5 yrs I haven't talked with her for more that 2 weeks. I'm not ready to lose her over a fight that I may have been selfish over. But how do I know if she's just fed up? Could fighting override how wonderful times we had together, even the vacation a week before that was amazing. Which she told me how amazing of a time she had.

 

She always thinks with her emotions and she's very stubborn. I just don't know if this is for real. And I'm scared to be rejected again

[CatsMeeoow]

two weeks isn't that long... though I know it feels like it...

 

I would continue NC for another 2 weeks and then see how you feel... perhaps then sending her an email or leaving a voicemail saying you'd like to talk.

[needs]

well its been a month since we had taken a break (haven't seen her face to face in a month) 2 weeks have been nc. does that change anything?

[CatsMeeoow]

no---- go 2 more weeks... you've come this far... you can do 2 more and re-evaluate

[needs]

no---- go 2 more weeks... you've come this far... you can do 2 more and re-evaluate

 

 

ok, thank you...i just don't know if I am losing her forever if I wait too long. Shes the love of my life and at 2 yrs of dating I don't know if she is getting over me. I don't see how she couldn't miss me...we had so much fujn together. She was my best friend

[needhimso]

Yeah I know how you feel. Seriously try to keep up NC for at least two more weeks. She will think more of you if you respect her wishes and give her the space she wants. It may not get her back, but it will make the situation worse if you contact her when she doesn't want it.

 

It's been six months since my ex broke up with me. He wanted a break. I panicked when he told me and still tried to keep in touch with him when he wanted some space, and it pushed him further away. Our would be six year anniversary is in a week, and I still want him back. I tried for two months to keep in contact with him because I thought he would move on and forget about me if I didn't talk to him at least once every week or two. He moved on anyway, and jumped into a new relationship fairly quickly. In a way, I feel my contact pushed him in that direction.

 

When he told me about his new girlfriend, I started NC immediately. He contacted me 3 weeks later, but I ignored it. At the two month mark, he contacted me again. We went another two months without contact before we had our last conversation. Since I've left him alone he's warmed up to me more and initiates conversations. It hasn't brought him back, but a little space can improve the situation. I still want him back six months later. During our last conversation, he was happy to talk to me and was flirting heavily (which took me by surprise). Two weeks of NC is no big deal, even though I know it feels like it is...believe me. Space and clarity are what you both need right now. Give it a little more time before you talk to her.

[needs]

Thank you for the good advice, I needed to hear this today. My main goal is to have her back. Not because I'm in pain and am needy. Because she makes me the happiest I've ever been. I hope she doesn't move on without me. Its such a shock she broke up anyway. We had so many wonderful times together and I hope she thinks of tgose during this nc time. That's all I can do is hope.

 

I hope it works out for you too, I know what the anniversary thing is like. Ours would be tomorrow. But 6 years? That is too long to move on that quickly. If you keep up the nc like you have it seems to me he's creeping back. Good luck with all this.