me and my girlfriend....

[ali1]

Hi all.

I don't know how to begin.Well,I'm a guy living in Pakistan.If you don't already know,here girls aren't allowed to date anyone they like.Once they're in their 20's or older,their parents select a guy for them and then they have to marry them.Now in my case,all my life I had girls fall for me.I just thought about them as a way to spend time.I never thought I'll ever love a girl.Until I met this girl named Hira.I met her when I was faking to be a girl,cuz I thought that if she finds out I'm a guy she might not talk to me cuz of the really strict environment here.Soon after I started talking to her as a girl,we became really good friends,and finally I told her I'm a guy.She didn't mind,and I started talking to her from my real name.And I started falling in love with her.In all my life,it happened for the first time that I ever felt I can't live without her.She was so sweet and nice and funny.With every day that went by,I went deeper and deeper in love with her.And finally I asked her out.She told me she loves me too,but she can't go out with me because her parents don't allow her to do so and she can't betray them.Well,it felt bad but I thought it was OK becuz I planned to marry her in a few years once I got to know her better.And today,when I was chatting with her,she told me that her mum caught her chatting with me a few days back and has strictly ordered her to stop talking to me.I was like,can't we be just friends..and she told me no bcuz no one would believe that we are just friends and its time we stop talking to each other.I felt so broke.Then suddenly I had to go offline,and when I got back on,she had sent me the following email:

 

 

 

 

 

Ali,

it was simple for u to tell me how much hurt u are but ur pain , ur heartaches are nuthin as compared to me..u know why?..... do u?

U know y there was a slight delay wen I said 'bye' whil chatting today ....it was cuz my dad was standing right

behind me.. he caught me talking to u despite his n my mom's warning and u know wat he did…..ali…for the first time in my life, my dad slapped me …ali… for the first time.....

my dad had never scolded me in his entire life but he slapped me n said he wished I were dead. ….U might b thinking that ma parents are makin fuss over this thing…but ali they cant help it…being the only daughter they trusted me blindly..i jus broke their trust....everytime I had a chat wif u. I wud lie to them that I was talking to my skool frined. just to chat with u i lied to them..but i dunt balme u..ali..ts all ma fault.

the day wen ma mom caught me talking to u , the other day my dad told me not to chat with any guyz, to delete all the strange ppl i have added on my msn list.. but I disobeyed him.

I don't balme anyone..its all my fault..i dun balme u..its all ma fault..u know wat...... I shud have deleted the day u told u weren't neelum . I dunt know wats happenin with me..everyone has turned against me… I m being physically n mentally tortured..everytime my skool friemds n cousins find me online they taunt me n parents have got so suspicious that everytime I receive a call they ask for each n every detail…i received two calls from my skool frenz n my mom stayed in the room till i kept the phone down...

ali..this is getting out of my hands…plzzz..jus leave me alone..i beg u to leave me alone…dun ruin ma life…my pain n heartache is more painful than urs…. Its only ME who is leaving U but think abt me..... I m being left by my parents, frenz n cousins…ali..my family n my loved ones are gettin far away from me..plzz dont torment me like this

ali..i beg u to please leave me alone..if u love me ..leave me…its better to help ur loved ones live a better life than to see them dead. Please dun reply to this mail…. Or u are invited to attend my funeral….ali..i m serious…I m stranded amongst so many strangers..everyone has become a stranger to me jus because of my fault..i dun blame any1 ..i m solely responsible for this…ali..i belong to a strict n conservative family n even though..i knew this but I continued to chat with u..its all ma fault.

