Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Tell me if you think this is rude? Alright I would like to know if you guys think that this was rude of my friend. My friend (Jenny) and I were texting each other. We work together. So she asked me if I knew who so and so was from work. I said yes, I know her what about her. She asks me if there is any chance I could give her a ride home after their movie. I texted back and said no sorry. I felt that was a bit rude. Let me make some points clear: 1.We were not hanging out together. I can see asking me if we were all hanging out together but we were not. 2. The girl she asked me about I know and we talk sometimes but I don't know her, know her like that. We are not close. I just felt like she expected me to drop whatever I was doing to come and give that person a ride home. Jenny and the girl shes hanging with don't have cars. But that ain't my responsibility to make sure that girl gets home. If she was a close friend or something then sure thats different. But I don't appreciate being used as a taxi service and I won't let it be. So do you agree that was rude of my friend to ask that??? I mean I don't have anything against Jenny's friend but still it's just rude. It's like me texting Jenny and asking her to pick me up from somewhere just out of the blue....its just rude Link to comment
Dragunov-21 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I've got the same kinda issue (reoccurring) with a friend whose older bro doesn't have his license. I wouldn't take issue with it unless she asks again or tries to get you to after you've said no. Mind you, I'm a pretty forgiving person. /2cents Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I don't think it's really rude but rather inconsiderate and user-behaviour. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 well, i don't have a car or a driver's license, but i'd never call up a persron who isn't even there hanging out with me to give me a ride home!!! why can't the friend take a cab or the bus home? why do you have to drive her? and why can't your friend drive her home? glad you said no! Link to comment
tina-rocks Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Maybe she just thought as a friend you might not mind. Some people do not think about their actions or that they might be seen in a poor light. Yes you could say it was inconsiderate of her to ask you to do this and I agree with you it's not at all your responsibility to drive them home. If they do not have cars than it's up to them to arrange their own lifts home. You must be a good friend to her though or perhaps she might not have asked. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Yeah I texted her back about it (cuz I believe in setting boundaries so I won't be taken advantage of.) I'm waiting for her reply and just told her basically what I told you guys and how I felt about it. I told her I don't want any beef or drama. So hopefully she understands and won't be mad. I didn't word it offendly I used all "I" statements so she shouldnt be offended. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 well, i don't have a car or a driver's license, but i'd never call up a persron who isn't even there hanging out with me to give me a ride home!!! why can't the friend take a cab or the bus home? why do you have to drive her? and why can't your friend drive her home? glad you said no! Neither of them have cars. But I agree if they made plans they should have known to have planned for a way home in advance! Why should I drop my plans or what I am doing to fetch for someone I ain't even close to?? I shouldn't. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 how was your friend going to get home? Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Yeah I texted her back about it (cuz I believe in setting boundaries so I won't be taken advantage of.) I'm waiting for her reply and just told her basically what I told you guys and how I felt about it. I told her I don't want any beef or drama. So hopefully she understands and won't be mad. I didn't word it offendly I used all "I" statements so she shouldnt be offended. i don't even think you had to do that. i think you should have just said - 'sorry, kind of busy right now. but i like xxxxx cab company, here's their number.....' Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Well this is what she texted me back "I ain't mad at u my brother said he give her a ride but he started drinking and I didnt want to put her in that situation in case something happened and you were the closest person 2 my house i just asked is all its cool shes stayin the night" I replied. I understand. I just want to be clear on not being used. I told her people used me in the past and I'll be damned if Ill let that happen again. I dont like people using me for their own benefits and will not tolerate that. I dont want to be used and wont be. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 i'm glad you don't want to be used anymore. i agree, good plan. but, you don't even have to say these things out loud (unless your friend has had a history of using you in the past). i think it's just enough to say, 'sorry - here's a number for a cab company.' grown adults, no reason she can't take a cab home. seriously. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Then she texted "That wasnt it I just wasnt gonna put her in harms way I'd of done the same 4 u" I replied: K. I just like to be upfront with folks and let them know where i stand on s)t. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 She replied thats Cool. And told her thanks for understanding. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Thanks guys !! I guess this was not really a big deal after all, but still it's good to SET boundaries in the beginning so they people know not to go over them. At least that is what I believe. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Then she texted "That wasnt it I just wasnt gonna put her in harms way I'd of done the same 4 u" I replied: K. I just like to be upfront with folks and let them know where i stand on s)t. um, then why doesn't she call her friend a cab, if she wants to keep her out of harm's way? oh yeah, because you're free and a cab is not. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 um, then why doesn't she call her friend a cab, if she wants to keep her out of harm's way? oh yeah, because you're free and a cab is not. Hmm. Good point. Never thought of that. Oh well. I will let this slide this time but if this turns out to be an on going thing then I will make a big stink out of it!! Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Then again maybe they didn't even think of a cab. I dk. I dont want to turn it into a huge fight. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 well, i just hate the way your friend was insinuating that by you not offering to give a ride, that you are risking this girls' life. i mean, seriously. she can call a cab, and not inconvience you. i can understand if she's called every cab company in town and no one can drive her (which happens when say there is a major event in town, like a concert, and every single cab is busy). of course, then i can see calling a friend for a ride. and giving them a huge favor the next day. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 well, i just hate the way your friend was insinuating that by you not offering to give a ride, that you are risking this girls' life. i mean, seriously. she can call a cab, and not inconvience you. i can understand if she's called every cab company in town and no one can drive her (which happens when say there is a major event in town, like a concert, and every single cab is busy). of course, then i can see calling a friend for a ride. and giving them a huge favor the next day. Hmm very true. She could have called a cab most certainly and not have bothered asking. We live in a small town, I'd doubt a cabby would not be free for the night. I am almost + one would be available. I couldn't see why one would not. But your prob right they didn't want to spend money so instead they ask friends Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 We were texting again and I asked her what they was all up to and she said movie night. I was just joking and said you didn't invite me? She said I could've came. I told her well I was never invited and I don't show up at people's houses unannounced and she still implied I could've came but I just dropped the subject. Like I was suppose to know she had movie night and to come by? Duh! This girl and I talk at work and are just starting to get to know each other. So I can't read her very well at this point in time. I just hope she don't turn out to be one of the people who I had in the past (USERS) Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I think you should chill. And let her watch the movie in peace. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Hate users. And I guess you'd say Im old-fashioned. If people want me to come over then I should be invited to. Not just tell me you could've came, how the heck am I supposed to know? I don't read minds. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Hmm very true. She could have called a cab most certainly and not have bothered asking. We live in a small town, I'd doubt a cabby would not be free for the night. I am almost + one would be available. I couldn't see why one would not. But your prob right they didn't want to spend money so instead they ask friends well, there have definitely been circumstances where i live that sometimes there are no taxis available. this especially happens when there is a major football game in town, or a major concert or something. if you try to call as the concert is getting out, good luck!!! you and 1000 other people are calling for the same cabs. especially if the weather is bad that day on top of it all. yeah, pretty rude of her to have a movie night and not invite you and then ask you to drive the friend home. Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 "yeah, pretty rude of her to have a movie night and not invite you and then ask you to drive the friend home." Yep, I totally agree! That is pretty bogus. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 yeah, i'd stop texting her, and let her have her movie night. sigh. people sometimes..... Link to comment
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