Ali, wen a guy is considered to be a flirt its normal but wen a girl is considered to be flirt, it's the end of her life.u wont understand it…I know u wont… ali plzz..i beg u to forgive me..plzzz..plzz ali forgive me…n jus leave me alone…jus leave me….let me live the way I was b4 chatting with u....things cannot be normal for me from now onward since my parents have lost faith in me n how can they trrust me now wen this incident is fresh in their minds…ali..plzz forgive me… plzz…I m really sorry.. plzz forgive me….if u really love plzz jus forgive me n leave me just where I m ..ali..i m fed up of my life....i cannot manage to lie anymore… jus b4 I jus get out of my mind and harm myself..plzz leave me….n do not reply to this mail..or else it will revive the whole incident for me..n I just want to forget it. My parents have gone out to the grocery shop….b4 they come..its better I shut down the computer so plzz…forgive me…or i'll probably one day end my life..ali..plzzz...forget me

 

I can't tell you how completely broke I feel.You see,I can't even reply to her email.I don't know how I would ever live without her.Please tell me what I should do!!!

[liltasha]

something about how this has been written makes me a little suspicious about the whole thing...

 

but taking it at face value, there's not a lot you can do - yes you may have strong feelings for her but she's basically begging you not to get in contact with her so you just have to respect that. Will be hard, but she obviously feels it will make her life much much harder if you do persist.

[Heretic]

Hi Ali. Welcome to eNotalone!

 

I really hope someone here can help you with your problems. Honestly from what I understand your rules are deeply rooted in religious beliefs and while heresy may not be a punishable in some countries it is in yours.

 

In this case unless you can get out of the country or somehow convince her family to give her to you there is nothing you can do that I can think of. If you could post more information on your laws, I might be able to figure something out, until then I wish you the best.

 

My heart bleeds for you.

[ForAnother]

Wow, I was very intrigued by your message. I haven't a good response for what you should do because as most of us here do not experience that kind of religious persecution (sp). It is really interesting to see the strength in her as I observe from you in your message. I think that strength here is going to be the most required skill you will have to have in this situation.

 

I would say that you and her could steal away to another country. I have heard many stories of people working and finding their way to the United States where I live. In fact I hear alot of this kind of thing in the newspaper. People finding a strong life here, and enjoying the religious freedoms that you may never have experienced. But I believe if you want to be with her that bad, then that is the extreme you would have to take to be with her. I don't know how long or strong your relationship is. From what I can see, she has a strong heart, that she is able to just let someone she loves just slip out of her hands. So find your strength and find your decision. Good luck Ali, I can't imagine the pain you are going through.

 

I wish you the best.

 

For Another

[ali1]

Hi all.

Thanks a whole lot for replying to me.Well,there isn't anyway I can convince her parents to give her to me.Cuz from what she's told me,her dad would probably get a shotgun for me if I ever visit him.And I can't steal her away to USA either,cuz we are still under 18.And under 18's aren't considered independent in our country(and in most of other countries).Besides,she doesn't seem willing to leave her family either.Yesterday in my last chat with her,she told me her family and her studies are more important to her than anything else.Heck,I don't even know if she loves me for sure.She did tell me once that she loves me,when I asked her out.And she's been talking to me as if she does love me.But I'm not sure.What do you people make out of her email...does she love me?

 

Its really hard to live without her.I'm trying to forget her but I can't.She's the only girl whom I ever loved.I've always been a happy-go-lucky sort of guy.I've had more girlfriends already than you could think of.But I never took them seriously.But this girl I love so deeply..I don't know what to do.

 

I might say that its impossible for me to get her.But,the word Impossible if for losers.I've been running a business from home on the internet already.And I guess I'll get back to it in some time.Its easier to deal with your problems if you have some money...besides,after I have some money,I might be able to visit her.Cuz you see,we don't even live in the same cities.She lives some 500-600 kms away from here.Anyway..I feel pretty better after reading your replies.It feels good that I can tell someone what I'm going through and I could share my feelings with.Now I think I will be able to at least,survive without her.Thanks a lot for all your help and care!Bye.

[ali1]

Hi all.

I have just another little problem...today is 22nd January and this 26th of January is her birthday.Shall I say Happy Birthday to her or not?I mean,after all what she said to me like begging me not to contact her,etc etc,do you think I should wish her Happy Birthday or not?Or may be I should use a fake id and "You Know Who" sort of thing in place of name?What are your opinions?